Do you have a friend like this.....?
By SketcherD
@SketcherD (1114)
Canada
November 21, 2008 11:29am CST
I have a friend that has lent me money in the past and when I don't get the money back to her/him they ask for it back within a week or so.
YET when I have lent them money they forget about it for months on end.
When I finally brought up the fact that they owed me money from August (it is now November) they said "Can I pay you in January? I won't be able to buy Christmas presents if I give you the $20 now!" What about me needing the money for Christmas presents? I know $20 doesn't go too far but REALLY!!!
I couldn't believe it!! 
I
Can you imagine? So now I will wait 5 months for $20. This person waited 2 weeks for to be paid back $28 that was loaned to me!! 
Yes I know you are probably thinking 'some friend' but this person is also an in law.
But now what? I already said yes to the waiting for 5 months do I say something the next time she loans me money?? Something like "No it takes too long for you to pay me back but I always have to pay you back immediately"???
I
Can you imagine? So now I will wait 5 months for $20. This person waited 2 weeks for to be paid back $28 that was loaned to me!!
Yes I know you are probably thinking 'some friend' but this person is also an in law.
But now what? I already said yes to the waiting for 5 months do I say something the next time she loans me money?? Something like "No it takes too long for you to pay me back but I always have to pay you back immediately"???4 people like this
20 responses
@ying_johnny (123)
• China
23 Nov 08
I also had met this kind of friend but I could deal with it in my way, that is, I dont want the money back again
2 people like this
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
25 Nov 08
I will really laugh if I do see this money back again!
I have kinda given up now. Who takes 5 months to pay back $20 after all?? 
I have kinda given up now. Who takes 5 months to pay back $20 after all?? 1 person likes this
@bing28 (3795)
• Philippines
22 Nov 08
yes there are really people that sometimes hard to understand their wrong doings. If you think this amount would be of really help to them this Christmas then understand them for the last time, then see to it that this would be the last time too you lend them. You're sacrifice would mean more blessings without knowing.
2 people like this
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
22 Nov 08
When she told me she couldn't buy Christmas presents if she paid me I felt so bad. But still it was only $20. 
It really shouldn't make a difference for either of us!!
It really shouldn't make a difference for either of us!!1 person likes this
@keelymcilwain (797)
• Canada
25 Nov 08
I have lent a friend three thousand dollars. She was five months late on paying me. In those five months she never once even tried to make a payment to me. I was pissed off. She finally paid me a lump sum and covered what she owed me. A few months later knowing she has still got 40 grand sitting in her bank I ask her to help me out with a 500 dollar payment on a visa bill I had put text books on for school. She absolutely refused to even give me money saying because she didn't pay me on time she thinks I just want the money so I can hold it back from her and make her feel what I had to feel. I was torn. I went and got myself into debt in my name to help a friend and then when I need help she cant even help me with a fraction of what I helped her with.
1 person likes this
@keelymcilwain (797)
• Canada
28 Nov 08
We have about 3 inches to 4 inhes of packed ie/ snow. nothing fluffy and fun yet.
1 person likes this
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
28 Nov 08
Well somehow I hope you know now that is not the kind of friend you need around you. That is a real shame. Especially with that amount of money involved. Sheesh!!!
1 person likes this
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
28 Nov 08
BTW it is nice to see another fellow Canadian on myLot!
We have snow staying on the ground already. Do you???
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
21 Nov 08
personally i wouldn't ask her to borry another dime & when she ask me i wouldn't have it to lend to her. she's takinf advantage of you.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
22 Nov 08
i believe i'd make up my mind to stop letting her do. don't let people use u like that. they don't think anymore of u for doing that.
1 person likes this
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
22 Nov 08
Yes she does take advantage of me on a regular basis!! I get so tired of it. 
2 people like this
@ShellyB (5241)
• United States
28 Nov 08
I will do not borrow or loan money to this person anymore.
I do not care if it is your in-law.
I am sure there are diplomatic ways of saying no to this person.
But the obvious one is this person takes too long to pay.
