Kids...To have or not to have?

United States
September 5, 2008 11:08am CST
I didn't expect 2 out of 3 of my kids but am extremely happy that I was blessed with them. I hear a lot of people say that they choose not to have kids. Or they have one and don't want another. What makes people choose between having kids and not having them? I know that the world is over populated but what would happen if everyone just stopped having babies. Would the world be able to move on in its normal course? I would love to have more babies but it is not possible. What about you. What made you decide to have, or not have, kids?
2 people like this
18 responses
@winzpc (2356)
• Indonesia
5 Sep 08
I think have a kid in our live will give us as parent feel more complete and happy in doing this life. I think there two opinion for someone who is already married and want a kid. First one is all people want to have a generation. Their generation will become the next boss of one company or the keep exist their surname. Another one is to complete their life, everyone which married want to have kids and also kids is a mercy from God. But for people that don't want many kids. They think that kid will give them a huge loading in their life. More kids will increase their expenditure. So different opinion, different answer. Keep post happy myLotting...
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Sep 08
that is very insightful.Thank you.
@Galena (9123)
6 Sep 08
not everyone that gets married wants to have children. for many people, marriage is to mark their love and commitment to their partner. and for some people, children are a part of that, and for others, like myself, the relationship is complete without children.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Sep 08
Well I am glad that you are in a marrage that doesn't have one of you begging the other for a child. I have seen marraiges that have broke up over kids. At least you both have the same views on the subject. Thanks
@salonga (28016)
• Philippines
6 Sep 08
The joy kids could give - Children are inheritance from God and come through the blessing of God. Only the heathen do not thank God for this inheritance, nor do they receive their children as the inheritance from God." How about you?
Oh I love kids, so very much!!! I married late but God gifted me with one son. I would have wanted to have more but 2 miscarriages happened and so I just got contented with one. I can't blame God, he after all does not commit mistake. He must have a purpose for giving me just a son and I consider this a big blessing already. As the Bible says (Psalm 127:3): Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. So if you've been given even just a kid then you already received an inheritance from God and how much more if 2 or 3 or more? Well, I feel sorry about those who do not love children and would not want to raise their own. They don't like the responsibility? Oh if only they know the joy of raising one. Genesis 33:5. "And he lifted up his eyes, and saw the women and the children; and said, Who are those with thee? And he said, The children which GOD HATH GRACIOUSLY GIVEN thy servant."* Genesis 48:9. "They are my sons, whom GOD HATH GIVEN ME in this place."* Joshua 24:3. "I took your father Abraham...and multiplied his seed, and GAVE HIM ISAAC."* Ruth 4:13b. "The LORD GAVE HER CONCEPTION, and she bare a son."
• United States
8 Sep 08
I don't think that those who choose not to have kids don't love them. Maybe they are just so involved with their careers that they might not have time to raise a family. Or they may view the world today as a place not to bring children into. There could be a number of reasons. I am glad that you were blessed with you one wonderful child and I am sorry for the loss of the other 2. God does,however, Has his reasons. Thank you very much for your response.
@salonga (28016)
• Philippines
9 Sep 08
Oh yes you have points there. Not all of them do not really love children but just don't like to bear their own for various reasons. But no matter what, I find no good excuse at all. Thanks for the BR my friend! Have a nice day!
@ehlsie (730)
• Philippines
6 Sep 08
I really loves kids and im so happy everytime i saw cute babies specially!!and i want to have my own kids...i think i want to have three kids. Because for me having a child will complete me as a woman....And having a child is a precious gift you can give to your husband. happy mylotters!
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Sep 08
Well hopefully you will get your 3 that you want. Just make sure that you can give them all that they need. Happy day and thanks for your response.
@magna86 (1787)
• India
6 Sep 08
well its really good to have kids!!! but too many!! not manageable.. hahah i think a couple could have 1 or 2 children but not more than that!! thats my view dear!!!
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Sep 08
Hehe. I got 6. I did not give birth to all of them but they are mine. We do ok by them and are not struggling with money. But it does get hard at times such as birthdays and Christmas. Happy day and thanks for your response.
