Who Is Really To Be Blamed For A Kid's Misconduct?

Singapore
August 20, 2008 8:35am CST
Parents blame Teachers. Teachers blame Parents. Kids on average spend almost half-a-day in school and half-a-day outside of school. When a kid goes astray, picked up bad habits and got into 'bad company', who is to blame?
3 people like this
8 responses
@djoyce71 (2512)
• Philippines
20 Aug 08
Parents are the first teachers of the children. Teachers are their second parents. Friends are their company. Who's really to blame? I guess every influence will be held responsible for what has gone to the child, but parents need to do more to keep their kids safe. This is just my opinion. Good evening.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
20 Aug 08
Yes, I agree that every one who is come into contact with the children is responsible, but the question now is how responsible are them? And how can parents help to protect the child from such irresponsible company? Lock them up ? Probably not.
1 person likes this
@djoyce71 (2512)
• Philippines
21 Aug 08
Keeping the kids safe may not mean locking them up. That's harsh for kids. Parents should think of a way so that they're kids stay away with bad influences. They may let their children engage in activities such as sports, cooking lessons, swimming and other worthwhile activities.
@djoyce71 (2512)
• Philippines
21 Aug 08
Sorry, I used the wrong word 'they're', that should be their.
@sk66rc (4261)
• United States
20 Aug 08
I'd say definitely parents... When a kid is brought up with right value & morals by parents or parental figure, doesn't matter what company they keep, they'll know what to do... I've seen so many disadvantaged kids grows up to make a difference with their lives for the better...
1 person likes this
@cbreeze (1207)
• United States
20 Aug 08
I still say it is the parents responsibility. We all know there will be outside influences on our children. Parenting is a very hands on job. We have to be viligent about making ourselves the primary influence in our childrens lives. You cannot put them on automatic pilot. They have to be taught what is acceptable and what is unacceptable. Of course, they are not robots, they will make mistakes. But it is the parents responsibility to get them back on the right path when they detour off of it. No one said it would be easy, but it's worth it.
1 person likes this
26 Oct 08
I beleive parents 't primarily to blame for their child's misconduct. For a parent to blame a teacher for their own childs misconduct just shows what a bad job of parenting they are doing. A parents job is to teach a child right from wrong. If this was done correctly then the child wouldn't pick up bad habits in the first place and would know to steer clear from the bad crowds. As a mother myself i do my upmost to teach my son right from wrong. If i didn't i couldn't call myself a mother =)
26 Oct 08
I meant to say parents are primarily to blame*
• United States
21 Aug 08
I say that it can be both the teachers and the parents. The reason I think it is both is because when my children (2out of3)started school they really tested their boundaries. I would get a bad note from school so I would ground them well that did not work do i would make them stand in the corner, That did not work, I tried spanking and grounding that did not work, I tried everything and nothing worked. It was like why mind at school I will have fun there and then pay the price at home. I wrote the teacher a note and told her that she was going to have to send my child to the pricipal and maybe even give swats because I had exhausted every means I could at home. the teacher wrote back that they did not like to do that and she would not send her to the principal. So about the third note later I told her I was not signing any more bad notes (I was getting them everyday)that until she did something at her end nothing I was going to do would fix it. That we had been trying for months and that I could do nothing else it was now up to her. finally about a month later she sent her to the principal and guess what she quit getting into trouble after that. I think we as parents have to teach and guide them into taking the right path but we can not always get them to behave when we are not around especially when they just start school. It is all new and if a teacher shows weakness some kids will take advantage of that like mine did. My oldest two are pretty much dream students now my middle child has been a dream student pretty much since he started. He had a couple of instances but nothing really bad. Now if we can just get that youngest one straightened out lol.
• United States
21 Aug 08
oh and I was going to say friends do have some influence over other children’s behavior but that is where we as parents have to teach our children to stand up and do the right thing even if it goes against what their friends say. I also told my son that if his friends kept getting him in trouble maybe it was best to find new friends, but that he was to blame for his own behavior.
@cupkitties (7513)
• United States
18 Oct 08
Yes, it is the parents job to teach the child right and wrong and if they don't, then its their fault. But then there are parent like me who do everything we can to teach and be sure our kids come out with good morals and to treat others with respect and no matter what you have done the child still comes out with a bad attitude and continues with this bad behavior. In that case, I say the child is fully to blame because they have been taught and they know full well that they are doing wrong.
18 Oct 08
I feel that society has a lot to answer for here,there has been such change in the way the world is within the last few decades that the temptations in life are far greater than ever before,the world that we live in is no longer the safe place that it used to be,the dangers are greater.I watched a television documentary and that was about the nightclubs and the pubs and the problems that they are having with teenage drunkenness.The amount of younger people that were highly abusive to the police had to be seen to be believed,they were stood there in a defiant mood,speaking back freely to the policemen.Now when we were children we were in awe of anyone in such a position.The local community policeman was there to keep us all in good order,and that he did,if we did wrong,he would instantly report back to the parents,who in turn on the whole responded positively by backing the policeman all of the way.The vicar was well respected in the village,we used to go to tea with the vicar.The children of today cannot have the childhood that we enjoyed,the freedom,the license to roam the fields and play,to go to the wooded ares and play,to just do their own thing.But the buck has to stop somewhere,and if there is nothing done soon to halt the problems that we are encountering now,the next few generations will be well and truly out of control.So let it start with the home and the parents,then let the parents work with the schools and the officials to make this world a better place again.
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
20 Aug 08
I believe you are right here. Parents and teachers blame each other. It can be easy to get caught up in the blame game. I feel that the conduct and attitude of the child starts at home and is a product of his environment. Yes, teachers do play a part in the children's lives also. They are supposed to be good role models and help the kids when they need it. Children need time and attention in life. When they get neglected that is when they search for other means of attention and fall into the wrong crowds in my opinion.