respect

United States
September 12, 2008 10:51pm CST
When does your husband start to respect you as a wife. what does he consider being a good wife. someone who lays him, cooks for him, does whatever he wants. see i have a problem with this. i dont think my husband respects me still and i do all of those things. but i still cant figure out why he married me, cause it sure as heck doesnt feel like he loves me all the time. maybe half the time. i dont get it. what is a good wife. i know that i have my moments in life where i dont seem like the greatest of people to be around. but i know he knows that i will love him forever. do you think the problem could be me. or is he just a jerk always.weve been married for two years. tell me it gets easier.
1 person likes this
8 responses
@spalladino (17925)
• United States
13 Sep 08
Men are different than women when it comes to communication so maybe your husband just doesn't express his feelings very well. It sounds like you're a good wife, and nobody's perfect all the time, so don't be so hard on yourself. Keep trying and maybe his attitude will improve. He could be having problems at work or worries that are making him moody...or he could be a jerk. I hope not tho.
• United States
13 Sep 08
thanks. that makes me feel better. i guess only time will tell huh?
@rainmark (4306)
16 Sep 08
Maybe i can say that i am lucky to have my husband, i get a kind of respect that i expected from him.And i do the same to him. If you respect him he also respect you. You need to balance that kind of relationship so we can achieve the respect to each other. I know some men doesn't respect thier wife it's because they never treat them as a wife and the love is not present. Sometimes, girls feels like they never love by thier partner or husband, coz men are not fan of showing thier emotions. But im sure he loves you that's why he married you. You just need quality time together to measure that respect and love each other.
@Sarah1108 (310)
• United States
14 Sep 08
really there is no way to tell without his side of the story. It seems like maybe he could be more loving. How was he before you got married? Did he tell you he loved you all the time did he bring you flowers? or has he always been this way. I guess the best thing would be to talk to him about it. Dont be mean when you bring it up just ask if there is something wrong or if there is something he would like you to change. That will get the talk going then you can bring up your problems and tell him how you would like him to change. but if he has always been like this i am not sure if he can change. and i am sure he would say you should have known this before you married him.
@phoenix25 (1543)
• United States
14 Sep 08
Honestly, I don't think it matters how much of a "good" wife you are. If a husband loves his wife, he probably won't care whether or not the laundry is always done or if the house is always spotless. I think you are falling under the misconception that what a wife does somehow earns her husband's respect and love. If he doesn't act like he loves and respects you now, while you're playing Betty Crocker, then what happens when you're unable to do those things for whatever reason? We don't love people because of what they do for us. We love them for who they are.
• United States
14 Sep 08
i think there is a serious issue if you have been married for two years and you are already starting to feel like this. it sounds like there be more to the issue. what was your relationship like before you got married? did he act like this? you said you have you moments when you're not the the best to be around..are you sure it's just moments or are you like this all the time? have you ever suffered from depression? on the other hand it could be your husband. does he talk down to you? is it possible you're suffering from emotional abuse? you may to talk to someone and see if there is something going on with you. if not then you need go to marriage counseling. from your picture i see you have a child and if you've only been married for two years i think you might benefit from marriage counseling. how old is your child maybe you're suffering from PTSD
@Aurone (4758)
• United States
14 Sep 08
Wow, could be a page out of my life. Except I have been married for three years. My husband was great when we first got married but lately I also feel like he doesn't respect me. But he has been under a lot of stress and we have been in a bad financial situation. I am hoping with the changes we are going through right now (new job for him and moving to a better area) that things will go back to being good. So maybe your husband has some stress that is making act this way. Maybe he takes you for granted, have ya'll been apart any since you got married? Maybe you need to take a girls only trip with your friends for a few days and let him miss all the good wifely things you do.
• United States
13 Sep 08
It sounds to me like he's a jerk. I would never marry a man who didn't already respect me and accept me for the way I am. No, I'm not easy to get along with. Yes, I have a temper. No, I'm not going to be his personal servant. If he can't accept and respect that, then that's his problem. Was he like that at all before you got married? How long were you together before you got married? In my opinion, you need to have a serious come to Jesus meeting with him as soon as possible and put your foot down. You don't deserve to be treated that way. No one does.
• United States
13 Sep 08
hello crayola1, whoa 2 years same with us. we are just having our 2 year anniversary end of this month. i cant believe that you do all this and dont feel like he loves you. something doesnt sound right. are you feeling ok lately? do you have depression? theres more to this story there has to be. then again i sometimes feel the same way but i understand with me its money issues thus i get depressed and then everything else is affected. thus he is the one to complain that i dont pay enough attention to him when im worrying about our bills and how things are going to get paid. so i have a little different problem but sounds like what my hubby is complaining about that i dont give enough affection. actually a few questions is he the bread winner of the home. it might be finances, maybe something thats bothering him and hes holding it in. good communication is the key to a good marriage you know. i would have a sit down with him and talk and see what can be fixed or changed. you never know maybe he is feeling the same way but dont want to tell you.