Isn’t it odd?
July 18, 2008 4:25pm CST
I find it interesting how stereotypes go, and I’m not quite sure if anyone else has come to some of the same conclusions. I’ve found that if a person is too shy or quiet, he or she is considered to be on drugs; if a person is too outgoing or outspoken, he or she is stuck on himself or herself. We all know that isn’t really the case all the time, but it’s so easy to label someone the minute we see them for the first time! Have you come to the same conclusions? What other common stereotypes do you observe on a normal basis? We’re only human, so it’s common and quite easy to judge by first appearances. We’re quite good at having someone all figured out before we even meet them! (LOL) I’ve been wrong so many times myself. As a real-life example, my now sister-in-law-to-be (brother’s fiancé) used to be stuck up in my eyes when I first met her because she’s such an outgoing person who’s very confident and comfortable with herself. After getting to know her, I realized how wrong I was! She’s one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met and one of my best friends. I can’t wait for her and my brother to get married. My question is, have you labeled people before? If so, what was the case? Were you wrong or are you good at figuring people out before you meet them? Please share your experience with these stereotypes as I’m interested to find out more about them.
19 Jul 08
JJ I agree that we too soon become judgmental, be it human, any shopping brands or any institutions. We come across one wrong incident and we have had it. We mark it as the 'good' or 'bad' one!! Even I do it, seldom though. For instance, people kind of take my soft spokeness, my shyness as my weakness. You really have to be harsh and sometimes rude and outspoken to make your point or to have things your way. That's sad! Gone are those days when courtesy were chivalrous and good manners! People misjudge me at the first go and think that I am a snob, proud girl who wouldn't talk to anyone and everyone and some others think, my gentleness is the reflection of my low self esteem. But when they come closer and get to know me well they realise their wrong interpretations. Many have confessed this to me, like you have just done about your SIL. Smiles... PS: This is a great topic!!
• United States
22 Jul 08
Thanks, Mimpi. You’re such an inspiration to me, and what a beautiful response! I can understand why your shy personality and other things about would cause others to judge you wrongly, but I believe everyone should be given a chance. I’ve mentioned it before, but what a shame it’d be for someone to judge someone else who could’ve been their best friend someday. From now on, I’ll always give people the benefit of the doubt. If I think they’re stuck up, so be it until I can meet them personally and prove they really are that way. At that point, after I’ve met them and know what they’re like, it’s at that time I have a right to say whether or not I’d pursue a friendship. I wish we weren’t like this, but all of us have admitted to doing this at one point. It was really heavy on my heart the day I posted this discussion because of how many times I’ve been wrong. I didn’t post this to make myself feel better, but it really does help knowing there are others out there who have judged and been judged. I really appreciate how you included your personal experiences as well. No one deserves to be stereotyped like that. I’m also glad my sister-in-law-to-be ended up being such a sweet person! I’m very excited to be related to her soon. However, I don’t want to be guilty of doing this stuff anymore! Who knows how many possible friendship I could’ve had if I’d stopped this early on in life. Thanks again for your encouragement and inspiration. It’s great to hear from you and to receive your outlook on this topic. Take care and keep up the good work, my friend!
19 Jul 08
Hi JJ4Ever, I usually don't comment on people because I consider that many situations would have forced them in to an activity and it is wrong on our part to comment about them.And in my opinion nobody can figure out somebody without meeting them and doing so is defenitely odd. Good Luck.
• United States
22 Jul 08
It definitely is odd or if it’s common nature to someone to judge people at first appearances, it’s not a good start to a possible friendship they could have with that person. It’d be a shame for them to ruin their chances by steering clear of someone just because of how they act, dress, talk, or whatever. I like your attitude toward the subject and wish more people were like you because I know it’s easy to look at someone and wonder why they do what they do. However, your perspective is to look at them with a compassionate heart to think deeper as to what would cause them to do such things. Of course, there are also people out there who we’d consider “normal” as well. There are such a variety of people out there, which causes this world to be such an interesting and diverse place. We ruin it when we assume everyone should act, dress, talk, and think alike all the time. I speak of society in general because I know so many people who would rather die than be friends with someone they didn’t have a good first impression of. I’ve been there and done it; I won’t deny that fact, but your response has really encouraged all of us, I believe, to no longer be guilty of falling into this rut. Thanks for your inspiration. I don’t think people should judge or stereotype others either. How would we feel when other people would judge us? I like your thinking. Keep up the good work, my friend.
18 Jul 08
Oh my word I have got people so so wrong in the past, when I started going to a play group type thing I thought several of the people were stuck up and up themslves and thought they were to good for people like me, well it turns out I was wrong and I am now friend with them. Its like my sons girlf (he's 5 bless), when he told me who his girl was and I saw her mum I thought 'oh no, she is so so snobby', however eventually we got to know each other and I realised she was like that she was just shy and so funny, she does give the impression she is posh but she isn't! I'm very judgemental at times and really I shouldn't be but just can't help it anyway first impressions aren't always right!!! I actually told one of my friend the other week after we'd had a few drinks my initial thoughts of her, she was fine with it and we are still friends but she has been hurt badly in the past and gives of the 'closed' impression if you understand! I love it when you get people wrong and really they are nice when you think they are not.
• United States
22 Jul 08
Wow, great response! Thanks a bunch. Reading your post makes me feel so much better because of how many times I’ve mistakenly done this. I agree that it’s a relief when our first impressions are wrong, and the particular person we’ve misjudged is really very kind. Now that you mention it, I also told my sister-in-law-to-be what I thought of her in the beginning (once I knew her a little better, of course!), and she laughed because so many people have said the same thing. She’s just extremely outgoing and very confident with herself and really has no reason not to be. I feel very lucky now that she’s going to marry my brother! (LOL) So yes, I definitely like it when we’re wrong, but at the same time I’d rather not be so bad about judging people! I know it’s only human nature, but it still bothers me that so many people I’ve wrongly judged (in my mind without voicing my opinion, thankfully) have become such good friends of mine. Of course, you have the other end of the spectrum, too, which is thinking someone is sweet and kind, and they’re really just a jerk who mooches off you! I don’t like that either. A happy medium is nice. For instance, I guess I think I’m a pretty easy person to understand because I’m more of a “what you see is what you get” individual. I enjoy getting to know others like that because there’s a lot less to figure out about them! Of course, if you like the mysteriousness about figuring someone out, then that might not be so good! (LOL) You’re right – first impressions are awful most of the time! Thanks for your genuine response. I really enjoyed reading because your experiences are very similar to mine! Take care and have a great day.