Why do we say it is ok?

Canada
May 26, 2008 2:07pm CST
I am just wondering why so many people teach their children, and why so many of us as adults simply reply "it's okay" or "that's okay" when we have been appologised to? To me this doesn't make any sense at all. I have been teaching my children to reply with "I accept your appology" when someone has appologised to them. The reason I do this is because for example if someone punched my 5 year old, then later came to say "I'm sorry" and heard "it's okay" then what was all the fuss about? I would tell my 5 year old, no it is not okay that they punched you, but it is nice that they are sorry, so we can tell them that by saying "I accept your appology" Which to me reinforces, I still don't approve of how you hurt me, what you did, but I know that you are really sorry for it, and so I am willing to accept that you are sorry for hurting me. What are your thoughts on this matter? Had you thought about it before now, or did it just filter through as how it has always been done to say "that's okay"? I am very curious about this, because I think that by using something as simple as "that's ok" we can give the kids that did the wrong the illusion that it doesn't matter what they do, as long as they say sorry, "it will be okay".
1 person likes this
3 responses
@Anne18 (11036)
26 May 08
This is a wonderful question, I too do it. Why?? I don't know. I hope someone on Mylot knows the answer as you have got me wondering and someone must have an answer somewhere as to why we do it!
• Canada
26 May 08
yes I am hoping someone will have some answers too, it was a very strong older woman friend of mine that pointed this out, and changed this with how she was raising her kids, I was 18 at that time and she was talking to me about it...so I too am changing it with my kids, but I do get quite a few confused looks when that is the response my kids or I give.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 May 08
i think every situation is different if some punches my child in the face no its no okay just to say "it's okay" apology accepted is more for that situation, however i have been to places where some had bumped me because either they wasnt looking or they got distracted by something and they have said i'm sorry i have answered back it's okay, cuz its not a big issue or i say dont worry. are lanuage isnt perfect and we all respond to things differently
2 people like this
• Canada
26 May 08
yes for sure in that instance if it is accidental then for sure it would be alright to say it's ok. I hadn't thought of that aspect, I guess I am just meaning with intentional things....
1 person likes this
• Canada
26 May 08
I tried to respond to this once already, but my computer messed up. I agree with you. "It's OK sounds so fake, like the person being apologized to is making light o the fact that someone's actually taking responsibility. I would like to THAKN THE PERSON for owning up to the wrong they have committed. If someone doesn't feel bold enough to state "I accept your apology," (I don't see why not) a simple "thank you" would also be nice.
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• Canada
28 May 08
Yes I am in agreement that thank-you would also be a sufficient way to handle the situation!