problems with step-children

United States
October 18, 2008 8:13pm CST
I just recently got married and now have two children of my own and two step-children. My step-son I have no problem with he is a great kid and very respectful. Now my step daughter who is 9 I have problems with. She never grew up with her mom and she calls me mom but she seems to always want to argue and she is very nosy. If her dad tells her to do something she does it no questions asked but when I tell her to do something she gets an attitude, makes me mad, and then I punish her such as grounding going to bed early etc. When I tell her dad he doesn't mind that I punished her but he doesnt say anything to her about it to back me up either. Another problem, when her dad and I are alone or when we have guests over she is very nosy. She always wants to know what others are talking about even if it has nothing to do with her and she always wants to add to the conversation. We are constantly reminding her that is rude to do that but it still continues. One last issue is I have a 3 year old daughter who looks up to her and has picked up many of her bad habits. My daughter was always so sweet and she still is but once in awhile she will get the same attitude as my step daughter and I dont know how to stop this since they are always together. Also my step daughter steals money from my 3 year old. Whenever my daughter gets money, usually a couple dollars her or there for from her grandparents, I have to put it away in my room so she won't take it from her. Does anybody have any advice!?
1 person likes this
3 responses
ladysurvivor
@ladysurvivor (4746)
• Malaysia
12 Nov 08
Wow. This problem is quite serious. I mean she is still young but she is old enough to think the good from the bad. This is the beginning of teenage years and if you don't do something at this moment, it will be too late when she turns 11 or 12. I suggest that you talk to her father (now he is your husband, isn't it?) about her attitude. Discuss with him about your fears and what she has been doing to your 3 year old daughter. Tell him you love his kids the same like you love your kids, but she has to respect you the way your kids respect you. Tell him it is important for you if he backup you so that she will know her father is in your side. By doing this, she will not feel she has the power to overrule you as the mother in the house. I believe if you talk nicely, your husband will understand.
Sandy KS
@rusty2rusty (6751)
• Defiance, Ohio
28 Oct 08
For one I will say having stepkids is not easy. I have a blended family myself. Your husband needs to step in and back you up. Even if it just means talking to the girl and making sure she understands that the dad will back you up. If not when she becomes a teen you will have problems. I am speaking from experience here. I have a question, is your stepdaughter hyper or have any troubles in school? She could have Adhd which would explain the argueing, being nosey and having to be told the same thing over and over. You may want to talk to her doctor about this to keep tabs on. Or could be troubles in the future. Also do you think your stepmdaughter does this stuff just for attention? If so, she may not realize that it is bad attention and the wrong kind. Than you will have to teach her what good attention is and bad attention will get her ignored.
annjilena
@annjilena (5618)
• United States
19 Oct 08
dad is going to have to step up to the plate and help you. your husband and you have to be together when disciplining her he has to back you up are it,s only going to get worse as she get older.together talk with her and let her no this will not be tolerated she can no longer be disrespectiful dad has to say these things and let her know she will not be getting her way and she has to mind both of you she still thinks you are divided you are married she has to except that.her bad way is affecting your daughter you know the saying bad aassociation spoils youthiful habits.since she is with your daughter she will start acting out also this has to stop.good-luck to you god bless and your family.