Mind Games in relationships

@alokn99 (5717)
India
October 31, 2008 4:41am CST
Is playing mind games with a partner a way of adding spice,fun and interest to a relationship. Or Is it an issue of control, vulnerability and insecurities ? What are your views and experiences ?
5 people like this
9 responses
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
31 Oct 08
It all depends on the context of the mind games being played really! Using mind games to torment a partner with ill intentions is obviously a negative thing to be doing; but using mind games to play around with them a little is perfectly harmless and can be a lot of fun. For example, knowing that your partner doesn't like a certain food yet eating it in front of them while teasing them about how great it tastes and how they should try some is in a sense a mind game because you know that you are tormenting them but it's perfectly harmless. But on the flip side, knowing a specific partner weakness and exploiting it just to be nasty or to make them feel bad is not on.
2 people like this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
31 Oct 08
A little bit of harmless teasing once in a way is fine James. But it's strange that inspite of knowing thier partners very well, people sometimes do not know when to draw the line. And I think that is where the insecureties come into play or maybe even the egoes. Thanks for the repsonse.
2 people like this
@balasri (26554)
• India
12 Nov 08
I think that you don't have to play any mind games to make a relationship interesting.Be yourself care and love the person with all your heart.This is my style.
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
12 Nov 08
Being your self. Yes undoubtedly the best style, Bala. Thanks
1 person likes this
@rusty2rusty (6769)
• Defiance, Ohio
2 Nov 08
I think it really depnds on the couple. If both parties are willing to play the game. Than it can add spice, fun and be interesting. But if one person is not willing to play these games in the relationship. Than you have someone with control issues, insecurities and other crap. if you see the later run the opposite way as fast as you can to get awya from that person.
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
2 Nov 08
Willingness and understanding have to be there. Thanks
2 people like this
@SaintAnne (5453)
• United States
1 Nov 08
When I think of mind games, then I think it's an issue of control, vulnerability and insecurities. Once in a while, I'd say something to Boyfriend to see how he would react. What do I get out of it? Sometimes, it makes me feel that I am still the one in control in this relationship, sometimes it comforts me, answering my doubts whether Boyfriend really loves me or not (he does!). Although I know this to be so, I still can't help but be the mean one in this relationship most of the time. Yes, I am.
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
1 Nov 08
It's good that you recognise it. Atleast one knows when to stop before it gets into something nasty. A little bit to feel good once in a while it fun though. Thanks
2 people like this
@anonymili (3138)
31 Oct 08
I don't think mind games are appropriate in a loving relationship. If you are committed to someone and love them, why would you want to hurt them? Mind games can be hurtful and can also cause lasting damage - to be honest, I don't think mind games are appropriate with in kind of relationship, be it marriage, friends, colleagues or just casual acquaintances - I don't think nice decent people need to do that at all :)
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
1 Nov 08
I very much agree with your views. Thanks for the response.
2 people like this
• India
31 Oct 08
Teasing and troubling are part of a good relationship as long as they are doen in a sportign manner and wihout any ulterior motive. if you truly love your partner and and in a lastign relationship it is often good tokeep them on their toes. if you make it too dificult houwever, the chances fo the relationship breaking always are there so better be careful and do not over do it.
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
1 Nov 08
Recognising where to draw the line is important otherwise the possibility of the break in the relationship as you say is always there. Thanks
2 people like this
@subha12 (18453)
• India
31 Oct 08
it depends on mind setting of both parties. so its something that is dependent on the situation. it can be fun, or it can result in dismal issue
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
31 Oct 08
It does depend on the situation Subha. Thanks
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
31 Oct 08
I personally am not one for mindgames..I think they are vicious to be honest with you...Toying with each other in a playful manner is something completely different and IMO NOT the same as mindgames...In my experience mindgames are ALWAYS done out of meanness and never out of fun...
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
31 Oct 08
I guess all of us have our own experiences and most of them are unpleasant ones in this reference. With the intention of meanness, one should never toy with the feelings of a partner. Thanks,appreciate it.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
31 Oct 08
I think playing mind games with a partner depends upon the nature and tolerance of both the partners. If both are broad minded and love fun activities and teasing in right sprits, then it could have positive impact on their relationship, otherwise, playing mind games with the partner could be counter-productive. One need to be very smart and clever for playing mind games with his/her partner, otherwise he would get could in his/her own web. I, on my part, very rarely play mind games because I personally believe that playing mind games is a kind of negative trait and I always believe in positive traits.
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
31 Oct 08
pl. read "get caught...."
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
31 Oct 08
Most of the time it turns out to be counter productive. It's always good to believe and follow the positive traits dpk. Thanks
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
10 Nov 08
I buy your argument.