You just found that your boyfriend is cheating with you for a one night stand?

Hi dorothy, Everybody need a second chance.But all i can say is can you able to give him a chance.That defends on you.I been betrayed by my partner he cheated on me and seperated for more months.I cannot forgive him for what he did.We been together for 4 years and nothing happen like this.He lied at me over and over again about it even i know already what happen becouse i found it my self.I loved him so much but at that time i cant diffenitely not forgive him.But the time will heal all the wounds i forgive him and and decided to be friend w/ him.But i still cant forget what he did to me.But after a while somebody came along but i cant have any realtionship,i been so hurt so badly of what he did and even i cannot have any new realtionship.Onetime i have this guy that i really like,he is good looking a lot of girl like him.We're dating but i cannot say yes i want to be her gf even i though i love him.I am so scared for new realationship.SO my partner ask for forgiveness and telling how much he miss me that he cannot live w/out me.That he make a big mistake of doing that.He wants me back.I said no to him but he really did everything to get me back.So i decided to get back together that having anew realtionship.I said atleast in that way i know him already.With a new relationship i cannot be sure if he is not going to do the same thing he did.I give him a chance,but sometimes i still got this feelings that giving him a chance is wrong i cant trust him anymore.And situationed changed me big time.I never been the same to him anymore after a while.And i feel like i make a big mistake of giving him a chance.But we are still trying to work it out.His doing everything what he can so i can trust him back.And me i am being honest to him w/ my feelings i am telling him that my love is not the same as before and i dont trust him anymore.And he said he will do everything to prove it to me that i can trust him again that he dis a very big mistakes and he knows what is more important to him.I just hope w/ this story can give you way a little bit.Ask your self if you can able to love him w/out looking back about what happen and you can trust him back 100%.If you can able to do that then you should give him a chance.If its not i suggest you move on and try to forget what happen and just be friend w/ him for your peaceful mind.Have a nice day my friend.. Greetings from Che!

Theres no perfect relationship relationship.Sometimes we are tested wherein we have to face a very tough situation to face in order for us to prove how strong our love for each other.As a woman this would be hard and hurtful situation but if you love really love the guy i guess you should give another try for your relationship and make it work because if you give up easily you will suffer the pain and unhappy but if you give your boyfriend another chance at least you gie justice for your love and if doesn't work you won't feel any regrets because you tried it for the second time.

There are two main things to consider in such situations: the fact that he says he was so drunk as to have a one night stand without thinking too much about it in the first place and the fact that he also did that, which betrayed your trust. If I took his word for it that he was too drunk to control his behaviour, then I would have to ask myself if I wanted to continue to live with a drinker who could easily lose control on occasions and shag anything in sight. Whether that will be a repeat occurrence every time he drinks, as he is blaming it on the drink, and whether I could trust him again to drink without repeating his actions. Those would be very real concerns for me because we are all responsible for our actions. No matter what state we are in, self control indicates that we are thinking, feeling human beings who know how to act in the company of others. If he is saying that being drunk leads to that kind of behaviour, what is he saying about himself and the future? Second, if he thinks nothing of sleeping with someone else though he is dating you, would he have been happy if you did that too? Does he expect you to accept it and carry on as normal when trust is the essence of any relationship? Only you know how you can treat him after that folly, depending on how much he and the relationship mean to you. But I think once the indignation is out of the way, the first question to ask your fellow is what attracted him to that woman in the first place. When people start to stray it is a sure sign that something is missing from the relationship. Partners can feel mad and angry at a betrayal, but if they ignore its underlying causes, it is likely to repeat itself. You have been going four years. Are things taken for granted? Is there an element of boredom creeping in? Does he not feel affirmed and valued enough? Why he is drinking so much? Could it be that it is simply time for you both to seek new pastures? Time for some self reflection and examination here because once attraction goes between two people, it does not return, neither can it be manufactured. Things just gradually get worse. My guess is that the one night stand is a symptom of something deeper. Perhaps it is time to begin the communication to see how you can save the relationship, or to call it a day.

I would say there is the door, dont let it hit you on' the bum on your way out. good bye. do not come back. that is my answer to you, a cheater cheats and does it'over and over and over. four years, ten years,stilla cheater is a cheater. kick him to the curb and save your self respect and sanity. he is not worth worrying about believe me. get himnout or you get out, but drop the relationship at once.

i'd kick his butte to the curb. believe me if they do it once they'll do it again. if you can't trust them you have nothing , doesn't matter how much u love them, youwill get hurt.

Well in my experience from personal experience and friends/family experience, once a cheater, always a cheater. I've never been proved wrong, but I hope one day to be proved wrong. First you gotta think about if you can learn to trust him again as that is one thing that makes a relationship. Something I have an issue with in your situation is you found out from your friend, not your boyfriend. I might almost been able to say give him a second chance if as soon as it happened he came running and telling you what happened, but he didn't. As for you saying you almost feel its a test, I don't think its a test, a test would be to have him move away for months then have him come back and see if you feel the same or not, not to see if you can with stand cheating. Good luck in your situation.

As a guy, I think it it is a breach of trust and the girl is free to take her own decision. No excuse can be good enough.

