How would you feel when somebody bosses?
June 27, 2008 1:19am CST
How would you feel when somebody bosses on you, that you have to eat this only, not necessary to cook anything else. This is what my mother in law does. She is so stingy, she tries to control everyone , what every member in the house should eat. Is it fair? See today she was supposed to go to ceremony for lunch so she said not to make bhajji as yesterdays bhajji was left , i feel so sad.....
27 Jun 08
hi ramya welcome again .never allow any one to take over. even the boss consults me before issuing an important order.well mother is no boss and no boss is viceversa. tell her saas bhi kabhi bahu hogi and wait you get an equal opportunity or staright away be the controller of the situation..
20 Jul 08
Hi ramyashreesk! I do have a controlling mother in law too but somehow over the years, she mellowed down a bit. She has this way of controlling people without being too obvious and won't force it down on your throat though but she will make you pay if you contradict her though. I guess, it all boils down to learn how to be diplomatic. It is just a matter of giving in and putting your foot down. I do give into her sometimes but I do put my foot down when it will affect my sanity and my relationship with my husband. Easily said than done! But I do hope you will be able to overcome this and be able to learn how to keep her in control somehow. Take care and God Bless!
27 Jun 08
Hola you sound like such a sweet person! It is not my place to say but with all do respect leave that place and be free. As you put it bosses on you yes this is not right All I can say is it sounds like something from a 3rd world movie and because I live in one I know but unless you have kids you can always leave. How you ever live with mother in law must take so much humility. I find it hard to even live with my real mother. Why not go to a place where you can eat what you want? Please take care and stay beuatiful. Happy lotting.
27 Jun 08
Hey avidwhit thanks for response! but dear friend this is India we have to follow our culture, obeying our elders is our culture. But even she is highly qualified lady would she not understand? Anyways you doing good i can see ,good going ! Enjoy mylotting!
29 Jun 08
I am from the USA and have lived here in mexico for 8 years and when someone uses the excuse that this is mexico it makes me almost livid and crazily upset. We are all individually built humans. Each has different biological make up. A person who is 20 has way different vitamin and mineral intake needs than someone who is 50. Calorie intake may very as well, depending on activity. Each of humans has the right to eat what it is that our spirit tells us is nescesary to maintain proper health. We all have the right to feel good and good about life. We all have the right to love our selves and love one another. If your are working and contributing to the house hold (not just being a lazy sluggard) Do you infact have the right to eat when and what yu want. Regardless of where we live we all have the right to life and happiness. The right to not be taken advantage of, the right not to be lied to, and for sure the right not to be controlled like a slave, unless you in fact have sold this right. Personally Id rather live on the street or in a cardboard box in the desert alone or with myloved one than have someone tell me what and when I can eat. This is about all we can hope for in life, eat drink, be happy and enjoy our work. Its not right for anyone young or old to say you cant do these 4 simple things. In all due respect!!! I admire the fact you take culture and elders into haert felt consideration! Please remember one thing It is the also these same ones and culture who helped to make the world what it is today and permit things to carry on that way. We as huans need to reconize the good and the bad and get rid of the bad customs that make the world unenjoyable. No matter where we live or our culture or who is in charge. I realize that there is only so much one can do. But we do have to stand up for ourselves and love our selves enough to help bring about the needed changes in order to make all cultures and countries see this love that we have for ourselves and others. I know how you feel just be tactful and honest. If this doent work you can always go live live somewhere else and take your loved ones as well. If I was your husband I'd tell my mom hey listen up thats my wife and she is going to eat what she wants! So give her room to live before she ends up resenting you and then I am unhappy. Many blessings to you and your family and like they say happy my lotting. Take care and see you athte next post!
27 Jun 08
I hate being bossed about or told what to do, it is so unecessary seeing as I am now an adult. As an adult people are free to make their own choices and decide what they want to do for themselves and they should not be told by anyone else that it is wrong. I do not mind listening to advice as long as it is given in that way.
• United States
22 Aug 08
I don't like being pushed around by anybody. I am my own person and I don't want someone telling me how I should live my life. And I especially don't want anyone telling what I should or should not eat, lol. It's not fair to have someone control your life, not even as an adult.
• Garden Grove, California
1 Aug 08
hi ramyashreesk You have to tell your mother inlaw that 'you are a grown woman, and not her child, she has no right to tellyou what to eat and what to cook.No it is not fair, and you have to grow up and tell her who is boss. why must you bow to her wishes, she is not your mother, and has no rights over you at all. I know you are not from the US but still in any country you have the right over your own kitchen and household, not your mother in law. If you are all living together is it not time you and your husband and children should have your own home?