her mother killed herself

United States
August 28, 2008 10:59pm CST
DO WE TAKE CARE OF THE MENALLY ILL, WELL ENOUGH.? My daughters best friend call today. She said, " My mom had a black out last night and she didn't know what she was doing and she walked out in front of a train and killed herself ". The girl is 13, and these episodes have been going on for at least that long. The mother left her on side of the road as a baby. She live with her grandparents after that, and they raised her. And yet after all this time she still lived alone. The episodes got worse and worse every time. And then this. Do you think she should have been living in a group home, where someone could have overlooked her meds and took care of her mental state.?
2 people like this
8 responses
@GardenGerty (95522)
• Marion, Kansas
29 Aug 08
This problem actually began in the 1960's when many community health shelters were closed. It was decided that as long as a mentally ill person or mentally disabled person did not have a legal guardian, then they were responsible for themselves and it was their CIVIL right to live as they chose, and to take or not take their medications as they chose. I agree that they should not be exploited or imprisoned, but they need their meds, and there needs to be a way to enforce compliance for them. I just do not know what it could be.It is also, as a note, illegal to force sterilization, and contraception on the mentally ill, or mentally handicapped. If the deceased woman had had a legal guardian she could have been living in a group home with med supervision. I work with adult mentally handicapped, including some mentally ill. Most of them take their own meds. I can suggest, and request, but nothing else. Even the one young woman who has locked meds that I administer can refuse, and believe me, I could not sit on her and give her meds. To your question: No, we need more options for the mentally ill, they are often abused and exploited.They do things that are beyond imaginable.I am very sad for the girl who lost her mom. I also hope that someone is observing her for mental illness, as well as for depression stemming from the sad experience of having this woman for her mom.
• United States
29 Aug 08
The line between forcing and allowing each individual to choose is a fine one, isn't it? I feel sorry for the young girl. And I do hope she's given counseling to handle this.
• Canada
29 Aug 08
First of all my heart goes out to that poor little girl... how tragic. It seems in this day and age that people who have serious psychiatric problems really aren't getting the help that is really needed for them. I watched a documentary about this man who was schizophrenic and had a history of violence especially towards women and he was literally begging people even the hospitals for help and the most that ever happened was a script for more medication and a referral to a psychiatrist. He never took his meds and ended up pushing this beautiful woman in front of a moving subway. How can we trust psychiatric patients to take their medications if they are in a altered state in their minds already... it seems to me that more funding needs to be granted to help those who obviously are unable to help themselves... whether it be funded housing which is semi independent with social workers in the building at all times in case of a personal crisis, or group homes, or even more beds on hospital psychiatric units and more staffing... these people need help and its not their fault. I know some people think that psychiatric disorders are simply a cope out at life, but they really don't know what its like to have a chemical disorder in their brains until they have been diagnosed with it!
• United States
29 Aug 08
I agree with you, and everything you say. It is very hard to get a mental person to take there meds. Most want do it on there on. There does need to be more places and beds for people to stay. They would feel more independent from their family and friends. Thanks for your response.
• Canada
29 Aug 08
Not a problem... its a subject I feel very passionate on as a very good friend of mine suffered in silence with schizophrenia and she ended up a vegetable after trying to take her own life and it didn't work!
• United States
29 Aug 08
I'm sorry for your loss as well. Hope everything works out.
@rocker21 (2717)
• India
29 Aug 08
Sad, but yes you are right about it she must have been gathered and not being put alone. That makes a person more ill with their suffering!
• United States
29 Aug 08
I think when we are with others we fill better sometimes. But, We don't know whats going on in the minds of mentally ill people. It must be hard.
@rocker21 (2717)
• India
31 Aug 08
you'r right on that too !
@skinnychick (6907)
• United States
3 Sep 08
Wow sad. Someone should have stepped in and sought help for the mother. Where was the family?
• United States
4 Sep 08
They were there. I have learned a lot about this in the past week. She wanted to be independent. She wanted her own life. And to have it she had to live alone. She was happy living on her own. She did have assistance with different things. Maybe it was her time. I guess we'll never know.
@DCMerkle (1281)
• United States
30 Aug 08
I feel so sorry for the daughter. That she has her grandparents to look after her is the best thing that she has to fall back on. The sorry thing for people like her mom is that if the courts didn't see her as incompetent to take care of herself, then there was no reason to have her monitored. That is usually because they are taking their medication, but once she stops becomes non-compliant, there's still nothing that can be done. It takes a lot to have a person to become a ward of the State. There's no money in the budget to take care of people like that. Many State hospitals are just dumping people out on the streets with no follow-up care. This could have been the story behind the mother's reason for killing herself DCMerkle
• United States
30 Aug 08
The girl has always lived with her grandparents. Her mother has never been able to take care of her. So it is all she is use to. She did she her mother at least 3 or 4 times a week. So it is a very sad loss. I tried to explain it to my daughter in this way ; when peoples brains get mentally tired they sometimes do things they can't take back. Things that were not thought through before hand.
@skaterx (530)
• Finland
30 Aug 08
It's frightening that she was never put into some kind of care or institution to protect her from harm. I hope the young girl gets to be with a good family or guardian to take care of her now that her mother is tragically gone.
• United States
30 Aug 08
It is sad that this has happened to her mother. And there was no way to protect her from her self was also sad. The young girl was already living with her grandparent, who love and take very good care of her. She is in wonderful hands. Thanks for caring........;-)
@roberten (3131)
• United States
29 Aug 08
We tend to ignore what we do not understand and mental illness ranks near the top. If we understood it better we could treat is more properly; fear is the normal reaction from those of us who do not understand. Research is key along with proper education from an early age. We are our brother's keeper in this regard and should stand accountable for the welfare of those inflicted and effected by mental illness. We are much better at dealing with it than in years past but we still have such a very long way to go.
• United States
29 Aug 08
Thanks for your statement. Your right about people not understanding, and the fear. There is still a lot of research to be done about mental illness. Thank so much........;-)
@ShellyB (5244)
• United States
29 Aug 08
I am very sorry for your loss and the loss of this very young girl. I am not sure if a group home could have been possible for your friend, or if she even met the requirements to be in one. I hope that all of you have some peace of mind soon and that this young girl keeps in touch with her family. *hugs*
• United States
29 Aug 08
She lives with her grandparents, Who raised her. She was very aware of her moms problems. I hope as well that she will be okay. Thanks for your comment.