And if 20 dollars is all this person has for christmas it would be a good idea to skip 
1 person likes this
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
30 Nov 08
Yes I hear you ShellyB. I thought the same thing that if $20 was going to make or break Christmas present buying the wow don't even bother getting anything!!! BUT yesterday when we went shopping she spent over $20 in the stores on wrapping paper, bows, ribbon and tags!! LOL
I thought that part was hysterical!! I am actually not even mad about it! It is just way too funny to be mad about! I mean come on I am standing right here I see what you are buying!! Really now!
I thought that part was hysterical!! I am actually not even mad about it! It is just way too funny to be mad about! I mean come on I am standing right here I see what you are buying!! Really now! @guilleanne (1)
• Philippines
22 Nov 08
You just have to keep in mind never to loan her money again.. next time, just refuse like, say you dont extra money, or you have to buy something thats why you cant loan her today...
@keelymcilwain (797)
• Canada
25 Nov 08
I agree, once you lend someone money and they can't lend you money back I don't think they deserve your money the next time they need it.
** If you lend someone 20 bucks and you want it back real bad, just think it only cost you 20 bucks to keep them out of your life. You know they will stay away for a while because they owe you money and you know you wont have to feel the need to lend again to the same or other people.**
Once someone betrays your trust it's not worth it to put even a dime out on them. EVER.
@ladybug565 (2216)
• United States
22 Nov 08
I have had the same problem with my neighbor. I loaned them $150. to take thier dog to the vet and I told them I needed it back right away because it was rent money, and waited 4 months to get paid back first they paid me $85. and said they would pay the rest the next week and I ended up waiting like 2 more months and had to start asking every other day. they finally payed me back. I borrowed $6. for a pack of smokes and they were right there waiting for the money back the next day. I dont loan money out to anyone anymore because it causes to much problems so I just say I dont have it. It is very hard for me to say no because I hate to see anyone go without anything but it seems like everytime I did loan money it took forever to get it back and there have been a couple of times that I never did get paid back.
1 person likes this
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
22 Nov 08
That is not a very good neighbour or friend for that matter. 
1 person likes this
@kenchiprincess (5296)
• Philippines
22 Nov 08
how fortunate i am not having a kind of friend like yours. owning and lending money is a big issue between friendship. if i have a friend that i lend my money to and doesn't pay in time than what he or she had promised i would make a second thought of lending my hard earned money the next time he or she ask for it again. your friend should realized that you too need the money and have to be sensitive of returning it back too you as promise. it would be rude telling him or her that you can't lend him or her the money since you got issues with it the last time but i think refusing would be a subtle way of saying no the nest time around. hope this helps.
1 person likes this
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
22 Nov 08
Thanks for your help. It is so hard to refuse though. But I know I will.
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
22 Nov 08
Hi sketcher! That is exactly what I would say! I would say
the truth and I would stop the money lending and borrowing!
If this is how it ends up being then you need to stop lending
to this person and stop borrowing too! That way when they
ask to borrow you politely say I don't have the money to
lend right now and you won't have to go through this. Don't
you know that rule about lending money to friends and family?
That is the worst thing that you can ever do! It will
sometimes end a friendship or worse! So can you imagine what
it can do when it's a family member? Think about it the
next time this comes about!
1 person likes this
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
22 Nov 08
Oh I will. You know I don't actually borrow from her. It is that she ordered something for me that I was to pay her back for. I will make sure I am not in that situation again that's for sure!! 
@mods196621 (3652)
• Philippines
25 Nov 08
I have a lot of friends like that but it will never bothered me. Because when I lend them the money it is the amount that I can carry to lose even they forget to pay me back. I assume that this money will my savings or I spend it for something that never come back. That was the way I think of lending them money. But I did not said to them that, if I give them the money they need, it is okay even they will not return it. I still hoping for them to return it but not going to tell them the exact date and when they were fail to that promise I better to recall them the promise they maid. And if they did not paid I'll forget it. It's up to them if their conscience will allow them to sleep tight at night. And soon somebody will ask how much is my account? I will pay you now. That's it. LO
L
L@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
28 Nov 08
Well I guess I have learned that I can't hold my breath to wait for people to pay back money. Lesson learned!!! 
