Would you rather leave or would you rather be left?

@JannaLee (660)
Philippines
November 22, 2008 4:19pm CST
People come and go, that's a fact. Separation is one of our greatest fears. The anxiety that it cost rules our systems is really stressful...There's a great burden in leaving someone behind, knowing that someone will be in pain when you'll depart. The steps towards your destination would somehow be heavier than you've ever imagined, which requires extra effort on your part though. The pain of being left behind is not lesser than the former type of pain, knowing that your life would never be the same with the absence of that significant existence. Living each day with the thought of being alone, doing your routine, even for the fact that it'll never be complete. Separation can be temporary or permanent, either way, one shall undergo in a process of pain and healing. How about you? Would you rather leave or would you rather be the one left? Which is more painful?
4 people like this
10 responses
@mchavez11 (1406)
• Philippines
23 Nov 08
Neither. I think it both sucks in a way of knowing that its another end of a chapter, and an added memory in your life to look back and feel something whether postive or negative. I'm a very emotional person especially when there's change particularly like this one. As much as possible, I don't want to leave and be left. I just hate it but all of us had gone through it, and I'm pretty sure we are all going to leave someday.
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
23 Nov 08
Being left is more painful of the two for sure. Yeah you'll have regrets if your the one leaving and all but being left if by far the most painful because sometimes it can be unexpected and feels like your hearts being ripped out and you feel so low you don't ever think things will look up again for awhile till you find your center and your strength there to carry on.Then with time it heals..
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Nov 08
I have been in a few relationships in my life, but I was always the one who left and to be perfectly honest, I like it that way. But really, I don't fear being alone. I am very self sufficient and I like it that way. I dont like to rely on another person for anything.
1 person likes this
@missybear (11396)
• United States
22 Nov 08
It's a tuff one. I've been left and i left people, i think i got over being left easier then leaving people. I left my ex of 8 years and sometimes i still feel so bad for hurting him, even thou he was some what of an you know what.
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
22 Nov 08
To leace someone is a very hard thing to do, when I first saw your discussion I thought I would answer with I would rather leave but after reading what you wrote it made me think and i changed my mind, I think I would rather be left as there id no decision there it is just what it is...as you say both can hurt and i have been in both situations so i say I would rather be left....
@kellys3ps (3726)
• United States
22 Nov 08
I think I would rather leave than be left - that way I am in control!
1 person likes this
@silverjam (969)
• United States
23 Nov 08
Its not very clear as what's the purpose of such separation and what is it for? If leaving for the sake of peace and harmony of a certain relationship in w/c I am the cause of trouble (being the 3rd party), then I guess I would have to. The same is true in likewise leaving a job if I find it inconveneint and not satisfactory for me. However, leaving for the sake of looking for greener pastures in other countries is another story, specially if one has family left behind. If I have this kind of opportunity and I see it worth for the sacrifice then I may. This is common for couples who are offered great opportunities in working abroad. Physical separation is never fun but pain but one has to take some decissions in life for the future of their loved ones. I left my friends and family 6 months ago when I decided to come to the USA to marry my fiancee. It was both a mixture of pain and relief. Pain for leaving them and knowing that it may take a long time before we see each other again. Relief for me and my boyfriend in the sense that at last we finally tie the knot in marraige after almost a couple of years waiting. Wether you leave or you're being left I guess the pain is still of the same intense but you have to decide anyway.
@laladida (151)
• United States
23 Nov 08
rather be left because I dont want anyone to tell me what to do!! =]
@tammytwo (4304)
• United States
23 Nov 08
There is no simple answer to this question. I'm not sure if I have hurt more when doing the leaving or being left. Both take a toll on your emotions and neither are easy.
@beauty_ph (2751)
• Philippines
23 Nov 08
I have a relationship before for almost 3 years. My boyfriend keep on telling me about marriage. For a single person like me, I still believe in knowing the person well before marrying him. It made me say goodbye to my boyfriend because I am thinking that we still need time to know ourselves well and know each other well. In situations like knowing which is more painful to leave or being left. I think it is more painful if I made a decision earlier to get married and then later did I know it a wrong decision. That is why I still believe in being happily single rather than thinking about leaving or being left.