How's your relationship with your grown children?

United States
October 13, 2008 7:16pm CST
I have three grown chidren and three different relationships. They have always been very different and even more so since they have grown up. My daughter is the oldest and we have a wonderful relationship. She is my best friend. It sure wasn't always that way. I love and respect her and I know she feels the same way toward me. We talk on the phone a lot as she lives about 60 miles away and finances don't allow for many visits. My oldest son is married and living almost 1,000 miles away. He has three wonderful children whom I wish I could see more often. I love him dearly and have more respect for him than I ever dreamed was possible, as he was my problem child growing up. I call then often, but find myself talking to their answering machine a lot due to the kids extra-curricular activities. Then there is my youngest son. He lives even farther away and is trying to get his life together before starting a family. We talk on the phone almost daily and quite often more than once a day. He shares best friend status with my daughter, but they are different. What kind of relationship do you have (or want to have) with your grown children? Are they your best friends or do they seem too busy with their own life to bother with you? How much effort do you feel you put in to make your relationship successful?
1 person likes this
2 responses
• United States
14 Oct 08
I have one son,27 and one daughter,23. My relationship with them has always been pretty good. When they were both away from home, my son called me everyday, just to hear Mommy's voice, and to be assured that he could make it in the world. My daughter called two or three times a week, for some of the same reasons. When things kind of fell apart for both of them, they moved back in with us. It's not easy having them here, sometimes, but, our family is close, so we do have a lot of laughs. My daughter tells me all the time that she's glad that I am her mom, and her friend. My son is a bit of a redneck, and we butt heads alot, but in the end, he is giving me a hug, telling me he loves me and he's glad I had him. I am proud of the progress they have both made the last two years, proud of the fact that they've pulled themselves up, taken care of their problems, and are both working towards being out in the world, on their own, again. I will miss them terribly when this happens, but it is time, and they need to have complete, and full lives. How much effort do I have to put into making these relationships successful? Not much, really, we are family and a loving one, at that. That makes it easy to have a good relationship with my kids.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Oct 08
I am happy for you. I see too many families that don't get along. It is good to hear from a loving and accepting mom.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Oct 08
They're my babies, ya know? My family is the most important thing in the world to me.
• United States
21 Oct 08
Yep! I sure do know. My daughter, age 28, will always be my baby. And now that she has babies of her own, she understands why.
1 person likes this
@flowerchilde (12520)
• United States
21 Oct 08
I think my daughter, age 26 in a week, has finally gotten over her "I hate stupid mom" phase! Thank goodness! My son never went through that phase.. However, I was too easy on my kids and now I still am.. lending them money even when I can't afford it.. babysitting.. But hey! Your kids are your kids! Who else are ya gonna spoil? (Well, there's always the grandkids!)
• United States
21 Oct 08
Does your daughter have kids of her own yet? That always helps to bring them out of that stage! lol As far as grandkids go, I have 8 of them. They multiply rather quickly and get very expensive, very fast! The great thing is 1) you can always send them home & 2) you don't have to PAY the babysitter! lol I love to babysit the grandbabies, it gives me quality time with them. It is a good thing all around. Rev Wendy
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Oct 08
My daughter now has two kids.. and both they and also our son (28) still live at home! Usually that's a good thing.. and we sure have been close to our grand daughter, and now we have a new grand daughter who is a month old.. My daughter goes back to work in a couple of weeks and I'm looking forward to the babysitting.. My daughter 'confessed' not so long ago that she takes out frustrations on me, cause she knows I'll forgive her! She's trying hard these days.. And things have been much better.. But when she was pregnant, boy oh boy did her critical side come out against everyone! We all nicely let her know that her attitudes were not the most attractive.. (even if she was very pregnant those last two months!)