Calling all parents..I need help

The highs and lows reminds me of my daughter. Have you had her tested for being Bi-Polar? Our daughter is, but we didnt find out until she got in a lot of trouble. Not saying yours will just that is how we finally found out when we pushed to have her tested. Regular depression is mainly just lows that is why I was asking. I wish I had some magic wand that would produce the right answer as I know how hard it is on us parents when we cant fix our kids. It also sounds like she could have low self-esteem, again I dont know what the answer for that one is as our one daughter is like that too, she has a few things. It isnt us as parents either as we have 7 and she is the only one with all these problems. I didnt know about alot of this stuff until it was basically to late so Im glad that you called the doctors. Until you see him that is all you can really do to see what is wrong medically. As for being mom, just let her know that you are there. Which we know you do =)

to be more connected.the child lies that is many reasons.as a daughter ,she lies to get her way.the reason why she does i find is you and your daughter have a gap.you are in happy life to be a new mom.you should know your daughter's mind and her interests to satisfied her.when you are finding her unnormal actions you will talk to her quitely ,and find out the reason.and the conversation makes your mom-daughter relation stronger and stronger.

I think if you get her in to counseling it will help. Also try getting her into peer groups. Were she is able to interact with other children. Places like the ymca, or the united way. Try getting her involved in clubs, or sports, something that she really enjoys. Schools here have different clubs that kids can join, so they can interact. Depression is a hard thing to deal with, and I think the main thing is to be a good ear. When she needs to vent, or she is just feeling alone. I suggest having her start a journal to write down everything she feels, and share it with her counselor. When I was younger and had depression, that is what I did, and everyday I would rate my mood on a scale of 1-5, and then say why it was that number. Good luck, and I hope things get better.

hello, Sorry i am not a mother yet but i would still like to help. I am sorry to hear that your daughter is not feeling well. I believe that what she needs is a close friend. Other then family members, she needs someone who have fun with her. I can sens that she feels lonely and nobody is there to support her at school. So yes you might send her to see a specialist. Next the problem should also be fixed. You should suggest her to find friends that share her likes. Maybe you can talk to her teacher and ask her/him to talk about this in class with other students. Of course, the teacher should just tell students how bad it is to bully students or it is important to help each other. When I was in high school, a student had the same situation as your daughter and one day she just started to burst in tears in class. After she told the teacher, he explained us about this matter. I believe it will make people more sensible to this. That girl was made fun because of her weight and nobody would talk to her. After what the teacher told us, the people who bullied her became friend with her and they apologized lol. Anyway, I think you should give it a try. I hope things will get better for her.

I know this is hard on you as a parent. I've haven't gone thru that yeat with my kids but put it into Gods hands and pray for her and tell her how much you love her always. I will be praying for her and God is my witness God bless u and wish u well.

sorry to hear that, but hope your daughter get happier soon. try to praise her when she does something wonderful. try to talk to her heart by heart try to hold a party, inviting her classmates or friends try to inspire her even she does something not very well

Poor thing, I feel for her. Maybe she could talk to a counselor at school. Some of the towns around here have peer counselors. Kids that are bit older and have gone through things similar to this. Maybe you could find one in your area. Sometimes it is easier to talk to another kid.

I am so sorry to hear you have to see this happen to your child. This happen to my son too at 12-13 yrs old. Do you know if something happen that caused her to feel less of herself? Sometimes an event can make a child doubt themselves. If no one plays with her, try to reach out to the other kids in school and be friend the parents too, and get her invited to more outings. I hope this helps. My son hurt himself and cried a lot and all of it has to do with a girl he liked in school, they broke up and he was pretty depressed for a long time. Now he seems ok and not as sensitive. He was the same way, no on said he was stupid, but he swore they called him stupid. Kids have a great imagination and they will use it to their advantage and sometimes that does not always help them. Another source you can look at, schools offer free counseling service too. Call you school and ask for your daughter to receive services. Sometimes if your daughter will not talk to you, but she may tell the counselor if something is not working out to her desire making her depressed. I hope you seek help soon. Good luck and I will pray for you.

She definitely needs somebody to talk to. I don't know how sudden this came on, but maybe something happened in school? Obviously she thinks the whole world thinks she is stupid. How many friends did she have in school before? Why did she lose them? Our school has a school counselor. I think that would be my first step to arrange counseling with. I would also try and talk with the teacher to see what he/she has observed in class or heard about that might give you a clue as to what is going on. You stated you encountered this with your son when he was a teenager. Keep in mind that girls mature earlier and also the hormones kick in earlier. Her menstruation may be a long way off, but often the hormonal mess starts much earlier. So nine is not necessarily unusual for that. It could of course be something psychological like anxiety disorder, panic attacks, depression... An evaluation by a professional may indeed be in order. At least you'd also get some help in trying to reach your daughter and to get her out of this. I'll keep you guys in my prayers. I hope things will look up soon. Please keep us updated.

I was like that at a very early age, perhaps 9 or ten. My mom always told me that it was just my age and that I didn't have any real problems. I cut myself from the age of 12 until I was 18 and my husband finally got me to stop. It is a real problem. It is a hormone thing(she will probably start a period soon if she hasn't already). It is a hard thing to deal with. My mom didn't care, didn't recognize any problems and said it was all in my head and I still suffer from clinical depression. The important thing is: you are recognizing a problem and trying to find a solution. The first thing is to get her into a doctor appointment and a mental health professional. They will be able to help. Another thing, as a mother(obviously loving), you give her support. Mental support. It is a huge thing to her to be able to feel that you love her unconditionally despite how others feel. I wish you the best of luck, as I have been there, and it sounds to me that you will find the right solution. I only hope that I can give my daughters the self confidence that I never had and still dont have.....