@bugbaby (1788)
• Indonesia
6 Sep 08
i decided to have kids for regeneration, and i love to have kids, and now i just wait for my first kid 2 months to go.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Sep 08
Well, congrats on nuber 1. Only 1 more to go. Happy day and thanks for your response.
@lingli_78 (12845)
• Australia
6 Sep 08
of course i want kids... i always ask God to give me kids everyday and i want at least 2 kids... at the moment, i don't have any kids yet and i can't wait to have one soon... kids are the blessings from God and i will be very happy when He blessed me with one... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Sep 08
I hope that you soon have a baby. I will keep you in my thoughts. Babies are such a wonderful addition to any family. Happy day and thanks.
@Shunyo (244)
• India
6 Sep 08
well for me, i have decided not to have kids as its a big responsibility and i don't want to take it now as i don't like to do things half heatedly, i would like to focus on myself for now otherwise your whole focus changes, your risk taking ability suffers as it will be unjust if you give birth to someone and then are not able to take care and give a secure and affluent life. i would like to focus on myself in this life, that's what i have decided until now.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Sep 08
And hopefully no one judges you for your dicision. I have said before that careers come first to some. My focus did change when I had kids. But I was also willing. Choice is such a beautiful thing. Happy day and thanks
@sumiirajj (1983)
• India
6 Sep 08
Hi friend,I have one child and when we wanted one more we were not able to get one.But without children the life is monotonous and very boring.We husband and wife will not have a strong bonding without children.With children only it constitutes a family, without children there is no family.I feel having 2 children for a family is ideal and easy to bring up.Thanks for sharing,happy mylotting.
• United States
8 Sep 08
I am sorry that you are unable to have more children. More reason to be thankful for the one you have. I love the fact that a lot of people see a family includes children. It would break my heart never to have had mine. I would feel incomplete as a family and a person. Thanks
@jelamar (44)
• Philippines
6 Sep 08
Well actually to have or not to have kids depends on the parents, if they are willing to have one and if they can give all the needs of their baby...
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Sep 08
That is the thing. The NEEDS. I hear about the I wants and my kids wants. As long as they have what they need and lots of love then what else is there? My kids need nothing but want everything. If I gave them all they wanted then we would have no home.LOL.But they do get everything they need to survive in life and then some. Thanks
6 Sep 08
1st:money,money money money my life for money 2ed:wife ,is she my true love 3rd:will my child get a happy life
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Sep 08
If you and your wife can have a happy life then why shouldn't your child be able to. Yes you need some money to raise babies but a lot of love also helps. Seem to me that you might be ok if you wanted to have babies or even one. Either way, you will both decide what is right for you.Thanks
@Galena (9123)
6 Sep 08
I don't want any. just because I'm really not into them. I never look at other peoples children and think they're cute, or have any desire to have one of my own. children within the family, some of them I like, but I'm glad when I can get away from them and leave them with their parents. I find them quite tiring to be around. there's certainly no harm in not wanting children. some people not having children isn't going to cause a problem. there's lots of people having more than enough children.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Sep 08
And my family is prime example how it only takes a few to repopulate. We have 6 kids together ranging from 17 to 4. Kids aren't for everyone I agree. I do not judge those who choose not to have kids and I hope that others do not judge as well.Happy day and thanks
@sacmom (14315)
• United States
6 Sep 08
While I was pregnant with my first child I was adamant about not having any more children. This is probably due to my sister and I never getting along and I didn't want to take the chance of this possibly happening to my own kids and the only way to make sure that didn't happen was to not have any more kids. I had planned to get my tubes tied right after I gave birth and had even signed the papers a few months beforehand. But the day my son was born my husband got me to change my mind about getting my tubes tied. How? He had asked me if I would want another child if our baby happened to pass away. I couldn't answer that, but it did make think... and cry. 2+ years later I became pregnant with my second son and even though I hadn't wanted more than 1 child, I'm glad I had him because he, as well as his big brother, are the world to me.
