How much of your past should you share ?

@bugbaby (1788)
Indonesia
September 17, 2008 10:37pm CST
I’m often asked that question and my answer is always the same.. it depends. If you’ve just met someone, you do not owe them your entire life history before you know anything at all about them. It’s a date, not a confessional. What if you tell someone all about your personal life in addition to the skeletons in your closet and you decide you don’t want date number two? You’ve got all this personal information floating around to whomever this person talks to about it. They’ve got no unwritten contract to be discreet because you’ve let them know you’re not going to see them again. Bad move.
5 people like this
17 responses
• India
18 Sep 08
I think sharing our past gives us more experience of life. I think passing one the most personal information to the unknown people who may circulate among other people you are not aware how it will effect on you, is a matter of concern. As far as my lot is concerned I think people are not so poor in knowledge and they are wise enough not to indulge in disgrace to be fool others. If any the least his motive may be to get more response from you towards his discussion. People here are not so free time to bother for you personally. Be care free and have a nice day commenting how you see it.
1 person likes this
@bugbaby (1788)
• Indonesia
18 Sep 08
but not all our secret must share with trusted friend even we know them for a long time,,,i have experience with that case not all closes friend can keep our secret.
• Singapore
18 Sep 08
I won't undig the past, the past hurts and i buried it to keep the hurt rot six feet under.
• United Kingdom
18 Sep 08
I guess it all depends on you at the end of the day. You should share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with. You don't even have to share anything, that's purely your choice. Sometimes though, if you give out too much information then you tend to become vulnerable! There are those certain individuals as well that wouldn't think twice about disclosing certain information about you. I guess you have to play it safe and, if there's private stuff in your life then it's probably best that you keep it private!! Andrew
1 person likes this
@gegegelay (934)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
I think that we should be more careful in sharing too much info about ourselves (especially our past) because often times, the person you just confessed to might be a friend of yours that you don't even know. It's better to be cautious in conversations such as that since you barely know the person and you still ain't sure if you could trust the person. I believe it's all up to the person if he/she is willing to bare out everything about himself since it's to his own discretion.
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Sep 08
You are absolutely correct !! I myself need to remember this though when I meet others for the first time and always want to trust that they are like myself and will not go around telling everyone what I have confided in them but have seen how many times others are quick to talk when they are in the company of friends and have nothing better to say so they tell your life story for attention .
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Sep 08
i dont share a lot about my personal life because i am a very private person, i see to it that the person is honest enough and good enough to be trusted. sometimes i tell my problems but not the bigger ones, well its good to talk to someone you meet, but maybe he/she will find it comfortable to talk about problems especially to those he/she cannot relate, it will be good to talk about funny things first.
@bugbaby (1788)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 08
yes, maybe more better like you not to share personal life to someone, more good to share about something funny.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
18 Sep 08
I totally agree with what your saying im a private person and i dont think its a good idea to tell every little detail about your self especially when you first meet someone because like you said you dont know if that person will by someone you will continue to see on a regular basis and you dont know if that person will blab everything you told them if you choose not to see them anymore, i would only consider talking about personal things if iv been dating them for a certain amount of time, and they have shown me that they can be trusted and that they truly care.
@bugbaby (1788)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 08
not just to one person and first meet, but i can't trust my old friend too i have experience with that, no one can trust now.
@shamzy18 (2319)
18 Sep 08
you should never trust someone who you dont know. why tell them things if you dont know them. On the other hand sometimes its easier to tell people you dont know much than tell the people you do know but you dont want to tell! If someone doesnt need to know something which is about yourself then dont tell them especially if you dont know them you wont know what they are really thinking. if your dating someon and they dont know you at all why tell them about your skeleon if you just recently starting knowing each other. only if you get close then should you tell.
@bugbaby (1788)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 08
yes, from my experience i don't want to trust another one anymore even my closes friend, i just share about my past to my wife.
• Malaysia
19 Sep 08
Hey there, I think it's hard to set a limit on how much about the past you can share with anyone. It really depends on how open you are and how much you can handle people's reaction when they hear your past.^^
• United States
19 Sep 08
I am a talker and have at times divulged more info than I should have. On dates I do try to steer away from talk about past relationships. The past is the past. However there may or may not be life experiences that you could share with each other. I know that was one of the clenchers when my fiance and I started dating 6 1/2 years ago. Just one night of talking literally all night about diffrent things that have happened or that we experienced, our thoughts, goals for the future. Neither of us revealed any deep dark skeletons that night. Hold back on that kind of stuff. Sometimes there's things that are better left alone anyway.
@yerikau (53)
19 Sep 08
I think that your trust level depends on how much you have been betrayed by someone you love. For example: If you have never been betrayed, your trust level is very high.
@Saiyan25 (86)
• Canada
18 Sep 08
It's not a great idea to share your past to a person who you just met because you don't want them to know too much about you until you know enough about them. I don't tell people anything about my past until I know them well enough. I mean, if someone asks me a question about my past, I'll answer it but I won't go into too much detail until I know that person well. I agree with you completely on this one and you don't want personal information floating around.
@izathewzia (5142)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
I don't intend to share everything about my past. Only those that i know will be of great help to others. I mean, the lesson they will get out of it. I don't intend to tell everyone either. Only those who needs to know.
@ladygator (3469)
• United States
18 Sep 08
I used to be an open book. Tell everything always, but no longer do I see things that way. Not even because I want to have information confidential, but because some information is just irrelavant to anything. Also people sometimes just dont want to hear all your life story. I will save all that info for my journal.
@Ithink (10411)
• United States
18 Sep 08
I agree if it is a date you need to get to know the person but you dont need to share your whole past with them and vise versa. You dont know if it will work out or not and who wants someone to know EVERYTHING especially when that person might not be "the one". I dont trust a whole lot of people with my whole past their of course are a few exceptions, one being my husband and the other my best friend. I know they would never betray me and go telling someone all my business. In the end watch who you trust and trust wisely.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
18 Sep 08
Sometimes when we first meet a person we are reluctant of opening up our past history or talking more about ourself to them but conversation will not be too interesting if a little of yourself is not revealed. To draw an interest in the conversation a little bit about oneself does no harm. But of course you need not pour out all the beans less they might undermine you.
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
well half of it because if you share everything, some people will discover your weaknesses and they will use this in some time to destroy you or put you down. I already had this experience when i was in high school. don't ever share your past to friends, share them to trusted best friends.