Is getting married a necessary requirement for a fulfilled life?

Philippines
July 12, 2008 7:29am CST
Hi. i am just wondering. i am still single and trying to move up in my career. I am not married and most of my friends and co workers are. they find it weird that i am still single. sometimes, it makes me feel bad that i am...LOL.... i am thinking of it, in a couple of years or so... but not just now. what do you think? is being single deemed as a failure?
12 people like this
43 responses
@rsa101 (15574)
• Quezon City, Philippines
17 Jul 08
Well I think its not a necessity if you don't feel the need for getting into one. But being married, especially if you got the right partner in life really helps a lot especially when the times comes when your sick and needed attention you will really appreciate you're married. It's not a failure but as an individual we are supposed to be married to someone to be our partner in life. But if you are not just being ready and you still enjoy your single life then go for it.
• Philippines
17 Jul 08
thanks for the response. yup, no man is island. sometimes, it can get lonely being a single... and other times, i am thankful that i dont have complications in life...brought about marriage life...LOL.... sigh
1 person likes this
@AshleyHasan (1024)
• India
16 Jul 08
Yes getting married is a necessary requirement for a fulfilled life but take your own time to select your partner because if you just hurry up and get married with tom and harry later you have to suffer for life long your friends or collegues will not be any help to you, listen to every one but do what your mind and heart says thats what I feel take your time and get married to the person who loves you and enjoy your marriage life.
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
thanks for the reply. happy mylotting
1 person likes this
@narayan2006 (2955)
• India
16 Jul 08
In my opinion,fulfillment of life is independent of one's marital status. It has nothing to do with one's gender,age,wealth and income.It comes from within one'self and one has to seek fulfilment by deeply understanding oneself and one's purpose of life.One can be fulfilled by analysing one's own life's goal and ought to seek to live in a surrounding and in a circle of relationship that supports/facilitates in acieving it.Desires are endless and achieving all desires in a short span of life is impossible,whether one is married not married.Perfect fulfilment of life is simply infeasible. Life continues for ever,birth after birth ,in running after false mirage of desires.
3 people like this
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
thanks for the reply. happy mylotting
1 person likes this
@fjgamer (543)
• United States
14 Jul 08
Nice topic. I think marriage is totally pointless. It's like a compliment, saying "I love you more than anyone else," and it will never be required to lead a good life, but my opinion shouldn't stop you from getting married.
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
thanks for the reply. happy mylotting
1 person likes this
@wooitsmolly (3613)
• United States
12 Jul 08
Of course I don't think being single is a "failure"! I know my purpose here is not to get married. I don't have any intentions of doing so in my life, and trust me, I'm a super star! People who think it's "weird" to stay single need to mind their own business. What do they care? Just because not everyone is like them, doesn't mean their choices are more "right" than anyone else's.
@singerja (106)
• United States
13 Jul 08
I think that it is a personal choice. I was married then got divorced. I was divorced for 14 years before I met my husband. During that time I had retired from one job and took up another totally differnet one. I have lots of friends and was very happy being alone. Funny thing is that my now husband lived in the same neighborhood and we happened to meet. The really neat thing about it is that after 14 years of being alone I was at peace with my life and he was at peace with his. We both however realized how much we enjoyed being together and one thing lead to another and we decided that we would be happier being together, so we got married. I could not be happier. My point is however, if we hadn't met I would have been perfectly content and feel fulfilled living my life as a single woman. I think it is all a matter of what is in your mind. I, personally, did't pay much attention to what others thought. I was too busy living my life.
• Philippines
16 Jul 08
hi there. thanks for the response.
1 person likes this
@SaintAnne (5453)
• United States
24 Aug 08
I do not think that a woman being and staying single should be deemed a failure. The romantic and "fulfillment" notion of marriage has come a long way from marrying for property rights and economic reasons. Also, marriage is defined differently across cultures and time. As a 28 year-old Filipino woman, I've also been asked numerous times when I am getting married. After a while, the questions get annoying. I guess our society is used to having the women marry around their mid-twenties and anything past that, you get raised eyebrows or tsk-tsk's. I have been with my boyfriend for more than five years and we have discussed getting married. I should admit that in our second year together, I was hoping he would propose already but now, I'm relieved that he hasn't yet. Now that he's hinting at the so-called plan of union, I told him to wait until I get my own life set on track. I want to be completely happy with my own personal choices and I still have a lot of goals to reach. Too bad that we grew up in a society that makes women feel bad about enjoying single life. Not having a husband past the "normal" age shouldn't be frowned upon or as you mentioned, "found weird". I respect marriage and married people. I look forward to getting married someday but it has its own time. I just don't want society forcing it on us and making us feel ashamed, inadequate and incomplete. PS - You should check out the SATC episode "A Woman's Right to Shoes".
