Moving on with help from someone

Hi. I have nothing to say about what you have said, but I do want to ask something. I have read and heard a lot about second love, new love or something like that, but have never been able to make out what exactly it means. For me love is for a lifetime, then how can we move from its first version to the next one and so on.

its easier to forget the past by entering a new relationship and holding new hands..but than i think its better not to enter any and be self dependent rather than always leaning on some1 elses shoulders..one should give time to oneself and try and come out of the situation battle it one self and be strong enough and than go for other one ...as at the very juncture one may or may not make a right choice..and would juz tend to get carried away or hold any ones hand juz for the sake of coming out of the pain...

Perceptions and experiences may vary from person to person. I think you are very flexible and accommodating in your nature so that you could adjust with the new fellow. I did not have any such experience.

You got it right. One will really find it easier moving on from someone or something with someone's help. I have personally experienced it twice. First was when I was moving on from my first love. It was definitely hard because he was the very first person whom I fell for, a lot. His loss. We never dated. He never understood. We never talked to each other the same way as we did before when he knew about my deep feelings for him. That was more than five years ago (2003). What helped me move on from my first love was the guy I dated for almost 5 years(2003-2008). We recently broke up last April 2008. He really helped me rediscover myself. He helped me a lot. He literally catched me from my fall. He picked me up. Loved me unconditionally and that's why I was able to move on. forget my first love. and eventually fell for him. We were very much in love for almost 5 years. But we both had our tolls. After several fights, break-ups, etc. I just couldn't take it anymore. We both changed. Matured in thinking and ways of doing. Our relationship isn't just the same as before anymore. I was unhappy that's why even if he still wants me back. I just don't want to anymore. .....what helped me? who helped me? The current guy I'm dating with. I wouldn't be this happy if it wasn't because of him. It's never easy forgetting someone (the 5-yr guy).. most especially that you dated that person for almost 5 years. You both know each other so well, each others' strengths and weaknesses.. it felt like you were destined for each other. But then it just doesn't feels right anymore. And a relationship could never work when one isn't happy anymore. It happened. Life still goes on. Anyway, those things happen it one's life, in my life for me to experience happiness/pain, learn from mistakes and move on and become a better person, a stronger one. With help of course from someone. Happy postings!

Yes I agree that it is easier to move on with the help of other even if its not a new love... I never would have made it through a past breakup with out the help of my best friend coming over and staying with me to take my mind of it... In the past however I did go through a break up and found someone new right away and yes that is a great help but I always had to question if it was really love or a rebound so I am not sure if it is good for the other party if that is the case...

Most definitly finding new love can help with the healing process from the last relationship but there is a very fine line between rebounds and actuall love. Sometimes when people are still hurt from the past, they look to new people to make them feel better about themselves. However, it could just be a case of lust for the person to make them feel good rather then actually loving them with no baggage in the way. It does help every time but just watch to not hurt that person in the end when you realize that you were only with them to fill the void and nothing more. I have always been taught that after a break up, it is crutial to be satisfied with being alone before you can be with someone again. If that takes years to do then so be it. Being alone isn't all that bad and the heart actually needs that healing time by itself to be able to love another again.

I think most people need love in their lives and yes it makes it easier when someone new can give that to you otherwise we tend to brood ove the last one we loved...