When you were a kid, did you get physically punished (like spanked or beaten)

@sharie16 (2213)
Philippines
September 4, 2008 6:09am CST
when your parents thought you did wrong? Do you think those punishments really made you a better adult or it's not a good practice? Would you also do the same with your kids? For me, yes, I was beaten with a leather belt. And i don't think it made me a better adult. What it remained on me was that, it hurts, it didn't even teach me to know the right from wrong, and the worst i have thought that -does mom really loves me? Oh from my experience, I would never do this to my son and the future kids i'll be having...I think there's no reason to use physical punishments just to teach them a lesson, it should not be violent..there are better ways to discipline children.. So how bout you, did you experince it? What are your thoughts to these?
4 people like this
13 responses
• India
4 Sep 08
"Spared the rod and spoiled the child!!!" You must have heard this saying(somewhat similar). Now leather belt used in your case was extreme step(I remember some bully had thrashed me with his school belt and in retaliation I had severely bruised his neck with the same belt on the same day). Try giving punishments like sit-ups, push ups or something the child hates to do. My father is a good man(an Army Professional)but when he get angry, he just scares the hell out of anyone. Constant physical beating also won't do any good. Every punishment given to a child must have some emotional quotient. Otherwise everything(punishments, scolding etc) is useless. It not the punishment that works but the emotional quotient attached with it! Although physical punishments have been meeted out to me many a time(off course by school teacher! my father or mother never beat me) but it never acted as a deterrent to me. Realization by the child is the only for his/her improvement. So make all your children realize their mistakes. But do not forget to set examples for them. You are your child's primary role model. Any imperfections in your personal and social life is bound to hamper your child's growth. My parents always taught me to stand up for what is right, Never cheat anyone, Always keep your calm especially in times of crisis, always be diplomatic in handling people. I learnt these things because they did what they used to say.
1 person likes this
@lala501 (1533)
• United States
4 Sep 08
Yes I was spanked as a kid. I think it really disciplined me. And I think if I didn't then I would keep doing the bad things that I was doing. I would definitely use that if I had a kid. I think it would be a good discipline lesson for him/her. he/she would have to learn that if you do something wrong you won't get away with it. And there will be punishments.
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@aidenw (632)
• United States
4 Sep 08
actually i was a good kid and i didn't get punished very often. my dad only hit me once with a broomstick until it broke and that was bad enough. but what's even worse, i got beaten by my 3rd grade teacher because i did poorly on a test (i grew up in asia and went to a catholic school, and physical punishment was very common). i still resent it to this day when i'm reminded of it. did it make me a better adult? absolutely not! quite the contrary. i was already a shy child to begin with, and those experiences made me even more timid and greatly lowered my self esteem. i'm not trying to blame my problems on other people or my childhood experiences because i believe we as individuals ultimately have the power to make changes. nevertheless, those childhood experiences did have a negative impact on my life.
1 person likes this
@jillbeth (2711)
• United States
4 Sep 08
I believe in spanking, but it should be reserved for very serious offenses. And a spanking on the bottom does not have to be a beating! It is the humiliation of the spanking that should have the desired effect, not the pain. You don't have to spank kids all the time, they just need to know it's a possibility. We were spanked as kids but with a small wooden paddle. We didn't holler we were being abused. We knew we had it coming! But if you feel spanking is not right because of your treatment as a child, then I would not advise you to spank your own kids! We all have to do what WE think is the right thing. I have a friend who was beaten as a child and he resolved to never treat his own kids that way, and as far as I know he never has. I give him credit for being able to break the cycle of abuse, as apparently you have also. Good for you!
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@MOMMASAM (1004)
• United States
5 Sep 08
well, my father was a policeman. so, he would spank me. i don't think i ever DIDN'T deserve it either. we're talking the 50's here, too. it was a whack or two on my butt. nothing with a belt or hairbrush or wooden paddle. there was no humiliation. you did wrong. take your punishment. it's not right to beat your child. it's not right to abuse your child. it's interesting to look up discipline in the dictionary. it's very different than punishment. what did i learn? i learned his rules were best followed. i learned to respect him and my mother. i learned to respect their roles in my family. i learned to respect my role in the family, too. and yes, i learned right from wrong. it was sometimes difficult to figure out. i spent much, much time talking and explaining LIFE to my daughter. i only had to spank her a few times. i had very few rules for her. but those rules were non-negotiable. she always knew the reasoning behind right and wrong. i never got off easy: because i said so !