• United States
8 Sep 08
My sister had 1 and thought to have no more. Her son will be 12 next month and her daughter is was born July 29 of this year. Glad you decided to have your 2nd.Thanks
@lvramos (16)
• Philippines
6 Sep 08
Even before I was married to my husband, we already decided on having kids - at most is 2. But after my 2 brothers passed away - we'd like to have more at most is 4 (maximum number since I had CS operation for both my kids). I think what makes people choose between having kids and not having them is financial concerns. Of course who wouldn't want to give the best for their kids? All parent would like to give the best education, a good and abundant life to their kids. And this restricts them from having one, more or no kids at all. But I have friends who are 3-5 year married already but opted not to have kids. They love their careers and their lives as such - doing whatever they like, anytime. But to each his own, whether you want kids or not ... it's really your choice!
• United States
8 Sep 08
I agree that it is a choice. I wouldn't trade my kids for all the late night parties or all the alone time with my husband for anything. I love my babies. I am sorry to here about your brothers. I ahve recently lost my own brother. Good luck on expanding your family.
@austere (2816)
• Philippines
6 Sep 08
that's definitely to have kids!hehe well, i dont have kids yet. i am not married..hehe but someday i want to have mt own family and have kids of my own.. well i want to able to experience how it is to become a mother.. to take care of my own children.. it would be a nice and pleasant experience i know.. someday.. someday..
• United States
8 Sep 08
It will happen for you. I am glad that you wish to have kids. And it is a woderful experience to be a mother. Holding your baby for the first time. I would do it all over again if my husband would let me have one more. Be patient and love will come. Thanks
• India
6 Sep 08
Not to have babies is some thing sore to read and think. I think there may hardly be any one male or female who do not want children out of their bonds. Yes it is possible that some may opt for more children or some may opt for one or two. In certain countries there are also law to have 3 child norm or two child norm as family planning programme and incentives are given to those following this law.How you see it please comment.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Sep 08
Well, If there were a law here in the U.S. then my husband and I would be in trouble. Together we have 6 children. 3 live with us but we still have 6. I love kids and am very grateful to have the children I have.
@mari123 (1862)
• China
6 Sep 08
i like children very much,if i get marriage,i want to have two or three children in my family,they are a girl and a son,beacuse two children in a family will make happy in our life,and they can do something with each other
• United States
8 Sep 08
I am glad that you want children when you get married. A lot of people even right after marriage are undecided. Thanks.
@miller1978 (1104)
• United States
5 Sep 08
I became a mother at a young age for our area. I was 17 and pregnant when I graduated high school and didn't know the first thing about being a parent. She arrived 4 months after my graduation and at first I struggled learning to get up in the middle of the night to change a diaper and feed her. It was hard. But it's something I would do all over again given the chance. Since then I have had 5 other children, 4 of which survived. Now I am a mother of 5 children and 1 deceased child. I have been through and seen every emotion there is of being a mother and would never trade it in for anything else. I often wonder how people could have abortions and stuff unless it is absolutely necessary. I never once thought of abortion. Right now there is a very close friend of mine who is going through a tough pregnancy having to make trips weekly to see a specialist 2 hours away. Every week! When they first found out that the baby was having complications they told her it would be best to get an abortion. A doctor telling her this. She went and got a second opinion and the specialist told her that yes his bladder is enlarged but they could put a catheter in him to help drain it so that his other organs could grow normal. Now a few months later, she hears more bad news. "Larry" the baby she is pregnant with may die anyhow because his bladder is filling up to fast for his body to handle. They said she may be able to carry him to full term but he may still pass on after birth.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Sep 08
I am sorry to hear about your friends situation.I hope that everything works out for her and the baby. I was also kinda young with my first. I was 18.
@elisa812 (3033)
• United States
5 Sep 08
I definitely want to have kids. I don't have any yet, but I have always hoped for 2 or 3 children. I am still a newlywed, so we haven't started a family yet, but we are very much looking forward to it. I'm not really sure what makes me really want to have kids, other than that I just have always liked kids and I think it will be very rewarding to be a parent one day. Also, my sister and her husband just recently had their first baby, so seeing my new niece has been really amazing and makes me look forward to having my own even more!
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Sep 08
I will tell you that there is nothing more rewarding than having the man of your dreams and having his babies. I absolutely love being a mother. Congrats to your sister and brother-in-law.Best wishes to you.