could you be in a relationship with someone you don't think is attractive

@jhl930 (3607)
United States
September 1, 2008 6:57pm CST
i heard on television today that a lot of people were in relationships with people that they didn't think was attractive because they are nice and treat them right, and i didn't think about it but i thought that there had to be a little attraction at first but i don't know i know that theres always been a little attraction on my end to the other girl is the reason i started talking to her...but is there people out there that have been in relationships with others because they were just nice and they didn't htink they were attractive...have you ever been in one of these? thanks for taking the time out of your day to read over my discussion and hopefully answer it and i hope that you all had a great day and i hope that your nights going good and goes good for the rest of the night, thanks again for reading my discussion!
5 people like this
20 responses
@natechia (50)
• South Africa
2 Sep 08
I guess the key question is what is being attractive? Some find it a great body others find it being a great mind. I personally think in some level to connect with someone you have to be attracted to them.In the old days parents would make their children marry into families for wealth and position. After a while I guess they would find something in their partner that would then attract them. We are just simply built to be attractive and attracted to someone or something.Human nature!!!
• Philippines
2 Sep 08
admit it, not everyone is lucky to have physical beauty... but when a person takes good care of himself/herself ( yes, grooming) then it will show... and especially when that person has a good heart, they will surely catch the heart of somebody....
@milfea (519)
• Philippines
3 Sep 08
here here ninette. :). The beauty inside a good person always flows outside, and these people makes them attractive, in ways we cannot explain why. :).
• United States
2 Sep 08
Well...this is kind of an easy question for me to answer lol. Because apparently a lot of the guys I think are cute/hot...no one ever agrees with me :P So apparently I have bad taste, but I don't think so :P But maybe I have a knack for only seeing the inside of people, or not caring so much about the outside. I'm not planning on meeting some supermodel hot guy and falling madly in love with him lol. If that actually happens, I'm lucky...but I don't really think it will :) I think I'm going to meet someone...and fall in love...do you see an appearance mentioned there? :D
• United States
2 Sep 08
Sorry I forgot to mention that I do agree with you... There had to be SOMETHING there to attract the people...whether it be something small like....their smile, eyes.....something. lol. Doesn't have to be the entire appearance that attracts people.
@cecelgay (563)
• Philippines
2 Sep 08
Yeah right, i would agree with you for that as per my experience, lol!
@razcal2267 (15577)
• United States
2 Sep 08
Yes and no. I agree there has to be some sort of connection but it does not always have to be that physical pull at first since attraction doesn't happen with just your eyes. I have never been in that kind of relationship but I do know a few that have been/are in a relationship that is more because of the way that the compliment each other rather then having that desire when they look at each other.
• Belgium
2 Sep 08
I still like a handsome person than someone looking bad.. But yeah, compliments, smartness, etc... Are also important aswell !
@ehlsie (730)
• Philippines
2 Sep 08
yes,,,i can be in a relationship eve if hje's not attractive...because relationship is not a beauty contest...it's about loving a person and accepting who he/she is... It's about the feelings you feel for that person. Outside look is only a plus but inner side of the person you love is the most important.
@camomom (7537)
• United States
2 Sep 08
i like what you said about the inner side and outer side. it made me think, if someone has inner beauty doesn't it give them outer beauty? i mean i've met people that i thought were gorgeous then got to know them. ugly inside makes them ugly outside.
• Philippines
2 Sep 08
yes, i remember my teacher telling the whole class that we should not find someone to love who is perfect but someone we can love perfectly despite all the imperfections.
@cecelgay (563)
• Philippines
2 Sep 08
Yes, I am very much agree with your teacher...
@lemayan (188)
• Germany
11 Sep 08
yes i could be in a relationship with a person i did not find attractive, its not always about the looks you know, i think theres more to a human being than just the looks, i find people who go for just the looks shallow, because imagine you were dating a woman who thought your physic was hot, and then hypotheticlly, you were in an accident and lost your leg or ended on cratches, and she left you would you still call that love, infact the person who dates another person because of how they treat them is in a safer territory than us who we go for the looks, and anyway looks dont last forever but feelings do
• Philippines
11 Sep 08
of course yes! physical attraction only lasts while you're young. all those we see now just fades away so it is just practical to find someone you love not because of what he/she is but who he/she is.;-)
• Canada
10 Sep 08
of course. looks arent everything in this world. its not like theres a rule that only attractive people are the ones who could be happy and contented in the end. in fact, they can be deceiving right? little attraction is enough for me at first but knowing him more on the inside is the perfect thing to find in a partner :)
• United States
2 Sep 08
I had a boyfriend for 4 years that I was planning on marrying and I never once thought that he was attractive untill after I fell in love with him, and since then he has been the most attractive person I've ever seen. Though he has deep set tired eye, manboobs, and a big nose. Sounds gross, right? Yeah, well, love is blind! And so I thought he wasn't very cute at first, but love goggles told me he was very handsome and masculine!
