Is this normal
September 27, 2008 4:09am CST
I know a whole bunch of people who have broken up with someone after years. Recently at least 3 who were so in love with the person (one who had been with the person for 2 years the other for 4) and they just split. This gets me paranoid like I am next, and in my head I keep accidentally referring to my current boyfriend as my ex (possible because I talk so much about all my other ex's) and I'm afraid its like some kind of a sign. See the thing is, I love this person, with everything in me. And I guess I'm scared, both to lose him, and to actually be loving someone when I am so used to being the overly cynical and negative about relationships and everything since mine seem to only last a month or less (like my jobs) and I see so many other people split. I always talk about hating love, never wanting to be in love, and listening to anti love music. Am I running? Is this normal? I don't want to be paranoid or possessive but I don't want to lose him either. I think I'm scared that love can't possibly be lifelong.
• United States
28 Sep 08
Unless you're part of a relationship, you can't tell what's going on there. A couple I know were the ones everyone said were perfect for each other and totally happy. They divorced after thirty-eight years! Now they're both in happy new marriages. Seems impossible, but a lot of couples split after very long marriages. Our lives change constantly and, unless we keep our relationships on track, we might grow apart. Having a greal of respect, friendship and trust behind the love will usually do the trick! It certainly works for my husband and me.
• United States
27 Sep 08
ok, first off.. love is lifelong. second, love is work. love is effortless and all who has felt love's graps knows that it knows no bound and is not the least bit prejudice. but sometimes love fades and that is that but sometimes love hides and people when people think it has left. this happens in relationships that have blossomed into years. but like i said, love is work. and love is efforless. that first time when we lay eyes on the other, our skin swells and it itches to be touched, that is effortless. but after years and years of that same day in and day out, sometimes it becomes day to day. people don't understand that relationships are work and you need to work in order to make the other person happy, as well as they should you. in my experience it was when i wasn't looking for love when i found the woman that i want to be with for the rest of my life. my advice to you is that just because you were skeptical doesn't mean you should expect failure and just because your friends may panic when faced with the possibility of forever doesn't mean you have to. it is normal to be skeptical. you just have to ask yourself, would you cease to be able to breathe? if so, it's love.