What is your opinion? Would you stay married for sake of children?

@sanell (2116)
United States
November 6, 2006 2:39pm CST
I strongly feel that if you stay married ONLY because you have children then I think that is ashame. I do not see how you can think that staying together when you are so unhappy with eachother just so that the children are okay with having two parents in the house. Children know what is going on never underestimate them, if the children know you are unhappy then maybe something needs to change. Yes it will be hard but yuo are all in the family and they will be affected to! Regardless of how well you hide it they will know!
1 person likes this
13 responses
@jncgiza (257)
• United States
6 Nov 06
I believe that is the worst thing you can do, my parents stayed married for the sack of my brothers, sisters, and me, and well we hated it, they where so unhappy.. we would have rather saw them apart living life and enjoing it than being married. Yes we hated the thought of them not being together, but its worse seeing to people that dont love eachother give up their happeness for you, it doesnt make it worth it to me
@sanell (2116)
• United States
6 Nov 06
yeah, our parents did the same thing, they separated when I was about 16 and then when things just were not working out finally they did decide to divorce. we had a talk all four of us and I said that I was happy that they were moving on with their lives in a way that would make them both happier. In the end, it was a long trial period and a long time for them both to really get settled but overall both my sister and I are much happier that they are apart. They both are a lot happier too.
@kshsweet (229)
• United States
6 Nov 06
I would not stay married for the sake of the children because that would do them more harm than good. Especially if you're in a family where the parents are always fighting. Soon enought the child(ren) may start to take sides and that may make the eventual separation even more difficult for both the parents and the children.
@sanell (2116)
• United States
6 Nov 06
well, it is difficult in any situation but I do not think that the children would actually choose one parent over the other, of course it will be hard for the kids to deal with at first as long as the parents are good and responsible they will know not to persuade their children to go against the other. I think divorce ultimately i shard on the family but constant arguing and fighting in a marriage is just as hard for children to deal with.
@innechen (1322)
• Indonesia
19 Dec 06
i would not stay married just for the sake of the children.because if we oive in unhappy marital life then how come you expect ur children would be happy and grew up in a good situation and teaching? a bad relationship between husband&wife would only make ur children depressed and make them grow up in wrong way.they will feel brokenhome which will give a bad effect to their future.
• India
18 Dec 06
well duno..me single....
@joshdale08 (2325)
• Philippines
18 Dec 06
i can't give an objective answer to this because for now, i strongly feel that parents should strive hard to be together for the kid's sakes. i wouldn't know about the others who are in the middle of marital quarrels, though. i can only speak for myself coz i'm happily married.
• Canada
18 Dec 06
I think that staying married just for your children is backwards. Children deserve to grow up in a love and caring home, not around parents that fight all the time or who obviously don't love eachother. Children learn everything they know about family from their parents, and I wouldn't want my child to grow up thinking that being married to a man or woman that they didn't love was the norm.
• Philippines
18 Dec 06
I am a single mom... well if your marriage is doing well then be happy with your family.. but if not, why suffer??? right... beside you and your spouse can talk abt the custody... you only have to explain to your kids very well.. dnt ever brainwash them against on your spouse....
@luskas (3430)
• Portugal
15 Nov 06
In first place i would never have any children with a person that i dont feel the forever stuff... Even if i had children i would make my way over it but never forget that they were my children
@luskas (3430)
• Portugal
15 Nov 06
In first place i would never have any children with a person that i dont feel the forever stuff... Even if i had children i would make my way over it but never forget that they were my children
@JoyfulOne (6243)
• United States
7 Nov 06
Lots of people subscribe to the notion that you should stay married for the sake of the children. I went through this myself, I stayed together for the sake of my girls despite being in a miserable, argumentative, etc, marriage with a violent tempered man. Then one day it hit me: I may be showing them perserverence in sticking with a 'task' that seems impossible, but what else is this teaching them? Once I realized that by staying this man, I was silently telling my girls that it is OK to be treated with disrespect by your spouse, and that 'drama and screaming' by your husband is OK, as well as unfairness. Yes, it was hard leaving, but looking at it through adult eyes today, my girls understand why it was necessary. They have learned to stand up for themselves (without being rude) when someone is verbally attacking them, and so many other lessons that are important to having a good, fulfilling relationship. I think lots of women don't realize the silent message that they send their kids when they stay in a bad relationship; they DO see what's going on, and they WILL learn the wrong things.
@michele609 (1687)
• United States
7 Nov 06
I feel if you stay together for the sake of your children its only going to make mattters wrost because your not happy, frist off you might go cheat which is not healthy, second people that are not happy with each other fight and argue alot which is also not healthy, and last when your unhappy and upset you take it out on the people you love and that just might be your children.
@rhitzky (364)
• Philippines
7 Nov 06
no. if you will stay married just because of your children both of you have a miserable life. this days children are more open-minded and matured. they will understand it.
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
7 Nov 06
Children are not a reason to stay together if both are unhappy. However before taking that final step and separating, the couple should try counselling to see if they can work out the problems. Children themselves do bring problems by vitrue of the fact that the woman often has to stop work for a period of time, which in turn means less money. Also she has to devote a lot of time to a new baby and less to her husband. Some men do not appreciate this and there are some women who will use their children to avoid a close relationship with their husband. I think that if the differences cannot be resolved, then often the couple are better off separating. Both parents should have an equal say with regard to education etc of the children and both should have access to them as well. Children do notice when there is conflict, or lack of affection, between parents and to stay together for the children can have an adverse effect on the child/ren.