Does your mom call you a lot?

@AnnaB7 (757)
United States
July 4, 2008 10:08pm CST
Mine calls me a lot, like several times a day every day, and she says the same things over and over and over and over. Is this normal behaviour in you opinion or should I suspect something is wrong with her? I wonder if anyone else has a parent that constantly keeps asking them the same things over and over, unanswerble type questions or questions that have already been answered? Maybe I should be concerned that she has some sort of dememtia or mental illness?
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9 responses
• United States
5 Jul 08
My mother and I spend hours on the phone every day ... I have a cell phone and 4 battery's...We talk any where from 3 to 8 hours every day some times even more one battery at a time LOL!!!And we talk about the same thing every day but we always make sure we say that we love each other at the end of the day.... My mother told me that she does it because she is so lonely... And I'm the only one she can truly trust in her life.... Mine told me that she was wonting to move closer tome so that she would not feel so lonely any more.... But we live about 45 minutes away from her so she and I talk on my phone a lot... just so that she feels safe .... And not so lonely... She could also do it because she loves you and wonts to keep in touch her.... I hope this helps... J.M
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@AnnaB7 (757)
• United States
5 Jul 08
it does help in a way, my mother has always been the controlling type though so maybe it is because she makes me tense that some things get on my nerves a lot, she asks me over and over the same things especially about a particular subject that I can't answer, and I have told her I will tell her as soon as possible.
2 people like this
• United States
6 Jul 08
My mother does me the same way some times ... i just don't pay her any mind she soon forgets what she asked me any way.... Maybe she just needs to know more than ever that you are always going to be there for her... And that to hear your voice comforters her and she feels better just taking to you.... Maybe it is that she feels closer to you that way too.. J.M
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@AnnaB7 (757)
• United States
6 Jul 08
You are probably right, and I should not mind that she wants to play twenty questions over and over and over and over and over again. Even it it does get nerve racking at times, I do try to be nice and not hurt her feelings but sometimes she really does upset me with the things she says, so I just need to remember that she has spent a long time getting to where she is now, and it is unlikely she even is aware that she does cause me grief at times because of the way she acts or says things. Maybe she will be blessed with lots of close friends when she moves, that will help her have an outlet for some of the things she wants to talk about to me that I really do not want to talk about.
2 people like this
• United States
6 Jul 08
my mom does call me alot but thats becuase we are best friends and we talk about everything with each other. but as for you mom if you are concerned then i would have her checked better safe then sorry.
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@AnnaB7 (757)
• United States
6 Jul 08
That would be hard for me to do it is unlikely I could get her in to see a doctor and I don't know her doctors, maybe she is just liking to talk I don't know.
1 person likes this
@k9krazy (15)
• United States
6 Jul 08
I don't think that your mom's behavior is "normal", and I don't think that you should ignore it. If the conversation were more two-sided, that would be normal. But from your descriptions and comments, it seems that for the most part, the conversations are a bit strange, not always welcome, and that your mom is having difficulties with reality and/or memory. If she's lonely, then it's an extreme that needs to be addressed. But it could also be signs of an aging illness, depression, or other significant mental health or medical issue. Perhaps you could suggest a doctor's appointment and go along with her? Does she recognize her behaviors when you point it out to her? My grandmother exhibited similar symptoms in the last years of her life. She was clinically depressed and her behavior ultimately became spiteful, mean, and guilt-producing, which eventually alienated several family members. It was very sad, and I often wish she would have agreed to get help when she was asked to.
@AnnaB7 (757)
• United States
6 Jul 08
My mother is depressed I am sure, and she has already allienated most of her family and friends, but she will not agree to see anyone about it, because she does not think she has a problem she thinks it is everyone else, also thateveryone else is the reason for her problems, she can be difficult, I wish she were not so spiteful, but she is, and she does try to make you feel guilty over things that you have no control over like things that happened years ago that can not be changed things that can not be changed or anything done about that are recent, anyway maybe she will get better one of these days but I don't know she has always been sorta like this.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164450)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Jul 08
annab7 do not be too quick to judge her as senile because believe me us old ladies do get just plain lonely and no 'we are not senile. i have an iq of 150 and am alert and active and not senile at all and am 81. but sometimes yes I' get lonely and if I had a daughter I would probably phone her each day. I live with my son and thus I am hardly ever that lonely but I can see why she might phone you a lot. Another thing, I have excellent hearing, but my best friend has one ear that is deaf.maybe your mom has a hearing problem and that is why she asks the same questions over and over, thats a physical problem not mental and can be fixed. have her checked for hearing prolems.
