public speaking!! are you afraid of it?

public speaking fear!! - it is the no 1 fear in the US
@amlegend (945)
Pakistan
October 9, 2008 1:49pm CST
i came across a survey that says that the fear of public speaking is ranked 1 even above the fear of death and rattle snakes in the US. in your opinion why is it so? are you too afraid that one day you will be asked to speak in front of a thousand people and they will be all looking at your face? expecting something great to come up from your mouth? how would you counter that fear? if you don't have the fear then please i will love to read how you overcame it! thanks for sharing.
4 people like this
18 responses
• India
10 Oct 08
Its horrifying for me. I was been pushed to that situations for couple of time, one time i escaped and another time got and after that speak i feel my self insulted.
3 people like this
@amlegend (945)
• Pakistan
10 Oct 08
i was told that there is nothing better then being alive and having the energy to do something. just think as you are not going to die(god forbid) on the stage, its all yours and think of the people as dummies who know nothing and they are expecting you to tell them something really cool and to amaze them.hope that helps good luck to you!
1 person likes this
@owlwings (39614)
• Cambridge, England
11 Oct 08
You will certainly not die (physically) on stage. 'Dying' metaphorically is another matter ... but then why should you? You know your subject well and love it and can probably be very enthusiastic about it to friends and colleagues. You only need to think of every one of those faces out there as a friendly one with a smile on it for you. Maybe that is too scary still. Pick one person towards the back who is eager to hear what you have to say and speak to him or her (but let your eyes roam a bit ... you don't want to embarrass them!) If even that is too scary, then look at the clock (or whatever) right at the back of the room and talk to that. That, at least, will ensure that everyone will be able to hear what you say. Make headings for your topics on cards (or build an on-screen presentation, if that's what you're in to!) They are like jumping off points. You just need a few words to remind you what you have to say. Each card is like a launch pad for you to expand on (for less than a minute, maybe) till it's time to move on to the next heading. Questions from the audience are very helpful, often. They give you a break and allow you to relate to one person, which most people find less stressful. Make several places (perhaps every 3 to 5 mins or so, depending on the 'density' of your information)in your presentation where you can usefully recap and invite questions. Breaks like this give you a change and also give your audience a chance to assimilate what you are saying. Smile, be friendly, just remember everyone wants to be your friend! ... and you want to be theirs!
@owlwings (39614)
• Cambridge, England
10 Oct 08
I have been a member of a group for years and think nothing of being on stage singing and performing to audiences of 10,000 people or of a dozen or so. I have no qualms about introducing my songs, either, which is, of course, 'public speaking'. Yet put me in a situation where I have to make a speech or, worse, teach a class of students and I am all to pieces, my mouth dries up and I stumble over my words! Just recently, however, I discovered a way of dealing with this lack of confidence or phobia. It's called Emotional Freedom Technique and is based on a combination of acupuncture theory and the use of reinforcing statements. It is extremely easy to learn and one treats oneself. No needles are involved, since one stimulates the acupuncture points just by tapping on them while repeating certain statements that you decide upon. EFT can be used in many situations like this as well as for chronic pain and other physical conditions. You can download the comprehensive manual completely free and also subscribe to a very good and readable newsletter which has many examples of its application, stories, humour and hints and tips. You may, first, like to read this story: http://www.emofree.com/a/?3252/Performance/stage-fright-melody.htm and then follow the links on the left of the page to What is EFT, Learn EFT and Free Manual.
@amlegend (945)
• Pakistan
10 Oct 08
that is something relatively new to me and thank you so much for sharing. will go through it. good luck!
2 people like this
@owlwings (39614)
• Cambridge, England
11 Oct 08
Thank you for BR (though there were many other worthy candidates). I do hope that you will find that EFT opens new doors for you as it has for me!
@amlegend (945)
• Pakistan
11 Oct 08
indeed dear and i like the url that you shared and i really benefited from it and hopefully anyone who reads this discussion can also benefit from it. thanks again for sharing. you deserved it
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Oct 08
I learned how to speak in front of public by taking public speaking 101. I love talking in front of people now. You just have to practice you know. It's a way of life. You'll need to talk in front of people often so you should be immune to it.
@amlegend (945)
• Pakistan
10 Oct 08
it is a part of life and one has to face it and it's just the first time that is most difficult and then you get a feeling of it.
