rico, aren't you married.....

@Ravenladyj (22937)
United States
June 2, 2008 12:08pm CST
LOL well either a troll is just being a troll or there are a few confused ppl here....SOMEONE is tagging without posting I know that much since "Rico" IS in fact my bfs "name" (but only when he ticks me off...kinda like addressing your kids by the entire names when they make you mad)...In any case...Let me clear it up for those of you who arent aware.. YES I AM married...NO NOT to Rico...I'm married to someone else, a man I love very much and have known and been with for the better part of 10 yrs....RICO I've known for over 11 yrs..Yes my husband knows about him and he about my husband...They've spoken briefly on the phone, when I was in Canada my husbnad would mail the letters from here in the U.S for me when the bf was still in prison (before getting his first parole), after our (my husbands and mine) son died my husband ended up driving me from Ontario Canada to Cresson PA so I could go see Rico...My husband has driven me to Allentown PA so i could spend weekends with him (after he got paroled) AND he stays home wiht my kids... You see, my husband and I have an unusual relationship and marriage and always have BUT it's always worked out very well for us and we've managed to survive many things that statistically speaking have caused many a divorce for other couples... So YES, his name is Rico, and YES I am married to someone else Floor is yours ppl...any questions you'd like answered since it is an unusual situation? Or any comments..feel free to share.. MY questions to all of you are....WHY does it seem so odd to so many of you? When you hear of relationships and marriages like this what comes to mind? Could you ever see yourself in a relationship or marriage like that or similar?
9 people like this
16 responses
• United States
2 Jun 08
I am sorry this is happening to you. I make it a rule never to use real names of anyone in my personal life in forums. Only a few friends know my real name. However only one of them makes a point of using it in all her responses which ticks me off no end. Just put it down to someone who has no life and is jealous that you have a loving husband and a good friend. You do NOT have to explain to anyone here why you do what... it is none of their frigging business.
3 people like this
• United States
2 Jun 08
She didn't say she had a husband and a "good friend". She said that she has a husband and a boyfriend as in two relationships. Two men at once. If she didn't want it to be everyones business then she wouldn't have put that information in a nationwide forum for everyone to read. I'm pretty sure she undestands what privacy is.
3 people like this
@Mare73 (1335)
• United States
2 Jun 08
Believe me Leather, Raven couldn't give a fly sh*t about what you or anyone else thinks about her, her life or dealings. Stop judging people - it works for HER and it's HER LIFE. It obviously isn't your thing; she respects you for your beliefs/views, you outta do the same.
1 person likes this
@ESKARENA1 (18299)
2 Jun 08
oh please.... I am sorry this is happening to you. We choose our own path and I for one celebrate Raven's strength, power, individuality and right to choose go for it girl, ignore the heralds of the new dark age they rattle like empty cans
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164354)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Jun 08
hi ravenlady this would not be my cup of tea as I would rather have just a husband, but on the other side you sound happy and if your husband is happy with this then more power to you.I am a widow but when my husband and I were alive we both had friends, not romantic ones, just friends of both sexes but they again were not boy friends or girl friends, just simply friends. we were married only to each other and that was fine with me.
3 people like this
@dfollin (13202)
• United States
3 Jun 08
Hi Hatley, Same here Iam a widow and we had friends.But,my husband and I were satisfied with just each other.Iam sorry about your loss,I know how you feel.
1 person likes this
@Mare73 (1335)
• United States
2 Jun 08
Who gives a flying rat? If it works for you and J, that's YOUR BUSINESS!!! My beliefs, as you know don't agree with that. HOWEVER, I don't pay your bills, I don't feed you, I don't sleep with you, I don't live with you, I am not you. So people need to stop judging people and mind their business. No one's life is perfect and people who claim to live by the bible standards need to understand that the bible clearly says NOT TO JUDGE...and let the one without sin cast the first stone. So tell 'em all to bite you and fu...off! It's not their life, it's yours dag nabit.
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
2 Jun 08
oh my you potty mouth! LOL No one's life is perfect and people who claim to live by the bible standards need to understand that the bible clearly says NOT TO JUDGE...and let the one without sin cast the first stone aint that the truth..and how odd that so often its forgotten (or worse yet justified) when it comes to ANY hot topic!
2 people like this
@Samanthavv (1383)
• United States
3 Jun 08
I don't think I could imagine myself in a marriage like that or similar to that because I don't think I even follow everything you said! I'm sorry. It's just a long difficult to comprehend post. Or maybe I'm just dumb.
@dfollin (13202)
• United States
3 Jun 08
Samanthavv,You are not dumb.At the begining I thought it was hard to understand too,but if you read thru some of the responses and her replies to them,it even gets more confusing.I don't know if she is making it up as she goes,to keep people intrested,like a soap opera,or she has an abnormal marriage.