@yadav8797 (1211)
• India
2 Sep 08
yah.this type of relationship happen in these days. if the partner is not so attractive but a good human being from heart that leads to a good relationship between the people.the knowledge is the main factor required before the attraction.the attraction comes after some qualities.the attraction is the main thing in the life.but,it doesn't important to get in a relationship.
@camomom (7537)
• United States
2 Sep 08
i've never been with anyone that i didn't have atleast a small attraction to at first. i guess its possible if you met online or by phone and were attracted to their personality first. if your treated right then looks dont matter.
@palonghorn (5490)
• United States
2 Sep 08
Although looks are partially responsible for the attraction to someone in the first place, it's what's inside that will matter most. I have never been in a relationship with someone that I didn't think was at least attractive in someway. But if he turned out to be a jerk, it was over. I for one can't stand really good looking men that think their looks are all that matter. I might see his looks first, but within a short time I look for what kind of person he really is.
• Belgium
2 Sep 08
I think I couldn't... In fact I don't really care about beauty; I'm looking for someone smart. But, by nature, I'm someone that loves beauty and "near-perfection", so I tend to prefer good-looking people. Yes I may be superficial and shock some people here, but it is my thought, and it differs for each person.
@bunzor (303)
2 Sep 08
Probably not. Because being attracted to someone is a big part of being with them. If you get long with someone amazingly well but you aren't attracted to them, then you're just friends. Maybe it could develop into something more over time though.
@nengs10 (3189)
• Philippines
2 Sep 08
Maybe, I'm not that sure actually. But all I'm thinking is that the personality matters most. It's the character of the person that will make you fall for her or him more. Love is magical. It will just hit you in no time. Enjoy.
• United Arab Emirates
2 Sep 08
Yes,because if you love someone you never noticed those bad things that he/she possessed.All you see around him are all good.He/She might not attractive to others but for you my goodness he/she is very gorgeous as ever that was they called LOVE..
@lrglara (1343)
• Philippines
2 Sep 08
i think you can.. i did... i mean, i've met my bf the unconventional way... we became phone pals first. as in, i've never met him yet i was someone what intrigue with him because he's very thoughtful and everything. i wouldn't say he's unattractive but let's just say, he's not what i expected. but, we've been together ever since. beauty really is in the eye of the beholder!
@dpk262006 (54604)
• Delhi, India
2 Sep 08
I think what is important to me is inward behaviour of a person rather than her outward appearance. If she is well mannered and decent in her behaviour and is a ordinary looking, I will still maintain relationship with her. How she views me and treats me is more important than how she looks. I have seen some beautiful women, who are not as decent as one would like them to be on the other hand, I have met some very ordinary looking women, who won my heart throught their decent behaviour and manners.
• United States
2 Sep 08
Well I admit that there was about two guys that I dated when I was in Middle School only because they were really nice and sweet. I have learned after going through certain experiences that appearance is not something someone should look only for since with time it could disappear or fade (as one ages) and the only thing left would be their personality traits that will stay forever. The last guy I dated for about five years and a half (and had a child with him) on top of being handsome he treated me right, well that is what I thought for a long time, but with time he ended up disrespecting and insulting me and all I can say that once there is no respect that is the end of the relationship. Their has to be respect withing a relationship.
@n30wing (4771)
• Philippines
2 Sep 08
I like your question. These passed days I been watching people passing by and I was really observant of couples or relationships. Their is a guy who really look handsome and her gf is not really pretty,their is a pretty woman with her bf who doesn't really handsome I wont call it ugly. Maybe when you love someone it's the character that counts alot,feeling love, or time helps to develop. I think when your in love even the girl or boy is not handsome or pretty for you he/she looks great.I think when your good or nice you glow. Beauty fade but the kindness and the goodness of the person glows. Have a nice day! God bless!