1 person likes this
@webeishere (36353)
• United States
10 Oct 08
I have never known there was a class for this. I did not nor need it but it's good to know this anyhow. Thanks. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@lrglara (1343)
• Philippines
9 Oct 08
i've never talked in front in thousands of people but i think i confident enough to talk in front of a crowd. in the church, i usually talk to the church members about church activities and stuff. in school, i've spoke in front of my classmates and that's about it. all im saying is, everyone can overcome it and it is one of the skills that everyone MUST have! try to think of the crowd as all of your friends. you're obviously confident in front of your friends so think about them as that! :) that's all i can think about because that's all i've done so far and it never failed me yet! :)
2 people like this
@amlegend (945)
• Pakistan
9 Oct 08
that is some true self confidence and when you can address your classmates than you be better off in the showdown to the crowd. i myself was very afraid on my first presentation and i was shaking but it went so good after the first few words that came out of my mouth and now i am ok with it and building my confidence. good luck to you
2 people like this
@lrglara (1343)
• Philippines
10 Oct 08
well, its been very difficult initially. good thing my mom is supportive and sometimes help me practice during reports and presentations. but like i said, we all have to overcome it sometime and all it takes is practice. good luck to you too! see you around! :)
2 people like this
• Singapore
10 Oct 08
I'm an ex-school teacher. You must think that I won't have any problems speaking in front of a live audience. No way! I'm terrified of going on stage to address a large crowd. It's okay if they are students, still I get the jitters. I had to do that a couple of times at school. But if I would have to do it in front of thousands of adults, I will have to really psyche myself up for the event. I just can't seem to do it. In my mind, what would all of them be thinking of me? But what if one day I become famous and people want to hear what I want to say. I think I would need a lot of practice.
@amlegend (945)
• Pakistan
10 Oct 08
i can understand and being a teacher and always in the spotlight ain't an easy job and requires lot of temper and skill and you can be asked what is least expected and it is a highly respected profession to me.we all need practice! good luck
1 person likes this
@rymebristol (1788)
• Philippines
10 Oct 08
the only thing i hate about public speaking is the feeling of getting nervous, i really don't know why people are so afraid about speaking in front of several or thousands of people when all you have to do is to deliver whatever you have to say. i've been to quite a lot of public speaking events, specially during in my college days (running for student council). but the thing i hate about public speaking is getting so nervous once i'm in front of the audience, even knowing that i am full rehearsed for the event. i think it's unexplainable why we get nervous. maybe because we have doubt that we may not pleased everyone! hope this will help! chEErs!
@amlegend (945)
• Pakistan
10 Oct 08
yes been prepared and you know it too and still you are shaking, it is really a strange thing but yet it happens and it is in a way useful as well because it gets you going and many times the wrong words slip out and then you wake up!
1 person likes this
• India
10 Oct 08
i am very afraid of public speaking. but i came over it by making friends and disccusing with friends and also my lot
2 people like this
@amlegend (945)
• Pakistan
10 Oct 08
yes indeed mylot can help and good luck
1 person likes this
@nomokk (28)
• China
10 Oct 08
This is a big issue for me too. When I face people,I don't know how to keep my eye sight,direct to his/her eyes or just avoid him/her.
2 people like this
@amlegend (945)
• Pakistan
10 Oct 08
i will say that you look at their faces and consider them as just seats with cushions or head rests. i tried it for the a few times and it did help me as you need to make a connection with your audience and to get their attention.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Oct 08
I used to have a fear of public speaking....but i started playing football and i love playing in front of crowds..it carried over to school and other functions...now i can speak to whoever wherever...lol....I think people who have limited or lass vocabulary skills tend to be more shy...the more extensive your vocab is the more likely you are able to speak in front of crowds
2 people like this
@amlegend (945)
• Pakistan
10 Oct 08
this is also a good reason and teamwork can help us improve.
1 person likes this
@samijo719 (1054)
• United States
9 Oct 08
I am terrifed to speak in front of people. I don't know why. There really isn't one reason where I know that's why I'm afraid. The whole thought just makes me all anxious and stressed! Maybe i'm afraid of failure or sounding dumb or something I'm not sure. In situations where I have HAD to do I just try to breathe in and out and tell myself to relax and everything will be fine. It always turns out okay. It's just getting to the being okay after part that's hard!
@amlegend (945)
• Pakistan
10 Oct 08
it is very easy for others to say that be confident, you are good and you can make it but then when you reach the occasion there you are and no more advises.now the stage is yours and you gotta show that you know all and can express yourself. it is you only and it is really difficult to face an audience for the first time and then you get used to it. and breathing hard does help!