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
3 Jun 08
No you arent dumb at all..it is confusing to those who arent familiar or comfortable with open marriages (which is what my marriage is, a closed open marriage)...Basically its like this I'm married I ALSO have a bf they know about each other they are both free to date other women PROVIDED they tell me (and my husband is NEVER to bring it into our home)
2 people like this
@vanities (11401)
• Davao, Philippines
3 Jun 08
spending weekends with your ex alone? and its your hubby who drive you there...my gosh its indeed strange and very weird kind of relationship...its the first time i heared this kind of arrangement...
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
3 Jun 08
no no..he's not my "ex" he is my bf....and my hubby has driven me there in the past and picked me up from there..it was rare though since its in another state...
2 people like this
@Amberina (1541)
• United States
3 Jun 08
Oh my gosh I have been going through some difficult things the past 24 hours and life for me is bad right now. After reading your story and reading all the other posts, at first I was in a huff about your relationships I guess it was because I felt a little jealous (I'm going through a break-up right now), but then I got to thinking about it and you are a brave woman to have all those judgemental comments come at you lol. Also if you are happy and your men are happy then thats all that matters most people can't find happiness so when they see it in others they want to ruin it a little just to make themselves feel good. Best wishes, ~~Amberina~~
2 people like this
• Philippines
3 Jun 08
I think it seems odd to so many of us because relationships like yours and your husband and your bf is unusual. Does your husband have someone too like you do? If not, can you stand the thought when he finds one without getting jealous? You never know he might be hurting inside and just hide it from you because he loves you that much.
2 people like this
@Mare73 (1335)
• United States
2 Jun 08
Here are my responses: WHY does it seem so odd to so many of you? Some people can't think or comprehend outside the "box" When you hear of relationships and marriages like this what comes to mind? Hey whatever works for you. Could you ever see yourself in a relationship or marriage like that or similar? Nope...I'm a traditional one man/one woman kind of gal - but that's me. We are all different.
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
4 Jun 08
I figure if it works for you (welcome to the seventies! LOL), then it's no one elses business. Time for me to go troll hunting again I think...........................pop! There goes one now! LOL
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
4 Jun 08
Time for me to go troll hunting again I think...........................pop! There goes one now! LOL *chokes on her coffee* ROFLMFAO GET IT SPARK I'LL CUT IT OFF AT THE NECK...ER UM...I MEAN PASS *goes into stealth mode *
2 people like this
• Canada
4 Jun 08
I know, she's priceless, isn't she. I love her. She is so cool!
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
4 Jun 08
I was thinking a little lower and more central? ROFL Make a eunuch out of it!
• Canada
2 Jun 08
It's almost like reersed polygamy! haha (I say that with a BIG SMILE!!!). If it's what works for you and all involed, that's just FINE, and who is anyone else to judge? As long as all are in agreement and no one is getting hurt, that's great. In some of those polygamy cases, buys own their wives and brainwash them, and that's not right. Know what I'm saying? If all involved have their wits about them, and everything is stable, and without injury, as long as all are consenting adults, have fun!!!
1 person likes this
• Canada
2 Jun 08
PS. My husband and I only have eyes for eachother!!!
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
2 Jun 08
As long as all are in agreement and no one is getting hurt, that's great. absolutely! I'm sure that my husband would love if it was just us and I'm sure that my bf would lvoe the same thing BUT thats human nature and its always short lived too I HOWEVER would love it if we all lived in the same house ..
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Jun 08
Ok... Questions? Does your boyfriend have other women in his life? If so what about the possibility of disease? A girl I know may have herpes and she has been very careful. How would you feel if you lost your husband later because of this relationship? Could it be possible that he might fall in Love with someone else since you two are sharing? What comes to my mind is that how could the husband or the BF not wonder if you were thinking of the other when you were with them? (Did that make sense?) Could I ever be in a relationship like this? NO WAY, NO HOW, AINT HAPPININ!! My momma taught me to share but my husband is out of the question. He is mine and I am his aint no room for anyone else.
1 person likes this
@littleowl (7157)
2 Jun 08
Hi Raven-I have always believed what works for some will not work for others-and no matter how unusual your marriage maybe as long as it works for you that is the main thing-no matter what others think and say and if they can't understand it then that IS their problem not yours or anyone elses-you friend Littleowl
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
2 Jun 08
EXACTLY! littleowl you nailed it too..it IS their problem..not ours (mine, my hubby, my bf)...
