Is Chivalry dead?
August 11, 2008 5:04am CST
When we hear chivalry, the first thing that would probably come into our minds would be knights in shining armor... Round table. Medieval times. This actually extends up to the modern times (or I think-and hope it still does, hence the question. Lol.) What spurred this question was an incident that happened a couple of nights ago. I was on a bus to work and was able to get the last seat. There was a pregnant woman on her way to work as well and she had to stand because there were no seats left. There was a guy near me and we were all wishing (and sort of expecting) him to be courteous enough to give her a seat. One of the agents in the bus jokingly said out loud to the pregnant woman, "Are you okay standing? I hope someone gives you a seat". The guy heard it and even glanced her way but he just ignored. Imagine my surprise. I was really dismayed at his lack of uhh... courtesy. If it were one of my friends, they would definitely have given her the seat. What I did was I stood up and gave the lady my seat. I (and the other ladies) gave the guy a really nasty look all the way from the terminal to our work place. I asked this question because I see less and less chivalry among men... Not many men helps women get out from a car or at least help them cross the road. Not many men opens the door or let's the lady go first. Correct me if I'm wrong but is chivalry dead? (I hope I don't offend anyone... Lol...) Just asking...
4 people like this
• Czech Republic
11 Aug 08
It is sad that there are less and less people who care to be gallant and attentive nowadays. Lot of women looks surprised, when I let them get my seat or open door for them, let them go ahead in queue somewhere etc. But what is bad, that in fact lot of women are discouraging us from doing it. They look suspicious often. Even lot of my female friends won't let me help them in the coat, and sometimes is almost dangerous to try to help this way to somebody who don't know me. If I pick wrong person to help to, god help me :) There is something wrong with this fast, cold-hearted world.
• United States
11 Aug 08
I agree with you, I think a good part of it is women discouraging men from doing this. I have noticed that the only men who do still open a door for women are normally mid-thirties or older. I for one always say thank you when a gentleman holds a door for me.
12 Aug 08
Heheh... I know... It would also depend on the women. I, for one, prefer the old ways. I find it a very nice gesture whenever I see people (guys in particular) who help others. Like I really find it cute seeing little boys who help old ladies cross the street... or a guy helping a kid to go up the stairs or something... I don't know. Call me old-fashioned but that is how I see it.
11 Aug 08
The days of chivalry are practically over. In this fast world where women fight to get equal importance with men, are actually better than men in a lot of fields, where women and men work shoulder to shoulder, the expectation of men opening doors or helping to cross is out of question. I too always give up my seat to a pregnant lady because we have been there and know what it is to stand with a heavy baby in your stomach. Men usually dont care, or very few do. Id like men to be chivalrious because we look after the house and office efficiently and a little pampering wont hurt.
11 Aug 08
From a male perspective, i believe that chivalry is dying, but not gone. Although i don't have shining armor, unless you classify levi's and a t-shirt as such. I do still hold high my manners and respect for women, and my elders. I would always hold doors open, give up my seat, and generally help out people who need it. I am kinda like a superhero, but without the powers! G
11 Aug 08
Expecting chivalry in our modern age is like wanting to live in a dream world. And no offence meant, but it's also because of how girls have changed as well, as not many are looking for that kind of man anymore, and the guys have (like idiots) changed accordingly to reflect that. Of course there will always be a few like you that will be looking and expecting chivalry from men, and there will always be a few men like me who just like to be helpful in those little circumstances, being courteous, but we are of a dying breed. The reason is also to be looked in the families and the society as well (school and so), where respect is not properly taught anymore, and young people don't really comprehend what it means to live in armony with the others. They just learn and understand that they can do what they please and live with it, because nobody is gonna be there telling them off.
12 Aug 08
yikes... just like what ravenladyj discussed, there are some women who prefer doing things on their own. On my part, yeah, there are times when I prefer that but if there is a guy who goes out of his way to be courteous, I'd always say thank you. It's something that I've always liked seeing in guys.