Not married but have a wedding ring!

United States
August 7, 2008 11:52am CST
Yes, that's what I said! We're not married but my new boyfriend showed up with a wedding ring for me Tuesday! We've talked about it but right now it wouldn't be the thing for us to do since we are both on disability. We practically live together and feel like we are married....and want to be. He even bought himself one . Do you think this is crazy or what? Personally, I'm thrilled and love the idea as do my kids.
7 people like this
27 responses
@howard96h (11658)
• New York, New York
7 Aug 08
If it will affect your and his benefits by getting married then it's not worth it, you both need your incomes. The important tings is that you both are together and care for each other. Congratulations and I wish you both all the best.
2 people like this
• United States
7 Aug 08
The way things are today we have to think financially as well as with our hearts. He is a very generous man but of course there are limits. One day we will get married legally but if we are happy the way we are then so be it.
1 person likes this
@LadyMarissa (12161)
• United States
8 Aug 08
It sounds PERFECT to me!!! It won't affect you financially yet people will just assume you've gotten married & accept you as a married couple. Personally, I think you become married when your hearts join together NOT when you pay some government official to say you're married.
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
7 Aug 08
Wonderful, now here is what to do. Write lots of letters to your congressman or woman, and tell him that you are so much in love with your boyfriend and you want to get married, but if you do you will lose your disability. Mention that you want the security and your children do as well of being a wife, you do not want to just play house because if your boyfriend suddenly got killed in an accident, and if the will were destroyed, you would only get what you put into the relationship, not half the estate and that some relative who you do not like might get it. I am an incurable romantic. I want to see you walk down the aisle, or go in the wheelchair, and get married, have plenty of photos.
• United States
7 Aug 08
I've learned that writing to congressmen and all that gets you no where...believe me! Our kids are adults and he is in the process of fixing everything so I will be ok so there are no worries there for me.
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
8 Aug 08
I thought it would help. blame it on me being an incurable romantic. I was married by the marriage commissioner, what we call the justice of the peace up here, and I always dreamt how wonderful it would be to walk down the aisle.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
7 Aug 08
I think that it's great and that you feel you love one another then you should wear something to symbolize it. Whether your married legally or not, you love one another and wish you were! Good luck in your future with him and have a wonderful day!
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Aug 08
It's the symbolism of our love for each other that means the most to us. We know we will be together for the rest of our lives and eventually will get married. We want everyone to know how happy we are together.
2 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
7 Aug 08
I think that wearing a ring will be a great way to show it! I hope that you will soon be able to wed! Have a great day.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Aug 08
I think that is wonderful.......truly wonderful. I wish a ring was given to me but instead I had to break up with my John yesterday. Take your time, but not too much and do the damned thing. I wish you much success and may God Bless you and your family!
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Aug 08
John meaning my sweetie John (that's his name). I had to clear that up because I didn't want you to think I mean John as in pimp
1 person likes this
@rosedust82 (2074)
• Philippines
7 Aug 08
Aww. That's really sweet of him... Good for you... I don't really find the thought odd because it's a common practice here in our place. I mean, people who are in a relationship would give rings as a sign of well... their undying love. I find it cute that two people would be wearing similar rings. I feel that it somehow takes the relationship to a higher level since it shows more commitment and love. Plus it shows other people how serious you are with each other. Probably the most important thing is that it reassures the other that whatever happens, you're in it together...
• United States
7 Aug 08
We have both been married 2 times when we were younger and obviously neither of us had any luck so the whole ceremony thing with wedding rings didn't mean a thing to someone. This time we are sure this relationship will work out since we are mature adults and know how a relationship should work.
1 person likes this
@kerriannc (4280)
• Jamaica
7 Aug 08
I never in my life know that this would have happen. To me marriage is when two person stand before witness and God to declare their love for each other and the officiating person acknowledge this. If you are comfortable with this then it is good that he see you as the person to spent the rest of his life with. Congratulation is on for you.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Aug 08
So many people live together today and don't make any commitment to each other. We had our own little ceremony and said the things we wanted to say to each other and we both meant every word we said.
1 person likes this
@valeria1 (2723)
• United States
7 Aug 08
Go for it, very happy for you!
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Aug 08
Thank you....we are very happy.
1 person likes this
@cher913 (25890)
• Canada
7 Aug 08
ok, that is just a little weird. why dont you just go to a justice of the peace and make it official? it would be better tax wise anyways if you did.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Aug 08
Yes, there are a lot of reasons why we should make it official but the reasons not to outweigh them.