@relundad (2311)
• United States
12 Jul 08
You can't imagine how many times I have been told that exact same thing. I am 42 and have never been married. I love my life and always have. I am not against marriage, I just never found anyone that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I have been in some wonderful relationships but none that I wanted forever if that makes sense. I was able to graduate college with 2 degree's, I worked in corporate America for many years. I own my own successful business now and I am the proud mother of 1 son. I am a real estate investor as well. I have traveled all over the country and a few place outside of the country. My son has been in private school all of his life. We have a very happy and fulfilling life. I love my life! I believe that you can have a happy life with or without a partner, its up to you. I never wanted to be one of those people that got married because they felt they were at a certain age, or because they were being pressured by others to be like everybody else. Or those people that married the wrong person because they got pregnant. Or they married a person that was not equally matched in most area's with them. If and when I get married I plan on being married for life. So until I can see myself with someone forever, I wont get married. Life is what YOU make of it. Another person in your life doesn't guarantee happiness. Find out who you are and what you want out of life. If YOU can fulfill those requests then go for it. Maybe somewhere in the process life with bless you with a lifetime companion, if not live life like there is no tomorrow...to the fullest!
2 people like this
• Philippines
16 Jul 08
hi there. thanks for the response. some friends told me to get a life... LOL... what advise can u give me? thans..heehe
@relundad (2311)
• United States
16 Jul 08
Just live your life to the fullest, holding nothing back. Maybe somewhere in the process life will bless you with a lifetime partner if thats what you want. Just don't be pressured by someone else's opinion.
2 people like this
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
thanks for the assurance.. i am now in the middle of reassessing my life. take care. mwah
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
for me, it is not really a failure to be single for life, but i personally would be happier if ill have someone to share my life with. im almost 25 and im also still single, with my friends getting married left and right. no worries, i still believe that the right man will come at the right time. just sit tight and let fate do the works. :)
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
thanks for the reply. happy mylotting
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
hello. getting married is not a requirement to be fulfilled in your life. i know many people that are single yet happy and fulfilled in their life. being married is another phase in ones life. if you are not whole as a person, with so much excess baggage, and you get married just because you want put the missing puzzle in your life, then you are wrong. you marry because you want to share your life to another person for the rest of your life. Happiness doesnt depend on your civil status but the contentment and joy you feel inside.
2 people like this
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
hi.. thanks for saying that.. now i have many things to ponder and think about. how are you today? happy mylotting
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
17 Jul 08
Well shiloh, like most Asian countries girls who are near 30 wiil face pressure into marriage. I was pressured into marriage when I was 34. Had a quick divorce as it was a forced marriage with lots of abuse,adultery and was finally abandoned by ex husband. He never supported me or our son. What about all those wicked ex employer and colleagues who pressured me into marraige? Did they bother to help me when I became a single mother? They could not be bothered. Sometimes I think of remarriage but I have never fall in love. Now the present colleague I have are against remarriage. Well I have learnt my lesson and I could not care less about their opinions. I know they are jealous of my youthful personality and I tell them off. After all they are not paying my bills or giving me any kind of support. I leave everything to God. Do not think you are a failure just because you are still single. Oprah Winfrey never married, a single woman is one of the richest woman in USA. So when you colleagues look down on you for being single tell them off that Oprah Winfrey never married and she is one of the most successful woman in this world. When you are rich you don't have to worry about being alone in your old age.
