Where do we draw the line with our kids?

United States
June 18, 2008 9:43am CST
I've been planning on a trip to visit my daughter and grandson in Long Beach, CA for months because I haven't seen them in at least 10 years . My daughter who lives a few cities over from me is having a lot of problems with child care, working, money and life in general and really needs my help right now. It's all very complicated because I've been having health problems and have been trying to finally get my life together and now she is talking about her and my granddaughter (who I love dearly)moving into my very small 3 room apartment with me so I can take care of her while my daughter goes to work...for the summer...again! I had my granddaughter all last summer and because she has Downes Syndrome she is a handful for me. She can do very little for herself and can't be left alone. At 61 years old I think I should be able to have a life but on the other hand I want to help them out. My daughter is a slop and us living together isn't going to be easy but there really is no alternative because she has no money or help of any kind to get another apartment on her own. It's all a big mess...as usual. My question is ...where do we draw the line when it comes to our grown kids? I've always but my kids first since I raised them alone after divorcing their father. What is a mother to do?
2 responses
@jonesy123 (3950)
• United States
18 Jun 08
What is a mother to do? Apply some tough love. Your daughter needs to learn to get her act together. There are programs that will help, even get her an appartment. If she has to go on welfare, so be it. There is help available for people with children who need permanent care. She needs to stop being selfish and find that help. Offer to help, but it is time for you to be selfish. Your health is more important. You will not always be there to drag your daughter out of whatever mess she has gotten herself into. It's better you are there to guide rather than just jumping in and letting her run all over you. Go visit your other daughter while you still can and still an enjoy your grandson.
@SwtJenlove (1090)
• United States
18 Jun 08
There are programs out there that could help her. tell her to go to the state and ask for help. they have programs that will find her a job and find child care for her kid(s). Maybe look into that and see what kind of programs they have available. i hope that helps :)