How do you NOT know you have to go? Warning... Bathroom Humor
By dizzblnd
@dizzblnd (3073)
United States
November 1, 2008 8:29am CST
This actually happened to me yesterday! So there I am at work. I just got back from a Mexican restaurant where I had lunch.
I went to the restroom because I had to pee (or so I thought) so I go in the first stall.
I assume the position, (ladies, you know the one) then out of nowhere... you guessed it. BAM! Now.... if I HAD known I had to do THAT (again, how can you not know?) .. This is how i would have handled it:
I would go to the very last (poopie stall as I call it.) If there is lysol (or other spray) available I will spray the hell out of the area before I clear the log jam. Then I let it rip. During, I will give a courtesy flush, and another spray. After, I will spray again and flush however many times is necessary to remove all lingering evidence not flushed down the 1st 4 times.
Then, I wash my hands and I make my escape. I open the door a crack, see if the coast is clear and run like hell. Watching my back to make sure no one saw me. Then I sneak out the back door, go around front and pretend like I went to get something out of my car.
But this time I didn't have any warning.. so I feel sorry for whomever walked in after me.
Afterwords, of course I had to find out if I was the only weird one that to have this happen. So I asked a friend (who went to lunch with me) if this has happened to her as well.. she told me, "yes, just yesterday" and she was at work when it happened.
As luck would have it, as I was telling her how I would have gone to the "poopie stall", my boss walked up behind me just when I uttered those words. My boss turned around and went back into her office. I was so embarrassed, I said "Oh my God, I can't believe I said 'poopie stall' and my boss heard me."
You guessed it, the 2nd time I said it, she was behind me again... I then quickly slinked back to my seat.. my co-worker laughing her @ss off!
3 hours later, that same friend just came to me and said it happened to her "just now"!
There was no sense of ANYTHING to indicate that anything more than a quick tinkle was going to happen
Again, I ask.. how could you NOT know? Has it happened to you?
3 people like this
9 responses
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
1 Nov 08
LMAO...it doesn't sound like you have any luck with chili or mexican food! I hope you studied up on my Passing Blame techniques. If you are in a public restroom, simply wait for the change in users, and blame the person who left before you. Try it, it's easy. Just tell some one (while you're fanning your face), that you'd had to hold your breath until they left, because you'd have laughed at them if you'd met face to face.
Your boss will probably watch for when you go to the bathroom & avoid it at all costs, but if you can convince people that she is the culpret - you get extra points. Of course, you'd have to be very subtle.
Be careful of carrying matches or similar materials. If CNN reports that a building imploded from inside, originating in the restroom...I'd miss you! 
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
2 Nov 08
Hey dizz! You had me roflmao! I just loved your story!
Mostly because I really could identify with it! I know
just what you mean about not know! It can happen when
you eat that kind of food! It is like a torpedo when it
wants to fire out of you! It gives no warning signals,
it just shoots! It's happened to me many times! Believe
me it was the food! Oh, and I also have the "poopie stall".
Has to be the last stall too! So we have alot in common!
2 people like this
@CinderInMySoul (4717)
• United States
2 Nov 08
lol oh dear how embarrassing! i bet your boss was embarrassed to have heard it though. i can honestly say that i cannot recall a time when i did NOT know what i was going to "do" when i got in the bathroom. course i dont have the best of memories and perhaps i have blocked it out for reasons unknown lol!
1 person likes this
@underdogtoo (9579)
• Philippines
2 Nov 08
Thanks for the warning. I don't care for bathroom humor and I am sure there is a lot of humor in your story which will have to be lost on me. I skipped right to the end where I rated and responded. Cheers!!
We can't all have the same sick demented sense of humor.. the world would be a scary place! 
I will have to remember to warn if I ever post something like that again 
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
2 Nov 08
In the words of the 60s singer Donovan Dizz: "Even the greatest heroes had to sh!t and pee". It has happened to me. Once on a busy London train station during a bout of food poisoning. I was the one with clenched buttocks shuffling towards the Gents restroom where I spent the next 45 minutes!
1 person likes this
@ZephyrSun (7381)
• United States
1 Nov 08
I don't know how one would not know. Hasn't happened yet, maybe when I'm older? lmao
Your poor boss 1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
5 Dec 08
It's things like this that make me happy I'm not working in a office or business. If I go to the bathroom and it's more than a tinkle then it's no big deal. I will say I have been out shopping and felt the urge to do more than tinkle and I will cut the shopping short to go home and take care of business simply b/c I don't like using public restrooms for anything more than a quick tinkle. As for not being able to tell, I haven't had that happen but I probably wouldn't be happy about it. Oh, and perhaps your boss now thinks you have a "poopie stall" fixation.
[b]MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG AND TRUST IN GOD**[/b]
@peedielyn (1207)
• United States
2 Nov 08
I am about to die laughing. My face hurts. I have had this happen a few times--I call it the weird forces of nature! It's about time that we all laugh about the wonders of the natural body! This is hilarious. I would have loved to been a fly on the wall when your boss heard you say it. To see the faces.....Have a good one--no pun intended! LOL!
@ediblecottoncandie (109)
• United States
1 Nov 08
Lol, funny story. I don't know how :\
Maybe your body doesn't recognize it yet until you actually spread your cheeks and things start to push. lol