2 people like this
• Philippines
17 Jul 08
hi thanks for the response... yup, they are always very judgmental regarding this... and i live in Southeast Asia. most of my friends, colleagues, and cousins are already married... LOL... i feel left behind...LOL... but you have a point...why force something that is not God's timing yet, right? happy mylotting
1 person likes this
@jesbellaine (4157)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
Hello There! FOr me, marriage or getting into a relationship is not a requirement to have a fulfilled life. It is a person's decision whether he/she wants to be married or single. As long as the person is happy and satisfied with his life then that is fine. We can be happy in every decision we make in our life, we just have to "know" what we want in our life. Cheers!
2 people like this
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
thanks for the reply. happy mylotting
@luvjabb (58)
• United States
13 Jul 08
Hi, theres nothing wrong with being single .The pepole that make you fell bad about it,probley wish deep down that they had your freedom to what you want when you want.If your happy thats all that matters.When its time it will happen!
2 people like this
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
thanks for the reply. happy mylotting
@SHAMRACK (8532)
• India
13 Jul 08
Dear friend, I do hope marriage is necessary and other important part I hope is marrying the right person at right time is more necessary it depends entirely on those couples who get married and also opinions from those who could well analyse you is also better in selection of right person.
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
thanks for the reply. how true. happy mylotting
13 Jul 08
marriages are made in heaven and what do here is the final execution so every person is bonded with someone but there r some cases where we see no bond they feel bit depressed when they see that the surrounding (i mean his friends ) is being bonded . so we should not worry because in these matters we can't do anything it is not in our hands so we have to wait for the right time. try to get expose to a to bigger friends circle and u may get any one of your choice and she may be your right partner another most important thing is that we should not hurry in these matters becoz we do it once in lifetime and otherwise we will have to suffer lifetime .
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
thanks for the reply. happy mylotting
• Malaysia
13 Jul 08
Hi,there~ in my opinion if you is still in single you no need to think about married.married is one thing for two lovers have their same life ideal,or something same to make them can live together.if you are still single,juz keep an eye to the other men/women to search your true love.but you like to be single,juz keep it up!Single have it goods also then in a relationship.Hope this can help u^^
2 people like this
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
thanks for the reply. happy mylotting
@rowzhie (83)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
I personally don't think it's a requirement. I am single too and I am having the time of my life. Getting married/ having your own family will come in the future so better be prepared for it -- and while preparing, don't forget to enjoy life being single. ^_^
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
thanks for the reply. thanks for reminding me. happy mylotting
• United States
13 Jul 08
naw dont worry about it.. you need to make yourself happy and fulfilled then if you chose to marry later on then you'll have a better relationship because you will be sure of yourself and not searching for some one else to confirm your identity.. i am happy that i got married but i wasnt looking for it when i met my hubby.. some relationships fall apart after they get married because people just freak out and start marrying each other because they want kids or are afraid of being old maids and etc.. i say have fun and if your meant to get married it will hit ya when the right person asks
2 people like this
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
thanks for the reply. happy mylotting
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
Well, there is nothing wrong to be single. Do not let people manipulate you by telling you to have someone in your life. You should not force yourself because in the end your the one who will get hurt if the relationship did not work out. You are not failure it just happens that you did not found someone yet but when the right time comes everything will be ok. Do not be sad, life goes on
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
thanks for the reply. happy mylotting
@alindahaw (1219)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
I don't think so. A lot of people feel that they can live without getting married or having a partner. Being fullfilled has many definitions. Different people find fullfillment in different things. Although there are a lot of people out there who believe that they can't feel complete without a family, there are also a lot of people who are content with living on their own and doing the things that they like.
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
thanks for the reply. happy mylotting
• United States
13 Jul 08
No Shiloh you're not a failure. The fact is marriage is a choice. If you're still single more power to you. Nobody has to marry in life until they are ready to do so. If you're focusing on your career excellent! Good job and hope that you do succeed! The time will come when you meet the right person in life! So you call the shots, you make the decision, when you're ready to find a partner and get married you will know when. Now to those that think you're weird because you're still single forget them that's their problem and not yours. You have potential and power to do whatever you want.
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
thanks for the reply. how true. happy mylotting
• United States
13 Jul 08
Truthfully, most people might just be envying the fact that you are single. If you aren't lonely and feel satisfied with your life, don't let what others think bother you. I've been married twice and don't recommend it.
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
thanks for the reply. im sorry to hear that. happy mylotting