@AnnaB7 (757)
• United States
6 Jul 08
I don't believe she has a hearing problem, she likes to ask the same questions over and over and over to see if someone will say something different. She has always been manipulative, and she has always been a very controlling person, she has always caused me problems when I have ever disagreed with her in any way over any thing, So now I really just don't say much to her, I just let her talk, and talk, and try to not say anything that I know she will find offensive, she disagrees with me on everything from marriage to child discipline, education, to bills, jobs to welfare, staying home to going places, doctors, hospitals, medical care, religion, politics, etc, etc, The one main thing she wants to know right now is when there will be a trial for the person who killed my son, and I have told her every single time I have heard anything and I have told her exactly what I have heard, but still she asks me the same thing over and over, and asks me if I think the courts will do anything, and I have to just keep telling her that I don't really know because I don't and her asking me a million times over will not make me know something I don't. She also wants to talk to me about the feelings of the person who killed my son about how he is suffering and all kinds of things like that, and she just wants to keep on and on. and it is not good it makes my husband angry, he does not say anything to her because he knows she is just upset but it causes him a great deal of grief, Then she calls me up and tells me that she someone (an unnamed someone) called her and told her I was crying, when i wasn't. Then she even called my doctor and told him that all I did was sit around and cry, and I don't I never cry, she even called me the other night and told me she heard I was crying because one of my children is fixing to go to Iraq, when that is not true, I was not crying and I have not been, she over exaggerates many things and she tries to make people thing that I just cry all the time or something, I am more likely to go to sleep or just stay home away from people when something bothers me than to cry because I don't cry like she seems to think, and it bothers me sometimes that she wants to constantly try to say that I do, I mean the one time I let her come with me to have a baby, she was constantly asking me if I was hurting yet or if I did not think I needed something for pain, and I was not even in labor yet, the doctor was trying to induce labor, after she finally went home though I did go into labor and I had the baby within a very short period of time, and no I did not cry during labor either, or afterwards, instead my lungs started filling up with fluid, I could not of cried if I would of wanted to I was too busy trying to breath,Lol not really funny it was very difficult, but I was fine after the doctors gave me oxygen and turned the bed upside down or at least that is what it felt like. lol My mother is just a really difficult person at times, and I over look a lot of things she does because I know she had a very hard life, and she really does not know any better, also my mother never finished school, and when I have suggested that she might take a class or two at the college, she has said that she would not want to do that, she is very superstitious, and that is another point of contention, Anyway, I just have to accept that she can get to be overwhelming at times but she has always been, I do wish though she lived in a better area, than she does, and that she had a good friend or two that she felty comfortable talking to, it would be good if she would just get married to someone who would be good to her I think.
• United States
7 Jul 08
my mom is the same way she cant hear you very well at all .. But she can not afford hearing aids.... It makes it very hard on her .. If I had the money I could help her myself but I'm on disability myself and she makes more than me ... I pray for help every day for her.... J.M
1 person likes this
@AnnaB7 (757)
• United States
7 Jul 08
Hopefully your mom will be okay. Maybe one of these days you will have enough income to help your mom more. I can not help my mother because that I have no income at all,
• United States
1 Dec 08
my mom used to call me alot but now that she has learned to text now she dont call unless thereis somethig wrong and she dont want to shock me in a text message. but we still have a close relationship as far as that goes
1 person likes this
@Zorrogirl (1481)
• South Africa
27 Aug 08
i see my mom everyday, and sometimes she does the same. i often dont know how to handle it. it seems as though it happens more with your mom. i think its a little extreme but still kind of normal.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Aug 08
my mother and i talk very often... almost everyday but she isnt doing what you said yours is doing.. but my MIL is kinda like that.. she will call or email just to tell us the same things over and over... kinda like she forgot she told us... even when we see her she does it in person also.. we are starting to worry about her a little... so it might be a good idea to call her dr and see if there is something that might be going on with her health... but then again it could just be old age...
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@metschica25 (5407)
• United States
11 Jul 08
My mom doesnt call me as much as I would like . My gram used to call my mom each and everyday after she was done watching her soaps . When I talk to my mom she will sometimes say the same thing over and over , but we do talk for a good few hrs . I dont think you have anything to worry about .
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@gapeach65 (805)
• United States
11 Jul 08
My mom used to call me once a week, just to check in with me, she did seem to call m,ore than that if something was wrong and she didn't want to "bother" me, so she wouldn't tell me, unless I asked her. I was always willing to take her to the doctor if she felt she needed to or if myself or one of my sisters suggested it. (My mom passed away in February 2007). I think if it's not normal behavior for her, it may be worth checking into. If you live close, you could also stop in and see if she's acting different. I hope you'll keep us posted.
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