Does religion determine whom you will have a romantic relationship with?

@fiona08 (454)
United States
June 25, 2008 9:39am CST
I am curious. To all of you who believe strongly in your faith, whether it be Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or any other, would you date someone who is not a member of your religion? What about marrying outside your religion? What is your religion, and why or why would you not date/marry outside your religion?
1 person likes this
5 responses
• United States
25 Jun 08
My husband and I have been best of friends since we were very young. He is an observant Catholic, and I am an observant Jew. He was born in Cuba, and I was born in Massachusetts. We always thought those differences were too great to overcome. We both married other people who shared our religions and cultural backgrounds. Since he was only 8 when his family came to Miami (long before Castro!), he's pretty Americanized. Anyway, though, we were both very unhappily married, and we loved going places as sort of double dates and such. Although we'd been divorced for many years before that, we finally got married ten years ago. The honeymoon never ends! We are absolutely the happiest couple anywhere. In all these years, we've never had an argument; we discuss disagreements and work them out without drama. We both think the most important elements of a happy marriage are friendship and respect, along with loving trust. I wish everyone could be as happy as we are!
@fiona08 (454)
• United States
25 Jun 08
That is a lovely story! I am very happy for you both. Thanks for sharing. One question though, if you don't mind. For me this is not a problem because I can't imagine God turning away anyone who has done their best to be a good person, but for you and your husband, is there any worry about the other's salvation? Do you feel like you will both be in the next life together? Thanks for indulging my curiosity. Much continued happiness.
@fiona08 (454)
• United States
25 Jun 08
I think you both have a fabulous outlook, and I am sure you are right about being together. You know, I have thought a lot about reincarnation, and I just don't know what I believe. I am not entirely sure how I feel about any aspect of religion, except that I know there is a higher power, and that decency, kindness, compassion, etc. are all keys to our eternal happiness.
• United States
25 Jun 08
I do believe we're on the right track. Never stop trying to be better and more positive. Most things will then take care of themselves.
@lvaldean (1612)
• United States
25 Jun 08
I think ultimately culture, including religious beliefs play strongly into the success or failure of a relationship. It is very difficult to overcome strongly held beliefs and the training of a lifetime. When two people come from very different backgrounds bridging these makes for added stress on a relationship. It can be done but why would you want to when relationships are already so difficult to begin with? Also, in most cases when the religions would prohibit marriage outside, one of the partners would have to convert. When you consider the sacrifices including loss of culture, family, personal identity, history, even God....I just don't think many people would be willing to go down this road. Even within faiths it is often difficult. Look at all the differences in the Christian faith itself. Catholic versus Protestant for example, one has to give up their strongly held beliefs to marry the other. Just to answer your other question, I am a recoverying Catholic.
@lvaldean (1612)
• United States
25 Jun 08
Yeah that would be me - recovering from Catholisism. I don't need a 12-step program for it. I just walked away. Figure if I never really drank the kookaid (pun intended) so it really wasn't all that difficult. Loved the pomp. Really love mass, it is truly beautiful especially when said in Latin. Love the soaring cathedrals of Europe. Love the beauty of Rome. Just don't like the message or history of the Church itself. Think it is so seeped in blood. The blood of innocents in particular that it cannot be held up as a model of behavior or saintliness. Think it is so seeped in politics that it cannot offer a way to heaven. So yeppers I will find my own way to heaven thanks.
@fiona08 (454)
• United States
25 Jun 08
My reasons for walking away from Mormonism are much the same. Too much poor treatment of human beings. Too many parts I just don't want to swallow. I'm going to find my own way too! Hope I see you on the way. :)
@ElaanR2 (277)
• United States
1 Jul 08
Although I would date somebody from another faith, to tell the truth, if I find someone who shares the same faith with me, I cannot say that I would be impartial. Relationships already come with so many differences in opinion that when there is an opportunity to find common ground, I would pursue it. The more we have in common, the better.
@fiona08 (454)
• United States
1 Jul 08
Sometimes, people share the same values, standards, goals for humanity, etc., even though there is a difference in religion. When that is the case, I wonder if the difference in religion would really be a big problem. Thank you for your response.
@norwexer (149)
• Canada
25 Jun 08
Not for me, unless it would interfere. My religion doesn't have odd rules about whom I may marry. I would only have issues if the one I am with has issues, and then that would get worse and worse and we would just end up breaking up right. So I guess it depends on the person and not really the religion. LOL Gods I am long winded today and still asleep LOL.
@fiona08 (454)
• United States
25 Jun 08
I'm almost always long winded! :) And the advantage of my "religion" is, I say what the rules are. Which mainly consist of treating others with kindness, and compassion. So unless my partner's religion tells him our union is not good, I don't have a problem with it either.
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
25 Jun 08
I think for those who strongly believe in their faith, that it would be extremely difficult to marry someone outside the relegion. Dating is different and should not be a problem. Marriage would be because the idea of marrying outside the religion would directly or indirectly conflicting with pinciples of religion. Again my point of view is this is for someone who strongly believes their faith.
@fiona08 (454)
• United States
25 Jun 08
What if while you are dating, you fall head over heels in love with someone of a different faith? Or who is not religious at all? You run the risk of loving someone if you date them. Is dating really a good idea if you are against marrying the person in the end?