will you get angry?

Philippines
August 17, 2008 11:30pm CST
If you have found out that you were just adopted by you "parents"? But all of your needs was given to you and you were never treated like an adopted child..I have read a column in a newspaper yesterday he was angry with his "parents" for keeping his real identity secret..he had just found out about this through an accident. if you were in this mans shoe will you get angry? i think he should be grateful that he was treated like a real son..
4 people like this
13 responses
• United States
18 Aug 08
I have to admit, I probably would be a little upset if I found out on my own and not from my parents. Although I guess for some people it might be better that it is just kept a secret, while others it might be better that they know. My boyfriend is actually adopted and his parents made sure he knew from a very young age. He doesn't even consider his adopted parents as his adopted parents. They are his REAL parents, even though they didn't give birth to him. They have had him since the day after he was born as his biological mother gave him up. To my knowledge he wants nothing to do with his biological mother and I don't blame him. He treasures his parents like the should be treasured and his parents treated him and raised him like he was of their own flesh and blood. If your adopted parents truely love you and care for you, they will not treat you like an adopted child, they will treat you as one of their own and no one would be none the wiser that you weren't. In a way I feel this guy had the right to get angry, because it was a pretty big secret that his parents did not tell him, but in the long run he shouldn't be any more angry then a short time. Hopefully with time he realized his parents probably did it in his best interest, and he will forgive them.
• Philippines
18 Aug 08
yes i thin he will overcome it in the future..he have many things to be grateful for..thanks!
1 person likes this
@SangsTurks (1447)
• India
18 Aug 08
I think i would feel bad that my biological parents left me but i would definately be thankful to my parents who adpoted me and gave me whatever i needed,love ,care, clothing,good home, treated me like their own child,gave me a future to look forward too. I think it was very wrong for that man to get angry on his parents who treated him like one of their own. I am sure it would have hurt their sentiments after years of care and love that they have given him. he is just taking out the anger of his biological parents on them.
• Philippines
18 Aug 08
yeah i do think so too..he just had a displacement of anger..
1 person likes this
@fwidman (11519)
• United States
18 Aug 08
I doubt that it would have bothered me at all. I was raised pretty much by a single mother, and she did the best job she could of being both parents. If she had told me that I was adopted I would probably have shrugged, given her a hug and a kiss and went on with my day
• Philippines
18 Aug 08
that is a good attitude..^_^ there is really no need to be angry..
1 person likes this
@mensab (4208)
• Philippines
18 Aug 08
what will anger do in the situation? it will not change anything. i will simply demand an explanation in a calm manner from my foster parents. why did they not tell it to me? then i will accept their explanation. then i will inquire about my real parents. i would like to trace and see them in person. i will be restless until i am able to meet them. one question will keep on bugging me if i don't ask this, why?
• Philippines
18 Aug 08
i agree with you..anger will not change the fact that you have been adopted..
1 person likes this
• India
18 Aug 08
Hi There, It can be easy to be judgmental when one is not faced with a situation. Instinct says that finding I was adopted would be of lesser significance than contemplating how I was treated by the folks I believed all my life to be my parents. However, one doesn't really know what a person who just discovered his entire life to be based on a lie feels. One doesn't know what goes through the mind of a person whose identity appears to be a pretense to him/her. One doesn't know what it feels like to discover your parents are NOT your parents. It can be frustrating, it can leave an emptiness within, and it can perhaps lead to anger. I do believe I wasn't adopted and I love my parents enough to be thankful it was me...if I ever discovered that I was an adopted child.
2 people like this
• Philippines
18 Aug 08
yes,i will.however,i am sure that i't won't last for long.thus,it will not be a reason for me to disrespecful to them either.it's just an initial reaction for me,but after a thorough analization,i would ask my foster parents for a serious talk.i would surely want their reason for hiding that very important detail of my life from me.from there,i will decide wether i should trace my roots or not.whatever happens,i will still be greatful to them for giving me a family and treating me like their own.most probably,i would be also more appreciative with all the things i have and the love they are giving me knowing that they are not my biological parents.i was an adopted daughter by my aunt,sister of my mother.but i grew up knowing about this because my foster parents made sure i know and i understand it.they love me like their own even though they also have two kids,and my siblings were very kind to me eversinced...heaps my friend!..="^_^"=
2 people like this
@Zelmarq (11509)
• Cebu City, Philippines
20 Aug 08
I will feel bad towards my biological parents and would also feel the same for my adoptive parents, its ok to tell the trth as early as gradeschool coz I know I will soon understand it.
1 person likes this
@neildc (17229)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
19 Aug 08
if my adopted parents had given everything that i need to complete my humanity, if i am loved as their real child, if i don't feel the hunger, if i have the right education, i don't think i will have the anger feelings against them. (neildc @ red/89/1643)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Aug 08
for me if i would know that im an adopted daughter i will still be thankful, though its really hard to accept the fact to be an adopted daughter, but because your so called parents did treat you well, and loved you and cared for you, still you should be very grateful, there are children out there with their true family but not given the attention, love and care... everything happens for a reason... still he had to thank God for somebody loved him until he grew up.. =)
1 person likes this
@jhenn22 (1243)
• Philippines
19 Aug 08
He's reaction is an initial reaction. It is normal as long as at the end he will realize that he is lucky to have this kind of parents. If i were him, i would react the same but i will let them explain why they kept it secret. But of course i wouldn't forget the fact that they treated me as their own. So, its no big deal likewise i would love them more because they gave love more a real parents can give....
@magojordan (3256)
• Philippines
19 Aug 08
Well I might feel betrayed but I won't get angry. I would be grateful that they raised me in a good way. Well I can't blame the kid for not being angry maybe soon he will realize that even though he is only adopted he is still loved and it is really great to have parents that love you.
1 person likes this
@relundad (2312)
• United States
24 Aug 08
I don't know that angry is the term that I would use. But I think that I would have a problem with the fact that I was forced to live a lie. This is no different than any other lie that you were forced to live. Trust me this guy wasn't mad that he was fortunate enough to have a wonderful life despite the fact that he was adopted. He was angry that he had been decieved and had to find out by accident. Who doesn't have the right to know there identity? After all with technology the world can find out your identity, why should it be a secret to you? Why should you be the last to find out?
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
22 Aug 08
MAybe i will get angry too because the chance of finding my real mom is lower as i get older.. NO matter how close an adopted child is to the family, the actual bond between the child and his natural mother can never break.. Thus, it's natural for him to feel angry.. Though they have provide for him since young til now, but all those are just materialistic things even though they are important.. BUT i think he will only be angry for the time being, and he will forgive his adopted parents for bringing him up to where he is today.. I guess he appreciates it too ^_^