@cwilson26 (2736)
• United States
3 Jun 08
Wow! I am not judging you because it is obviously your life. However, I do not agree with it. Just one question, because now I'm curious. Do you still sleep with your husband even though you have a boyfriend? Just wondering. Not trying to fight with you or anyone else. I just couldn't see my husband and I doing this, but I could see some people in my family having this kind of relationship, particularly my brother-n-law's and their wife and girlfriend. :)
1 person likes this
@dfollin (13202)
• United States
3 Jun 08
When I first read this I was thinking why is she even telling us about this? I have to agree with another replier,this is not right.Iam not calling names or judging.But,I get my view from Gods word in the bible and I know He would not agree. But,we don't even know if this is true,because it make's no sense on why she would tell us this story.I believe that she is starting a decision to earn on myLot.We all want to earn on myLot.Personally I do not tell my private life and I don't make up any discussion's.But,if she or anyone else want's too then that's between them and myLot. Here is is now after 12:30,midnight and Iam going to bed.Goodnight to my friends and I will go to sleep with the peace of mind,knowing that I did not lie or tell announce private issues in mine or anyone elses lives.
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
3 Jun 08
I believe that she is starting a decision to earn on myLot.We all want to earn on myLot. LOL are you serious?? I've been here for 2 yrs now and my reason for being here at this point (and for a long time now) is because I enjoy it...the pay is a bonus Personally I do not tell my private life and I don't make up any discussion's.But,if she or anyone else want's too then that's between them and myLot. YOU may keep your private life to yourself..thats fine, thats your choice...MY LIFE however is an open book..I have websites telling about it, I talk openly and honestly about my life, my past my experiences and always have, in here, at other forums and offline as well...I NEVER make up stories FOR ANY REAONS..
3 people like this
@dfollin (13202)
• United States
3 Jun 08
Yes,Iam serious there are plenty of people here just to see how much money they can get.And someone made a discussion on here the other day saying that they best way to get a lot of responses and earn alot is to say something bizzare or wild (he did not say those words,but that is the way Iam describing it,because I do not remember his exact words).Your second response to what I said,well my life is an open book as well,but if I had any intimate stuff going on I would not be telling it to everyone.I know,now your going say because I have nothing like that in my life going on right now that Iam just jealous and cutting you down.Iam not judging you.You put this on here obviously to get comments and opinions,so I told you,that's it.I do not have anything intimate going on in my life right now because God chose to take my husband out of his pain from cancer 3 and half years ago.But,when he was here we did not cheat on each other or have other intimate relationships because we were happy and satisfied each other.Obviously that is not the case with you or you would not feel the need to also see someone else and he also would have not had the urge to see someone behind your back.If it is so open then why did he feel he had to have your open marriage behind your back?This story makes no sense.
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
3 Jun 08
Your second response to what I said,well my life is an open book as well,but if I had any intimate stuff going on I would not be telling it to everyone. So when you are in a relationship you dont let ppl know? I know,now your going say because I have nothing like that in my life going on right now that Iam just jealous and cutting you down. Not at all...dont make assumptions Just because ppl dont understand it doesnt mean I think they are all jealous OR putting me down. I'll be the first to say that its NOT for everyone by any means... Iam not judging you. LOL never said you were You put this on here obviously to get comments and opinions,so I told you,that's it. Actually i put this on here because ppl tend to get confused when I post and mention my bf in one post then my husband in another...and yes I am very curious as to what others think. But,when he was here we did not cheat on each other or have other intimate relationships because we were happy and satisfied each other.Obviously that is not the case with you or you would not feel the need to also see someone else Actually you are extremely WRONG...I'm beyond satisfied and happy with my men...I love them both dearly and they love me and my kids....Like I said, dont make assumptions [i]and he also would have not had the urge to see someone behind your back.If it is so open then why did he feel he had to have your open marriage behind your back? My bf messed around becuase I was living in another country, then another state and he fell off the wagon and got hooked up in partying again. We couldnt see each other as much as we wanted due to distance and he took a slide backwards with his recovery...Its not that he wasnt satisfied with me..I was miles and miles away with limited access to him AND life out on the streets became very difficult for him (which is why he ended up in prison again) This story makes no sense. LOL because you arent paying attention
2 people like this
• Canada
3 Jun 08
I knew from seeing some of your responses that you had a husband AND a boyfriend, but I never asked you about it. So you have an OPEN marriage, in that you are BOTH allowed to sleep with other people, without reprimand?
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
4 Jun 08
Well its a closed open marriage (a term I learned from someone here actually LOL)..I have my bf and my husband is more than welcome to have a gf but we arent free to just go out and hook up with whomever..Make sense?
1 person likes this
• Canada
4 Jun 08
Yeah, I get it. I can see the attraction for some people to do this. It adds some variety for those that may get bored, but love their life with their spouse. I see nothing wrong with it as long as you are all happy and are getting what you need from each other. It is a little spice without too much risk. Neat.
@winterose (39916)
• Canada
11 Jun 08
to be honest, I read this and didn't understand anything you said,