1 person likes this
@nancygibson (3737)
• France
7 Aug 08
I think its a lovely idea, my partner and I did the same thing after we had been together for a number of years. For us, a wedding would be expensive and unneccessary, so we made private pledges to each other and he made me a ring. After 16 years everyone assumes we are married anyway, we're saving a ceremony for our 21st anniversary!
• United States
7 Aug 08
That sounds like a great idea! Since we are both in our 60's we figure what the heck. Eventually we will have a ceremony and make it legal...lol.
1 person likes this
@nengs10 (3188)
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
That's just good to hear. It's so nice to know that certain couples are very happy and successful together though they are not yet married. Well, to have a wedding ring is something very evident that both of you share a very loving union. Kudos.
1 person likes this
• India
8 Aug 08
Well,marriage is just a formality .. a legal document is trivial compared to the love and companionship which two people enjoy .... its not crazy but touching that you guys hav exchnged rings regardless of marriage .. God BlesS!
1 person likes this
7 Aug 08
It's not that crazy. Sometimes people ten to pretend for someone he has always dreamed of and somewhat give hima feeling of fulfillment.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Aug 08
I think that is a sweet thing to do.. I like that he is a sweet guy and i think that he wants yall to get married... I feel that he is showing you that he loves you by putting that ring on your finger.... I think that he knows that it would be the est thing for yall to get married but i think he wants you to know that he loves you and wants to be with you... I think that is sweet... I love that he just showed up with it.. Does he want you to wear it??? Does he want to get married??? Why is it not a good thing for yall to get married??? I really think that he wants to get married thats why he showed up with the ring or that was his propsal to you.. So i would say that you guys are engaged.. Congrats
1 person likes this
@moneyandgc (3430)
• United States
7 Aug 08
Aww, I don't think it is crazy. I think it is great! My husband and I wore each other's rings before we got married too. We wear different ones now that we are married. You are an adult and can make your own decisions. If this is what is good for you both, I say go for it!
1 person likes this
@OURDEW (4812)
• United States
7 Aug 08
I think it's a very sweet idea. If that's what you both want, I say that's great. When my now husband and I were dating, we wore my grandma's wedding bands. He wore my grandpa's and I wore my grandma's. I still have them, but when we got married we got our own wedding rings.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (28558)
• United Kingdom
7 Aug 08
I think that it is lovely that your boyfriend gave you a wedding ring, how romantic an idea. It shows commitment even without a piece of paper. He bought himself a ring too so he really means it. Yes, it feels like you two are really married. I am glad that you are so thrilled and that your kids are delighted as well. Congratulations. I hope that you both will have a happy future together.
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
7 Aug 08
I am so happy for you, ctry! It's wonderful that you have found a good man to have in your life. I honestly feel that we should take our happiness where we find it. The fact that you are committed to one another speaks volumes. Enjoy life and enjoy each other!
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Aug 08
It is nice and all that your new boyfriend give a wedding ring for you and everything but there something behind the ring....maybe it not a real ring, sometimes men buy those kind of rings that are really cheap from adult stores. And to make a woman happy and shut up. But since you are both on disablity it may be best to be totaly honest and do it legally because when you cheat your state someone has to pay the increased amount so you can have your money, whereas if you are honest maybe you can learn to budget your life with your boyfriend. It depends though if he truly love you or he just using your place to have a place to sleep and eat?
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
8 Aug 08
My my, aren't you judgemental. And cruel to suggest he bought her the ring at an "adult" store just to shut her up and that he is just using her for a place to sleep? Not getting married doesn't always mean the "state is getting cheated." I myself get no help whatsoever from the state so being married would make no difference. And even if it did - are you disabled, or do you even know how hard it is to survive when you are disabled??? I find your response cruel, uninformed, and offensive.
• United States
10 Aug 08
tesswhite....I really don't pay much attention to responses like pioneer2009angel's. Everyone has a right to their opinion and she has hers. I know for a fact that this ring is not a cheap one and none of the other jewelry he has given is either. I didn't ask for a ring....he just showed up with it one day so he didn't have to "shut me up"...lol. As for using me...his apartment is two doors down from mine and is just as nice as mine so he doesn't need a place to sleep or eat!
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
8 Aug 08
It wouldn't be called wedding ring if it is not a ring that is intended for wedding. but who cares no? words are just words. and I think it is sweet that he thought of having one even though you're not yet married. just don't brag much about it, some people may find it crazy.
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
8 Aug 08
You aren't alone. My partner and I have been together 8 years now. I too am on disabilitiy. We also wear wedding rings and are not, nor ever plan to be, married. So no, I don't think its nuts, since we have done the same thing. :)