Not interested with my man's interest, what should i do?

Philippines
June 5, 2008 8:26am CST
I got into a relation ship with a man i love. It's been almost 2 years. And now, this thought has been hitting me hard for the past couple of days. We have w hole lot of differences! He likes japanese foods and veggies, i'm more of the filipino cuisines and meat. He likes video games and his good at it, i hate it because i always suck at it. I'm a catholic, he doesn't believe in God. And we have many other differences. So this got me thinking, how can this relationship really last? What should i do if i want to do this and he wants to do something else? Do you believe that people who are dissimilar can end up happily ever after? --You tell me--(^^,)
2 people like this
19 responses
@Erratic (724)
• Australia
5 Jun 08
I think you need to look at this from a perspective like this. Do you still love him? Do you think he still loves you? If you answer yes to both of these questions, then continue on while persuing your own interests and allowing him to persue hie. That is, give each other some space. Its nice if couples do everything together, but seldom practical. If you aswered no, it's time to end it while still on friendly terms. It may be easy for me to sit here and type advice but these situations are never easy. All the best my friend.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
5 Jun 08
I think more than not wanting to do the same things, the bigger issue is not having the same principles and beliefs. If you plan for this relationship to be a serious one, you have to give it much thought, since, if ever, there would be more big and petty issues to arise as you take further steps in your relationship. People who are not alike may still find their way to a happy ending but people who have different beliefs and who follow different dreams may have to exert extra effort to achieve this. You may need to sacrifice your own beliefs just to make the relationship work. But then again, will that make you happy in the long run?
1 person likes this
@wendy1980 (131)
• China
4 Jul 08
If you love him and if he loves you ,I think any other thing is not such important.beause you two can accept each other and can change for each other.just try,you can do it .
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
20 Jun 08
This may work out or it could backfire. If you really like each other and can work past the differences, then it'll work. Cuisine, you can both adjust. At times, choose something from another region to cook and see how you like that. Keyword: compromise. Hobbies, that shouldn't be an issue but it really astounds me how much it is (most notably gaming). You each have your own hobbies and its good to share in them, but its even better to let your partner have the hobby within reason. Religion, that may take work. I know some people that absolutely refuse to associate with those of different or no religion, even in love. If its a nagging issue, then it might be a problem. I've seen other examples however of couples having different religion.
@soumyaraj (401)
• India
6 Jun 08
Its completely upon you......though I have seen people with varied interest loving each other. Nobody is perfect in this world ....everybody comes with their sets of merits and demerits.....if you want to spend the rest of your life with him....then you have to think practically.... what you would be able to tolerate and what not .....and take a decision and communicate your thoughts to him and then decide. Best of luck.....and take the right decision.....god bless...
• Philippines
6 Jun 08
variety makes you attractive
@athinapie (1152)
• Philippines
6 Jun 08
You don't have to like whatever your man likes and it is not necessary that both of you should have the same interests in order for the relationship to work. What matters is that you are there for him and he's there for you when needed. It's even nice to have different interests to add spice in a relationship. So don't worry about it.
@wisedragon (2330)
• Philippines
6 Jun 08
I think it's still possible. It's a matter of respecting each other's differences rather than imposing one's interests on the other. Each of you needs a life of your own anyway. Think of it as being adventurous by trying the other person's interests. Think of it as learning from each other. With regards to the religion, it will become an issue once you have your own children. How will you raise them? You will have to find a way to agree on that.
@Abby123 (261)
6 Jun 08
I think that its better to be different in lots of ways,it would be too boring if we were allthe same.At least if you have different interests it gives you something good to chat about .Yes I think it will wwork if you give it time.
• Philippines
6 Jun 08
Having common interests is not the basis of having a good and lasting relationship. As long as you go along with each other then that's okay. But don't you really have something in common? Even simple things like laughing together at some corny jokes would be good. And who knows, you may get to like his interests, and him into yours as well!
• India
6 Jun 08
Hi friend, your issue is very sensitive! if you realy want to spend your whole life with him, then there must be some changes either in you or in your beloved. you should change some of your likings according to him and vice-versa otherwise the life wont be happy. everybody else here can only suggest you, but it's you who has to make the descision. all the best for your life....
@anex08 (868)
• Philippines
6 Jun 08
Hi!, your situation is a bit complicated. But there are no absolute similarity in a relationship, if you love each other and respect each other right then its the biggest reason that will make you stay forever. True Love conquers all and that is true, even if you have lots of differences, respect should be given on what each partner enjoy to do. Understanding comes along way, be patient and bring him to a heartly talk, explain what you think and what is your opinion, men are not speech starter so its all woman action that drives them to open and share their thoughts. Love is still the main reason why we have to stick to our patners even if differences is a mean challenger. cheers!!
6 Jun 08
If we love somebody, we have to respect their strengths and also weaknesses. A beautiful love life begins when each of them give respect and understand their hobbies, and the things. Understanding plays a crucial role for a successful married life. We have to think other's point of view and understand them. These are enough to build successful married life. All the best for your future!
@salonga (28016)
• Philippines
6 Jun 08
There is a zero chances that you will end up happily. That is my prediction and I bet that would happen unless that man changed his belief. Your incompatibility in food, likes and dislikes and so on and so forth are tolerable and could be by all means patched up but I advice you to just go and find another man simply because of one reason that you gave.... that he does not believe in God. How do you expect God to bless your marriage if your partner does not believe in Him??? The Bible admonishes the believers to be be not equally yoke with unbelievers and if you claim that you are a believer..that you believe in God then you ought to obey Him. There are many fish in the ocean so they say, why not catch another one and make sure it is a real good catch this time.
• India
6 Jun 08
ya.people who are dissimilar can end up happily for ever.If their relationship is good and understanding it can be. if not atleast any one of u must sacrifice in normal things which will leads to better understanding.the more u sacrifice yourself the more understanding.Try change yourself for all of these things..things will change
@shamaj (13)
5 Jun 08
do you still love him and he loves you, then this anyways doesn't matter.No two people never had similar tastes in life except few. It doesn't mean that they are unhappy. Please goahead and live without expectations, in the sense don't try to pull him towards your intrests , keep admiring his intrests and the way he handles everything, this would make him love you more and create a very good understading between each other. On the whole accept him as such when he loves you and thinks, you are the one and only for him.
@Hatley (164654)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Jun 08
myhusband and I were as unalike as day and night but we complemented each other.I was an introvert, and he was an extrovert. He was always friendly to ' everyone while i was the shy one. I was a Protestant and he was a Seventh Day adventist.but we got along 'beautifully as we were best friends as well as lovers. Your relationship can last if you both do a bit of compromising, one time you both do what you like to do, next time you both do what he likes to do, then'there are no battles and you are both really happy.
@freedomg (1684)
• United States
5 Jun 08
I have been married to my polar opposite for 17 years and there are times when it's hard. We try very hard to show interest in what the other one likes and try new things. The main thing to remember is that you have to build off what you have in common. And when there is something that he really wants to and you don't do (or visa versa) it's o.k. to not be joined at the hip. With a little work and some patience and understanding happily ever after can be yours.
• Philippines
5 Jun 08
hell0!! its been 2 years now but you still with him its only means that you love him. but if you think to tie a knot. i suggest not. for me having differences its ok but if it bothers me a lot i will definitely ended it up. specially when religions matter. you said he doesn't believe in God. so how come you will be happy without faith in God. please try to think it over.. does he love me? why because if he really loves you he will change his beliefs about God. Right? and a 2 years relationship its not a joke, sooner or later you will decide to get married. and you are the one who will suffer a lot when that happens. so try to think it twice, trice.. k.