@katrhina23 (1282)
• United States
22 Nov 08
I dont have a friend like that. But i have a realtive like that. I always tell these people, when loaning money , you think of me first. But when its paying time, you dont ever think or even remember me.
Next time they loaned, i already refused. Sorry for them, it is one way also of giving trust to people. Money matters, they cant be trusted anymore.
1 person likes this
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
22 Nov 08
Yes you are right they are thinking of themselves alone as usual!!
1 person likes this
@shaiyoko (39)
• Philippines
22 Nov 08
Well.. i don't have a friend like that but i do have an aunt who's like that.. She borrowed some money to me so she can put up a little store near my shop. She told me that she'll be paying it as soon as her husband send some money. I said ok but here's the thing... one day i went to her store to buy some stuff but i forgot to bring some extra cash with me so i asked her if i can pay her the next day. She said no. So I said ok, can you just take the amount i owe you out of the money i lend you? She got mad at me and told me why i can't wait to be paid. Imagine it's been 3 months now since she asked for the money and her husband had been sending her some money within those months.. and now she's telling me i can't wait to be paid?!? geesh!
1 person likes this
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
22 Nov 08
Never mind paying you back! How dare she say NO to you not paying for stuff in her shop. Technically you own it anyway. I would not have asked and would have told her to take it out of what was owing. When she balked just walk away.
How dare she say NO to you not paying for stuff in her shop. Technically you own it anyway. I would not have asked and would have told her to take it out of what was owing. When she balked just walk away.1 person likes this
@442984826 (79)
• China
22 Nov 08
I have such a friend. For him is noting i can do, and i am very distressed. i hope he just forgot, i hope he can get my money back.
1 person likes this
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
22 Nov 08
Welcome to myLot!
I am sorry he has stressed you out. Not a very good friend.
Not a very good friend.1 person likes this
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
22 Nov 08
Thanks you are right. Be tolerant so others will tolerate you.
1 person likes this
@scarlet_woman (23465)
• United States
22 Nov 08
that's "do as i say" on a large scale.
i had a couple friends like that,but after awhile didn't borrow and didn't give out either.just not worth it.
@dvschic (1795)
• United States
21 Nov 08
this may sound weird, but stop loaning them money. and tell her no, u can't pay me back in jan, pay me now sucker. if you let people walk over you, they'll never stop. why should she pay you back, its obvious you can wait, so she thinks its acceptable.
1 person likes this
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
21 Nov 08
Oh I plan on this being the last time I lend her money. You think I would learn after all these years but nooooo not me. I keep trying to help and be a good friend and family member!!!
1 person likes this
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
22 Nov 08
I will now. Thanks. I forgot about that quote from the bible. Good thing to remember!
1 person likes this
@fwidman (11514)
• United States
21 Nov 08
I would definitely say something the next time they want to borrow. How about, "Okay, I'll lend you the money, BUT, I need it back within two weeks to pay a bill"
If she is loaning you money, tell her when you think you can pay her back. If she balks at that, don't take the loan
If she is loaning you money, tell her when you think you can pay her back. If she balks at that, don't take the loan @SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
22 Nov 08
That's a good idea as well. I just never think to tell someone when to pay me back. I figure they should know when a good amount of time should be to pay things back......NOT 5 months!!!
1 person likes this
@brandypelland (586)
• United States
21 Nov 08
yes, i have had the same problem.my ex friend next door use money from me or buy somthing from me .she would never pay. i would wait till i needed the money bad . and she say oh i forgot can i pay you on the first so i'm like ya, but i used 10.00 and the next day she was like do you have my money yet? i told her no and for a week she did that to me , so we are no longer friends now!
1 person likes this
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
21 Nov 08
There are so many nice people in the world aren't there? 
1 person likes this