That was really hard to handle. As what my advice can give you is just always pray to God for her to become positive thinker. Try to talk to her always know what her true feelings toward herself. Sink into her situations as you were the one who experience that too and try to be her friend. Be with her as close as you can in any situation try your best. She was just a small kid. Time will come that negative emotions will fade away. I have a daughter like that when she was at age of 12 she taught to herself she was always wrong. No friends. Hated herself always and very seldom to smile. Like before I treated her like a military way no need to be wrong in this or that or what ever she use to do. Until she came to be a negative thinker in attitude and perfectionist. I'll changed my way in treating her I begun to be like her friend, let her tell me the story of what is going on to their schools and asking how many friends she has. I will be the one who changed a lot for her to change also her attitude toward positive from negative side of life. And I prosper the way I did. Please try some thing, examine first who needs to change. Ask God's assistance and guidance. Don't worry every thing will be okay.

i guess this is something all moms go though at some point in time. but as the saying goes---it's just a phase and it'll pass.but for us concerned mothers---we cant let this thing pass by not even trying to do something about it. i guess what you should do is spend more time with her. more quality time then quantity. it would also help to boost her ego a little by praising her for little things once in a while. just make her feel that she is not alone and that she is important and appreciated. once a child feels loved, all good things will follow. also, try to keep her busy with chores you can do together, make it a fun moment each time. it would take an extra effort, but it'll be worth it.

Depression isn't a thing to play with. My son was diagnosis with bi-polar, rage disorder and anti-social behaivor at 7. He was on different meds for years, some help, some didn't. He has seen counselers, psychi. and all that. Just keep yoru chin up, and guide your child along. Go to a psych. for kids and talk to them first, then if they think they need to see your child, they will say something. My son is doing great now, he is 19, off meds by his choice and finishing school. He has his ups and downs, and believe me his ups are driving me up the wall sometimes, but his lows are worse, now that he is older they are actually rages instead of crying...but he feels the same way as your daughter does (don't like self ect.) Good luck and keep us updated.

I also have kids with the same problems.But i'm luck having some friends i china so i sent mykids to china. Honestly, it's a good country and family for kids to grow up.just an advice.

I think your a wonderful mother your getting your daughter to the Dr and he or she will lead you from there. Some parents just let their kids suffer through teenage years alone, you doing the right thing. Things will work out it's just gonna take time and when she is older she will realize how much you cared for her at a time when she needed it the most. Just keep the door of communication open and accept her for who she is she is changing and becoming her own person she will do alright she has a great role model in you to help guide her. Good luck.

My daughter went through much of the same thing when she was about this age. It did concern me greatly because depression runs in our family. What I did to begin with was to get some ylang ylang and put it on a cotton ball and put it on her bedside table. I would also have her put a small drop on the back of her neck before going to bed. She also took St. John's Wort for a little while. And, someone else had the thought that it may be a hormonal mess. I know that you said the doctor said it was too early for that, but it is a possibility. We don't all follow the "rules" when it comes to hormonal changes. However, a therapist could be the answer, too. May I suggest that you take her to see a psychologist, and not a psychiatrist? A psychologist does not prescribe medications. Maybe if that doesn't work, then medications would be in order. I just hate to see medication used as the first line of treatment for a nine year old, ya know?

My Mom called this phase in my life, the pre-PMS stage. Your little girl may be beginning hormonal changes and doesn't understand. I have a cousin that begin her period at the age of 9, it can happen. I think you are doing the right thing by talking to a doctor. Whether or not it is the onset of puberty, it sounds like sher really needs someone to talk to outside of the home. Someone she feels will not judge her. My 8 year old son has a problem taking things to heart. If another kids even tries to joke with him, his feelings get hurt. He just started making friends reaaly good this year, when I signed him up for soccer. It gave him a team of people with common interests to be a part of. It really did make a wonderful difference in him.

Do not try to do anything riht now. Because It is goint to make ot worse. Specially do not take her to the doctor or anything. Becaus then she will make more anre more stories in her mind. She does already that is why she is like this. She makes stories in her mind which is not true that is why she is like this. What you got to do is. Leave her alone. Do whatever she wants and tell her how good she is and how succesfull she is I mean when she does something like picture. tell here it is the best photo you have ever seen. I mean talk to her in good way and tell her possitive things. In time the stories she made in her mind will not come true and she will learn. When I say stories. I mean that she thins it will be like this or somebody is thinkng that about her and more and more. trust me leave her alone and let her to see the stories she makes are not true. it is giong to stop. this happens to many children. do not make it worse.

Ugh! I feel for you! I was like her except I really WAS made fun of. I dread the day when my kids experience how cruel the world can be. Right now they're just 3 and 4. This is a hard one, you're right about that. She might be feeling like everyone is being critical of her and thinking bad things about her. I have that feeling a lot. With age I've tried to ignore that feeling in the back of my mind. It's difficult though. Not sure if this would help a 9 year old, but I know I've been told that thinking everyone is concentrating so much on what's wrong (or not wrong) with you is self-centered. Would it be harsh to tell her "they're worried about what's going on in they're lives, they don't care what you're wearing, what you look like (or whatever that day's problem is)." Of course you'd have to say all of this in the sweetest tone so she doesn't take it personally. But I had to learn to not be so concerned about what others were thinking and it has helped. Another thing that you may want to do is get her in some extra curricular activities. What about Karate? I've heard that increases self-confidence. Exercise is great for depression. AND it gives her some other kids to hang out with if she's not real fond of the kids at school. I always wished my mom would have been able to get me into activities. She was working so I couldn't do anything after school because I wouldn't have a ride home. I sure wished I could have done something though. Hope that helps! I'll be watching to see what other people recommend and your responses. Best wishes to you!!!