Mom Wanted Chicken For Dinner
November 25, 2008 10:38pm CST
but dad didn't have the money. I told him that I'd be by there tomorrow sometime and will have some chicken for them for dinner. He was okay with that. We got to talking and he told me not to talk about my brothers and us arguing because she gets so upset. She can't handle it. GUILT TRIP. I know she gets upset but she has to understand that if my brothers can say what they have to say then so can I. I'm not going to bow down anymore. I'm the one down here taking care of mom and dad, not my brothers, they have no idea what's going on. Every time they call her, she puts up a front but when I see her or talk to her on the phone, she's worrying or crying over the house and/or because of her not being able to do the things she used to do and that her hands are cold - all from the stroke. The birthday gift I gave her, battery operated gloves which were $70. which didn't bother me too too much because I thought they'd benefit her but she doesn't like them because she can't do dishes, fold clothes or make her bed with gloves on. So I'm going to tell her to give them to me and I'll send them back. Why should I waste my money on something she doesn't like. Gee.... I can't win.
• Marion, Kansas
26 Nov 08
I hear you on what is going on and family behaviors, etc. I am on the phone right now doing the Uh huh to my sister. She either bores me to tears or makes me mad. She is always talking about "good Christians" doing this or that in a very sarcastic dripping voice and I told her in no uncertain terms that they could do some of those things and be good Pagans, I was sick of hearing it. She wants to talk so bad, she just let it past. I am so bored, angry and tired, as I worked twelve hours today, twelve yesterday. I would like to be able to stay up late enough to see my hubby. I hope I can get off the phone when he does get home.
26 Nov 08
Oh tell me about it! There are really those people who can't stop yapping and yet you can't say no either. I guess they just need someone to talk to so badly that they'd settle for the constant uh huh and oh ok's. I got a friend who's like that too. She seemed to never have nothing to talk about and we end up till the wee hours in the morning just listening to her yapping her brains out. The worst thing is that they'd even not have time for you if you want to talk. Whew!
1 Dec 08
I know you don't want your folks to suffer. I know you want to make their lives better but they are a couple of ole misery guts from where I stand. You do too much for them and they don't appreciate it. Your brothers do nothing and are on a pedestal. Pull back a bit and then lay a few guilt trips of your own....it's the only language your folks understand my friend. You have been loving, thoughtful, kind, generous and selfless and they don't get it. Try doing nothing, take them nowhere, don't help them and you will be talking their language. They are only happy when they are miserable and complaining.
26 Nov 08
I am sorry to hear about your situation but please do understand parents grow old, tired and weary. They miss things they can never do again. Your mom maybe is at the stage where she wants to be able to still do things on her own so people wont think of her as an invalid or useless. My mom is 80 years old now...suffered around 3 strokes and have undergone myoma operation...Half her body is not functioning well. My dad is 82 and he too is old to do stuffs. He often suffers dizziness.. but both of them still wants to work a lot. I felt them having this urge of doing things because they want to do what they used to do before even if they should avoid doing so. My mom wants to put out the dishes and set them sometimes she want to ready the food to be served. She actually broke a lot of glasses already. She also has memory loss. My dad he sweeps outside the house the falling leaves and he keeps bending and this sometimes causes his dizziness. They shouldn't be doing so much at their age but still they don't want to just sit around and do nothing. I love my parents much and I show much appreciation to them for raising me. I buy them stuffs and I don't take them back even if they don't often use it. I remind them to use it though time and again but its ok for me. All I want to do for my parents is to care for them and not give them worries. I do what is the best for them because they did that when they were still raising me. Please be patient with your mom. Just assure her that everything is well and alright. Just remind her to use the gloves even just maybe when she's sleeping or resting tell her that. I know she appreciates your concern for her and so does your dad. Your dad just loves your mom so much that he don't want her to worry much. Your sacrifice for them will be replaced with something good someday. When we were young we have things our parents buy for us that costs and sometimes we dont even want it but still they spend for us. I would do whatever they did for me back then.