Just asking, be honest...
@sweetbarbie22 (304)
Philippines
July 23, 2008 10:28pm CST
Yes,we are modern and everybody would agree that boys and girls now are equal. But, you see even if it's true, still we hold to this notion that when it comes to relationship, boys should be the first or the one to make the first move when it comes to courtship. What can you say? is it okay if girls will be the one to court you or get your attention or you still prefer that you'll be the one to do such. How about you girls? if you really like him, are you that gutsy enough to make the first move or just the usual, wait till he notice you?
5 people like this
15 responses
@fjgamer (543)
• United States
24 Jul 08
From my male perspective, when a girl courts me, it's considered sexy (again, from my perspective, what I like), but people do seem to frown upon how I'm never the aggressive one in a relationship, and people constantly question my sexuality. A few years ago, I dawned long hair as my new appearance, which didn't help me escape the jokes about my gender.
@tigertang (1749)
• Singapore
24 Jul 08
Hey, I know exactly how you feel. My mother and sister often get upset with me because I'm often quite passive when it comes to the pick-up lines. I like being the centre of attention and it seems strange but I usually like girls who make the move on me. Both mother and sister keep reminding me that society is such that men are supposed to be hunters and women like being hunted and only hunt then they're really desperate, which is not a good sign.
But I guess I'm strange. Its like I feel that when people come to me, I'm in the superior position, whereas if I goto people, I'm the one in need. As a self-employed person I get used to going to other people. I'm still at the stage where my need to be employed on a project is still greater than the other guy's to employ me, and so I do the chasing.
So it just feels so good to be the object of someone elses affections for a change. I mean if you spend the rest of your day chasing, its nice to be chased for a change. It's nice when someone tries to impress you, it makes one feel wanted and important in life. I mean don't see this as an esteem thing, just a need to be on the other side of the equation for a change.
@yenwie84 (1344)
• Malaysia
24 Jul 08
As a girl,I think if I have found someone who I really interested in,I will approach that guy. But one thing I want to make sure is he also has the same feeling towards me. If the guy does not like me,even I like him, I don't think I will be the first one who approach him. I will just forget about it. In this modern world now, I don't think we cannot always expect boys to be the first one who begin the courtship. Girls can also grab their own love. It's nothing wrong about this.
@academic2 (7000)
• Uganda
25 Jul 08
I think modern ladies are getting more assertive, yet inspite of this assertiveness, it is still considered unusual for a lady to go about doing the proposing-even in tradtional societies where women have to wait for a hand in marriage, the girls say I love you to the boys of their hearts before the boys do, but they do it discreetly-by way of body language and expression of emotions-yet I feel no matter how modern we become, having a woman to propse to a man first time is quite strange, especially here in Africa.
@underdogtoo (9579)
• Philippines
25 Jul 08
I don't like to be pursued and I stay away from girls who are too aggressive. I prefer to be the pursuer. If a girl likes me she can give a hint to someone who is sure to tell me that she likes me and I will surely check her out.
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
2 Aug 08
I'd be okay with it. If pressed for more of an answer I'd have a slight preference for this approach. Though the societal mindset is changing where I'm at, there is indeed some expectation that men approach women instead of the other way around.
@Kemboi (341)
• Eldoret, Kenya
25 Jul 08
Even since creation men or to commence on their wife just like the way Adam did to his wife Eve. Men are to make the first step in approach. They feel joy when digging or hunting for you girls. Any girl who used to be too lose for me was a questionable to me I would ask myselve, 'why this girl is too cheap like this? That brings alot of question marks in my mind. In my culture one can train two type of dogs one for keeping the cattle, and the other one for hunting so even if I don't go for hunting and my dog was taken to do hunting and if it happen it killed the pre like antelope or any other animal which can be eaten by human beings, I tell you I'll be brought one full leg of the meat and other parts for the one who killed and that is the dog, that is a must. So men are to do hunting they are the ones to look for which girl to befriend, and they are also selfish whenever they see a girl who is outgoing already you'll be looked down so be limited in outgoing or else you will be overtaken by events.
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
24 Jul 08
Honestly, we (women) still do not have the equality that we so desire. If a woman was to ask a man on a date, it would still be consider inorthodox. If a woman gets in front of a man's face and chews him out, that woman is considered a witch with a "b". My boyfriend was so shy when we met, I had to write out my feelings in my notebook just to get him to see my true feelings for him. He saw it, and responded. We have been together for 9 months.
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
25 Jul 08
Hello sweetbarbie22,
Yes this is the mordern time and girls are equal to boys, so go for it ask a boy out, I aske my husband to marry me.
Tamarafireheart.
@deemazing (395)
• United States
24 Jul 08
When I was single, I would let a guy know if I liked him, but I wouldn't ask him out. I would always wait for him to do that. I guess I am a little old fashioned when it comes to that. However, I do offer to pay when I'm out with my boyfriend. Not all the time, but sometimes I give him a break. I never make the first move physically.
@soooobored (1184)
• United States
24 Jul 08
When I was single, I would play it by ear. I would strongly PREFER to be asked out first, but I had a tendency to be attracted to the shy, low-key type, and you can wait forever to be asked on a date with that guy!
My rule of thumb has always been, whoever invites is the "boy" of the date, i.e. picking the other person up, picking the activity, and paying the check. And because I never know what the arrangement is if he asks (some guys always just split the check), I would bring enough to cover myself if I needed to. But pretty much that would be the only date with the guy!
I am pretty old-fashioned in a lot of ways, I guess!
@app3ls (63)
• Malaysia
25 Jul 08
I think it's nothing wrong for girls to make the first move.
But, sometimes even if the girl is shy or has no gut to make the first move, probably they will do little actions to attract boy, so that boy "notice" them. Sort of like getting confirmation... Anyway, i think those who don't have the guts to make the first move, are mostly afraid of being rejected. what do u think?
@ktall2013 (4)
• United States
25 Jul 08
Most of the guys that I hang around with or are interested in even in the slightest, are a little bit blindsighted when it comes to things like this. No, I don't mean that in the sense that they are losers. I am a girl, and a do occasionally step up and ask them. It really depends on the personality.
@movicont (495)
• United States
25 Jul 08
Well, I don't really think it matters who courts whom first, as long as they really care about each other. Now personally (and I'm a girl), I'd probably wait for the guy to do the asking, but that's just because my personality is naturally like that. Likewise, if I were I guy, I'd probably wait for an aggressive girl to approach me, so this has nothing to do with gender stereotypes.
@Valenas (1507)
• United States
24 Jul 08
I am a girl. And, I think that if two people really like each other, it should not matter who makes the first move. I think that the first move should be made by the first person that gets "the guts" to do so. I think the only thing that holds most people back these days is tradition. As in, traditionally, it was the guys that asked the girls. But, as I said, I think it shouldn't matter who asks. If I liked someone enough, I would ask them first.
