Should you be friends with people who only talk to you when they want something?

Philippines
October 19, 2008 8:53am CST
Should you be friends with someone who only wants anything to do with you when you can do something for them? Or, those who want to talk to you when they need a "sounding board" but when it's you who wants to let off some steam, they always have to go or that they have things to do? I meet a lot of them almost on a daily basis. I can be casual with these people but I do not think that I would ever be real friends with them.
5 people like this
30 responses
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
19 Oct 08
I could not call those types of people friends either. they just want to use you for what you can do for them.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Oct 08
I wonder if these people have real friends...
@gemini_rose (16194)
19 Oct 08
Most of my life has consisted of being around these sorts of people! I gave up in the end because it is just not worth it. It is impossible to be friends with people like that, at the end of the day they are not interested in friendship only in what can be gained for them out of it.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Oct 08
It's sad that there are people who only remember us when they are in dire need of something...
@msedge (4012)
• United States
2 Feb 09
I also had encounter this kind of people.I think they are selfish.They are only nice when they need something from you.They are not good people nor a good friend.Its better to avoid them.
@williamjisir (22903)
• China
3 Nov 08
Hello dolce. Yeah, I have some friends and students like this as well and I have to say that it is the same with me. We would contact each other more often when we need some help from each other, but as to usual days if we are busy, we usually send text messages or email to each other once in a while, especially on festivals and holidays. Good day to you.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Oct 08
If I were to treat them as friends, surely it would be considered a one way friendship. It would be as if it is only I who has concerns and would want to spend some real time with them. Simply put, they are nothing but leech, who suck the blood out of your system.
1 person likes this
• Canada
13 Dec 10
I have no time to deal with people who are only interested in my friendship when they want something. There is a guy like that living in our building, and he drives me nuts. If he comes near me again, I'm going to get my lawyer after him.
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
21 Oct 08
[i]Hi dolce, In my whole life, I met only one and she was once a close friend! When I found out that she was this type, I started to set limitations and I warned other friends about her attitude but some of them told me, we need to lower down for her since she was like this and that....but after 3 or 4 months, those friends who stick to her talked to me and revealed or shared their disappointments..LO[/i]L!
• China
20 Oct 08
I hate the people who only talk to you when they want something.I have experienced before when i went to colleage . then i felt lonely and he went to my life .He took care of me and bought something to me .i am grateful and as a real friend.but late he want to get benefit for me constantly. but it is so difficult to say no .So i never count on he thougt i am in some of need.
@maroseqf (3657)
• Philippines
20 Oct 08
i am not really sure what to say. maybe - because they probably have a reason for acting that way. i think they need the help of someone who will understand them and try to make them realize that what they are doing is quite not right. but you know, we are only humans and there are times that we get to hate those kind of people especially when they become abusive.
@animeniak (425)
• United States
20 Oct 08
They aren't really friends, they are probably one of those greedy kind of jerks who just want some piece of your something, and not give a rat's @$$ about you. I have seen several people who really don't talk to me at all, and they just come up to me and ask me for something, chances are, they are either jealous that I have something that they want, so they want the piece of that, or they are just acting nice or whatnot. In my own rule of making friends, I should never be friends with people who are just acting nice to me, when they just want some piece of something I have. That is just wrong! If they want my help, they are more than welcome to get my help, but what if I get nothing in return? What if I don't at least get their appreciation for what I have done to them to benefit them? Would you want to friends with those kind of people? I have voted yes back when I was young (I was at the learning stage, so there) but now I vote no, and I will vote no to that for the rest of my life... !!!!
@lou_66 (909)
20 Oct 08
yeah still talk 2 them but only wen u need something. dont rely on that kind ov person 2 much and dont amke the mistake ov thinking that they r ur friends
@SangsTurks (1447)
• India
20 Oct 08
Now-a-days it is very difficult to find friend who dosn't want anything from you but just your friendship. In todays world nothing is done for NOTHING!! Everything is donr for a shelfish reason. I can count my friend in one hand!! Althought i have a lot of friends but just a few who i can actually call and mean FRIENDS!! If i see that someone is trying to have their way out with me i just say a bland NO on thrie face and walk out. Though this seems a bit rude but i think it is the right way to deal with people who think they are really smart and can have their way out with anything and anybody.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
20 Oct 08
it si something i did till few yrs back. but now i do not do so. atleast try not to repeat the same.atleast i try to. i do not believe that always friends will take advantage of me
@mimico (3619)
• Philippines
20 Oct 08
Of course not. I could be fake friends with him or her but not a real friend. People who use me just because they need something aren't worth my time at all. I don't even want to help out those who suddenly show up in times of need. Of course, I can make exceptions if the person has always been nice to me.
@icegermany (2524)
• India
20 Oct 08
i dont think that it is important that we speak someone when required for a purpose and consider them as friends. there are so many people we require them for a purpose, we have some work and we need to contact them and complete the work so in this way we meet people but we cant make them as our friends as it is only the work we have to get it done and there is no any requirement that we have to make them our friends or so and it is not important. we consider our friends to those people who are really close to us, we feel very comfortable with them, we share our feelings and thoughts, and they are the one who understand us and help us all the time and this particular position in life is given through our hearts to someone and it cannot be forced to be done. it is a special place which we give to our friends whom we really trust on.
• India
20 Oct 08
i think we should really be frank with them tell them that are they faking to be a friend or they really want a friendship it happens a lot of time with me and dont like them
@Daffodil20 (1754)
• India
20 Oct 08
Those who talk to us only when they want something, are not fit to be called our friends. I know it too. But then it is so difficult to say no either. But in our hearts we know that they are selfish people and we can never count on them if ever we are in some kind of need. These friends can never be relied upon. But breaking ties is something which is unpleasant and because of that I let the person be.
@calyxus (827)
• Philippines
20 Oct 08
thats very awful... i mean people who would only talk to you in times of need? i know people who are like that. you know, we don't really have to take them seriously. Especially when they do not show gratitude to things we do for them. The remedy would be not to help them anymore. But that will also be in conflict with the laws of love. Well, what the heck, just ignore them!
@snpyvin (1518)
• Malaysia
20 Oct 08
As you concern most people are like this. For example like now you may say i interested to your topic so i response over here but in fact i am thinking to earn more by responding you. Its just the way how you think about people. If you see it on the way you do now you will feel that most people close to you because there is a motive behind. Who know one day you might need them too. The world is round and people is still people there might be some that are not this kind of people but just get use to it. I ever experience this too.
@fordham08 (131)
• Philippines
20 Oct 08
I wouldn't be friends with these kind of people. These people are energy drainers. They just use you, they waste your time and energy, sometimes even money. So, no, I wouldn't even dream of being friends with these people.