I would like to put my view in a neutral manner, that is I feel that the same rules apply for a boyfriend and a girlfriend in a relationship (general issue of cheating) and that my answer is really from my heart. The basis of a relation is trust. If trust is broken once, it is very hard to put it back. Even though one can make himself/herself believe that there is no chance of this happening again, a tiny fear remains in the corner that slowly corrodes the belief in the relationship, leading to its weakening and finally to its demise. I too believe that there should always be a second chance, but this is solely dependent on the person concerned and the gravity of the situation and the sincerity and truthfulness of your partner and the amount of faith you have in him/her that this will not happen again.

I'm a guy and a conservative one too. If a guy cheats on his girl then you can be sure there is something wrong with the relationship or that he is seeing something that justifies his doing so. Believe me, it will not be the last time. What that thing is, I don't know but a guy would not destroy or jeopardize something that he values so much unless he himself is not valuable enough in his own eyes and would do anything without thought to consequences; in which case you could be in for a bit of trouble if you're stuck on the guy.

i wouldn't hesitate to crush their face lol call me a war freak or whatever, i just can't stand it if that really happens on me (i just hope that it wouldn't happen on me). getting drunk is not the reason for that, i know that he also likes it. if a guy's not interested with a girl who's flirting with him then i believe that it wouldn't happen in the first place

I would be in shock if this happened . I would wanna know why my boyfriend put himself in this situation anway. I think that is the thing I would wanna know is why . I dont like the whole I was drunk thing . I think it depends on the person and what they wanna do . It can be something that is worked out if both couples want to work though it. For myself it is not something I could get over and if I did i would need time to heal . Yes , drinking makes us do foolish things , but come on !

if this things happens to me,i will give him a chance. first every one will make some mistakes in our life...work out if he really is being genuine with you and truly regrets his actions,can you,even though you have feelings for him-ever forget of forgive what he did?if you can, then it has a chance. if you can't, then it will niggle at you and you will be constantly paranoid and confused. if your reasons for going back to him are valid-you still love him and want him etc then thats great but if you are only interested still because you havn't found anything better then that is settling and sooner or later you'll be miserable. if this thing happens to you.nobody can make this decision except you- listen to your head and you'll make the right decision.

You should break up with him. Anyone who cheats on you is not good enough for you period. No matter how many TV shows my glorify or give excuses for cheating it's wrong and it completely ruins trust. A relationship must have trust for it to be anything substantial. The trust you lose when someone cheats can never be replaced.

The main thing I would have running through my mind would be "What happens the next time he is drunk?" Trust is broken. Will you be able to forget and move on and continue the relationship? Or, will you have in the back of your mind that doubt of if he will do this again? It may have been because he was drunk but it still is not a good enough excuse. Should you through 4 years down the drain? He did...and for a one night stand.

I don't think people can get that drunk that they have no boundaries at all, there's still the factor of free will. Yes, you loosen up and loose boundaries but it's up to you if you cross them. For example you are very shy, you dare to shout and dance when your drunk but you choose if you want to or not. And if you are really, really drunk I don't think you can even walk straight, let alone have a one night stand. I wouldn't like my boyfriend to be drinking that much and I'm also firmly against cheating so I agree with Irish that I hope he had a very good time as he will be facing a lot of alone time from there on.

Dump him. He will do it again, and again. He cannot be trusted. Being drunk is no excuse.

Hey my responce is just short and sweet. Cut him loose i was in a similar realitionship and you just never get over it so that is what i think

Drunkeness does not excuse this behavior. If he was so drunk as to lose all his inhibitions then he was to drunk to perform. Thus he was not that drunk to know right behavior from wrong behavior and made a choice using alchohol as an excuse for that choice. Now you have to make a choice as well. Do you throw away four years or do you seek to save your relationship. If you decide to walk away then this is easy, tell him you are done that his behavior has done irreparable harm, that you wish him luck in the future and that it is over. It will hurt for a while, make no mistake. Any relationship that ends in a betrayal hurts, but don't let it make you bitter. There are good men in the world and they are worth waiting for. If you decide to stay you will need to change the rules of the game and he will need to invest as much, even more than you do. First he needs to re-earn your trust. This means that you need to tell him specifically what no longer works for you, if that means no more nights out with the guys drinking and partying without you, then tell him so. If he can't live with that he will have to walk away at that point. If he drinks on a regular basis maybe it is that he needs to quit drinking entirely, tell him this. Whatever it is that you want from him tell him and then he will need to decide whether he can meet your demands. The one thing it isn't right now is a two way street. There is one other thing you need to demand right now. 1. A full spectrum STD Test If you are sexually active with your boyfriend, stop until you get the results. Some STD's remain dormat for a incubation period so you may be safe if he caught anything. But both of you need to go get tested since he cheated. I know that this is a horrible thing to think of but it is one of the risks of non-exclusivity and cheating. Finally, if this is someone that you were considering as a long-term commitment. Stop until he proves that he can be trusted. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone deserves forgiveness for these mistakes if they learn from them and are willing to make changes to their behavior. Don't nag don't scream don't yell. Just tell him what it will take to earn your trust and forgiveness. If he wants it and is willing then he will do it. If not move on. Good luck.