absent father

July 13, 2008 3:23pm CST
my 6month old had not been visited by her father since she was 4 weeks old. Every so often he will text me and ask can he take her for the day. I explain to him that he is a stranger and that i would not be comfortable just to hand her over. I dont think it would be fair on her. Shes been with me 24 hours a day since she was born, and has numerous allergys resulting in her having to carry antihistimines with her constantly. If she was to come into contact with eggs she could end up having to be rushed to hospital. I did tell the father that once i was happy that she was happy in his company then i would be happy to let him take her for the day, this resulted in him accusing me of just wanting to keep her to myself and that at the end of the day he is the father. I have been the one keeping in touch with him, sending photos and letting him know of her progress. I dont know what else i can do? Im thinking of asking him if he would like to meet us in the local park, but the last time i asked him that he just replied that it wasnt me he wanted to see. What should i do? Carry on trying to encourage him? Cut all ties completely? Im exhausted.
1 response
soooobored
@soooobored (1184)
• United States
13 Jul 08
I don't want to be nosy, so don't respond if it's too personal, but what were the conditions of the break-up between you two? It sounds like he might be worried that you are making seeing you a condition of seeing his daughter. If that were the case, would there be a relative of yours or his that could act as an intermediary?
lilchili
@lilchili (4)
•
16 Jul 08
we dated a few years ago,not for long. Hes a dishonest person who dosent think any woman is good enough for him. I didnt see him for about a year then he just started showing up at my door at all hours, abviously just to use me and i still had feelings for him. when i told him i was pregnant he told me to have a termination, which i would never dream of doing. We didnt really talk again until my baby was born,mostly because he only texted me to tell me of how wonderful his holidays where (he'd been on a few) i dont know anything about his family and the only person that we both know is my brother and he dosent want involved in it.
soooobored
@soooobored (1184)
• United States
17 Jul 08
That's a shame. He definitely hasn't earned any rights to his child, and being a parent is more than just donating sperm! However, if he has a genuine desire to become a part of her life, you guys should find a compromise that works. Your idea to meet in a park is ideal, if he's unwilling to take it, he's probably not willing to work hard enough in the long run! Good luck!