@dantakum (404)
• Nigeria
5 Sep 08
That is what i came to understand when i went back to my mum,i get to understand my role in the family and understand what they are to me. The only things i think should be done to childern is one on one Discussion,discuss with them about what ever you see or feel about is bad and when they do any thing good let them know it by telling them. Take care.
• China
5 Sep 08
When I was a kid,and when my mom thought I was wrong,as everyother children, I was beaten by her.I do think that the naughty kids should be punished.But not those punishments like beating with a leather.it will be a lasting hurt to then.All babies need love from his/her parents.For me,like the author,I would never use physical punishment to my future babies.
@Ravenladyj (22940)
• United States
5 Sep 08
I was spanked as a child yes and IF the spankings were valid it'd be one thing however I was forever being punished for tiny things and even for no apparent reason (this was confirmed to my husband a couple yrs ago by other parents in the neighbourhood I grew up in)..As for my kids, yes I spanked them when they were younger and it didnt harm them mentally, emotionally or physically..in fact it along with explainations, groundings etc etc did wonders...Would i recommend it to other parents? No, thats not my place...
@dantakum (404)
• Nigeria
5 Sep 08
When i was young or a kid i stayed with my Uncle, i dont like reacllin those things back there makes me get angry and makes me not to evern have any thing to do with him nor his family. I was spanked on frequently for doing this or that,some are not even right. to make things short it really made me a better person now cos i think alot befor doing any thing but made me agressive (sometimes). And what i see about this punishment of a thing is a culture of some people, what i mean here is where you may be may have diffrent methode of doing it where i am believe in spanking,and so on. for my kids,no spanking but other methodes.
@rkrish (3003)
• India
5 Sep 08
I used to be always playing and playing even on exam days....so my dad used to come to ground with his other face...on seeing i escape from there and go to somethere place for playing..when the day ends i came back to home...so normally at max times he shouts at me a lot...that time i used to be very scare of him.....i think i was too young my dad has beaten me for changing my handwriting well..he strived a lot....so its young age i had a fear on dad but when i became mature my dad changed himself and he became very friendly...and now he is one of the best friend for me and he listens to me a lot.... I believe parents can be hard at children at earlier years but they have to change themselves as friends too in later years..becoz it makes child disciplined,educated,well manners and as whole a good people at end.....
• United States
5 Sep 08
I was spanked and made to stand in the corner when i was as child. It though me that i need to think my actions through because there are consequences to my actions. I think in some situations physical action needs to be taken, but i think some parents take it to far.
@djoyce71 (2512)
• Philippines
4 Sep 08
In my whole life, I have been beaten only once by my father. That was when I was in Grade 3. I did not ask permission to go with my friends to the market. They kept looking for me for hours, they panicked already. When I came home, my father was so angry, he grabbed my little hand to the bedroom and there he beat me in the behind. From that experience I learned. I never did anything that could make my parents worry. Good day!
@Hatley (164759)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Sep 08
hi sharie nope my parents never spanked nor beat me. My mom did it with her mom look, when she gave us that look we knew darned well we had done something wrong and dont ever do that again. My dad also had the Dad Look which was even worse, they only used that if we had done something horrendous and again we knew not to do that ever again. the Dad look made us want to cry, it was so sad, almost tragic, he looked as if we had let him down big time and he was going to cry. that got to us big time. So I never hit my own kids, they got the look and believe me the look really works.
@sk66rc (4261)
• United States
4 Sep 08
Oh, yeah... I grew up in Korea back in early to mid 80s... Back in those days, it was perfectly normal way of punishing kids... I've been kicked once, slapped few times, hit over the head with a wooden ruler countless times, got hit on my legs, got punched in my stomach once... And not all these punishments were from my parents, either... I wasn't exactly a demon child but I wasn't exactly a perfect angel, either, lol... I don't know, I have mixed feelings about it... I wouldn't spank my child to the degree that I was punished but I would spank her if needed... I haven't really spanked her yet, except I did sortta "plopped" her back with my open palm once...