Twins

@dawnald (85135)
Shingle Springs, California
September 3, 2008 6:59pm CST
If you had twins, especially identical twins, would you as a parent: 1. emphasize their "twin-ness" 2. try to encourage their individuality 3. let them figure out on their own how individual vs. how alike they would want to be?
2 people like this
10 responses
• India
4 Sep 08
i would go for option 1. that is i would emphasize their twin-ness. the brothers or the sisters would gel up well. they will never feel jealous of each other. they will work as a unit and will stand up together if bogged by any problem. after all, UNITED WE STAND , DIVIDED WE FALL..
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Sep 08
but I think you want to do it in a way that there won't be a lot of jealousy between them!
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Sep 08
Mine get along pretty well now, but it was a bit of a struggle when they were smaller.
• India
4 Sep 08
i actually would want to see my twin kids ( when i have them), to be happy forvever. for that i am going to pay any price it costs. may be removing jealousy between them would go a long way in this cherished desire of mine..
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
4 Sep 08
When they are infants, I would definitely emphasize their twin-ness. I think it is so sweet to see twins dressed alike. As they become toddlers, I would probably still dress them alike at times, but would want them to explore and encourage their individuality. As they get older, I would encourage them to do what they like rather than what their twin likes.
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
4 Sep 08
I know what you mean. When my daughter hit 1st grade, I had no control over what she would wear. I think it is great when twins do find themselves and develop their own personality. When my boys were younger I would dress them alike and they weren't even twins. They looked so cute though...all three in the same outfits. It was only once in a while, but it was fun.
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
4 Sep 08
I have seen a set of twins in my town that still dress alike and they are in their 40's....now to me that is a bit too much! When they are little it is cute, when they are 40 it is weird.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Sep 08
I think it would be fun to dress them alike, but I wouldn't do it all the time. When they get older they get minds of their own anyway and they let you know what they like!
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
4 Sep 08
If I have twins, I will just let them discover their own identities as human beings. It will be the same thing that I will do with the other kids, whether they are born as a single or twins. It's nice to have twins in the family. We have in the second degree and I love to see them grow together keeping their own abilities. (neildc @ red/89/1768)
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Sep 08
I like watching mine too!
@Chevee (5905)
• United States
4 Sep 08
My daughter has twin boys and she said she wanted them to establish their own identity I had them when she was in the military they were babies and I dressed them alike I didn't see any problem with it. I told her when they get old enough they can make their own decision. She is the mother so I let her have it her way. I say number 3
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Sep 08
Yep let mama have her way, smart grandmother!
• Singapore
4 Sep 08
most parent having twins would choose to emphasize their twin-ness by dressing them up the same manner, some color. but for me i would try to encourage their individuality, rather than me choosing the clothes for them, i would ask them choose what they like. but i will still be at their side offering them advice. this would greatly reduce the amount of comparison as they grow up. issues such as why can't i have something my sister have? would no longer be there as they knew each and everyone is different.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Sep 08
my kids give me the "so and so got this, why can't I have it" thing even though they are not twins...
• Singapore
4 Sep 08
it is much easier to explain to them why other children can have what they don't, than explaining why one sibling have something the other don't. to the children, it would seem that you care more for one of them than the other.
1 person likes this
4 Sep 08
I think I would encourage their individuality. When I see the kids dressed the same it drives me nuts. They are each their own person and should be allowed to express it.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Sep 08
and besides how do you tell them apart?
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
4 Sep 08
No I think I would work on their individuality as I think that is very important these days, besides i think dressing them differently helps other people to make the difference...
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Sep 08
My twins are boy and girl, so no problem there, but I agree with you!
@biwasaki (1745)
• United States
4 Sep 08
I would definitely encourage their individuality. No two people are exactly alike, nor should they be expected to be the same. I think it would be important to nurture each one's individual likes and dislikes, thoughts, and feelings. If they decided later on down the line that they wanted to be more similar, that would be up to them.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Sep 08
yep hard not to compare them though!
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
4 Sep 08
I will let them grow as separate individuals. And not someone as one even though they are twins. I want them to explore the world on their own with their own identity. And not someone as always being compared or linked to one another.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Sep 08
I agree
1 person likes this
@redkathy (3374)
• United States
4 Sep 08
I think I would stress their individuality in their clothes when they were little. As they grew I would try to hone in on their individuality and emphasize that particular thing, trait, or like to help them develop it on their own. I would not stop or should I say interfere in how alike they wanted to be. From all that I know about twins they have a unique oneness link/relationship naturally.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Sep 08
yep even when they're not identical