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
10 Oct 08
for me, i'm only afraid 30% of public speaking, 70% afraid when it comes to start the public speaking.. and it going to decrease when get response and feedback from audience.. just be brave to face it... when it be routine in our life, we will confident to face thounsand of people n front of us..
2 people like this
• United States
10 Oct 08
You can put fear of public speaking at the list of my wants to overcome. I have gotten better over the years speaking in the hospitals where I work. I think it has gotten easier because I am well educated on the topics I cover. So no fear really that I can get hit with a question that I can't answer (at least most of the time). Although it has happened. Take a deep breath and go for it- its not so bad once you get going!
@gracie04 (4555)
• Philippines
10 Oct 08
I had a public speaking class wayback in college but it didn't help me to overcome my fear... you know, i still feel nervous when talking in front of many people. i always get butterflies in my stomach...
• India
11 Oct 08
Hmm abt public speaking i want to tell u tht when i was of in teenage i was little affraid talking in public giving speeches even in schools....i had lack of confidence in me....but as grown up i felt more confident to face the people in public meetings...U knw confidence is the basic need to stand in public..if u have tht in u then u r done!!!btw i m now able to speak openly on any issue in public meeting...i don't fear ....one more thing if u don't have enough knowledge of wht to say then there is surely a lack of confidence in u.....Good luck!!
1 person likes this
@amlegend (945)
• Pakistan
11 Oct 08
what we talk, it should make sense until you are in your sense haha yes it is all about giving it a go and only you need few things for motivation and then the world is yours! good luck to you!
@ea6069 (10)
• United States
9 Oct 08
I am definitely afraid of public speaking? In my opinion I am very intelligent. If it were not for my fear of public speaking I probably would have accomplished so much more than I could ever dream of. I believe the reason this is ranked #1 is because we are living in a society that continues to become more and more isolated. For example, we spend more and more time on the internet communicating rather than speaking face to face.
@amlegend (945)
• Pakistan
9 Oct 08
welcome to mylot and yes the reason you gave is very close to the reality. isolation and sitting on the computer and sharing your views is easy but to stand in public and addressing them takes some guts to do. good luck to you nice that you know your points to work on..
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Oct 08
I'm such a big ham, I've never been really afraid of public speaking!! oh sure, you get a little nervous, but if you have an audience interested in what you are saying, and you are a prepared speaker, there's nothing to be afraid of!!! I guess the best way to overcome this fear is to practice, practice, practice...you can use 3x5 notecards with key sentences on them, to keep you on course, but after you've done public speaking for a while, you will not even need that!! again, being prepared is key!!.. Practice in front of a mirror, to see that you don't have any gestures, etc., that may look weird.......better yet ask friends and family to critique you....even record the speech if you like, to see just how you sound...and of course you could always record yourself on your computer with the camera (can you tell I'm older and not too familiar with some of this new stuff?? LOL).....the main thing is, be yourself!!!!!! and NEVER NEVER look anyone in the eye!!!! it will be terribly distracting!!! believe me, I know....ALWAYS look right over the heads of the audience.....that way they think you are really looking at someone; they have no idea that you are not!!!....and sometimes the old trick of imagining everyone sitting there in there underwear can help, but it never worked for me..........come on, you can do it!!!!!!!
1 person likes this
@clear786 (38)
10 Oct 08
it can the most horrible terrible thing that i can even think of. i am very afraid of it and i can't help myself and i have gained some information from this discussions and seems like i am not only the one afraid of it and trying to improve and some suggestions are really good.hopefully this fear will last some time more in our hearts as we are more and more using technology and our interaction with humans is decreasing. maybe it the cause of it good luck to me!
1 person likes this
@Zezloler (497)
• United Arab Emirates
14 Nov 08
I do have that fear, I think I'm horribly afraid of public speaking. At school a few months ago, my English teacher made my class write a quiz to see how afraid of public speaking we were, and I got the highest mark. XD I think that most people (including myself) are afraid of public speaking because all the attention is focused on them. They know that if they say something weird or mess up, they can't find a way around it, or if they say something insufficient, people will think less of them. I find that the easiest way to improve is practice. When I gave my first presentation at school last year, I did horrible. The next time, I practiced a lot and actually knew what I was talking about. The result wasn't perfect, but it was a significant improvement to last time. I think that getting accustomed to public speaking is the way to overcome it. ^_^