@kassdaw (593)
United States
November 29, 2008 7:15pm CST
I am getting all the paper work together to file for divorce and my husband is convinced it wont happen! He has gone so far as to involve his mother. Yes, my 21 year old husband is now having his mommy fight his divorce for him. I made the mistake of believing my best friend and ended up married to him. Now, his mother is involved and is blaming me for the whole thing. She even went so far as to contact me through mySpace and accuse me of cheating on her beloved son, who they kicked out of the house at 15. She is now getting our son, who is 2, involved and pointing fingers at me, saying that I am a bad mother because I wont let my son visit them for the weekends. Up until last week I had no clue that his father was living with his parents again and just thought that they were being nice in wanting their grandson. I see that they were using the trust I had in them to help my husband see his son and not have to see me. He is convinced that he can still be a dad to my son and never again see me. Well, now I have a bit of problem, my son is in my costudy and I have all legal rights to him but I still can't deny his father from seeing him. His father quite a great job because he didn't like his co-workers and is telling me that buying diapers, wipes, and other baby items was not his responsibility at all. Am I just so stuck on parental duties in accepting him to step up and still take care of his son, or is right, now that we aren't together he doesn't have to deal with me at all or help out what so ever? Maybe I am just out of line asking him for assistance with raising our son, but I still feel that he does need to be a man about it and get over his issues. Any thoughts?
4 people like this
5 responses
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
30 Nov 08
21 years old and still asking for parents help? they kicked out their son when he was 15 then now getting involve with their son's business. this is comedy. well if you want finamncial help then that is your right to ask. i am a single mom of four children and i dont like anything from my husband. well that is a different issue but if you need financial support then go and bring him to court. though i know that together with that financial help is giving him chance to see his kid. hope it ends well
3 people like this
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
30 Nov 08
It sounds to me like you need to take him to court asap to get some child support ordered. It is dumb of him to think that diapers, wipes, and food for your son are not his responsibility. You did not get yourself pregnant. He helped with that, now he can help with the rest. His parents really need to stay out of it.
3 people like this
@meow1978 (191)
• Malaysia
1 Dec 08
Do what you are suppose to do. Husband and wife should have the same responsibility. Actually do you still love him or you hate him to the max? What about the child. Are you sure that you want your child to have an unhealthy family? Growing up with a father is quite hard. Think about it before acting. Maybe both of you should sit down and talk it over before making this step. Divorce is not the way out of problem. It is a way into a new problem. Now is your chance to be the "Queen" at home. List down what you wanted from him. if he can compromise, why not try to be together again. Why you both get together at the first place? Definitely there is love feeling. try to grow the love feeling again. Give him another chance, Give yourself another chance and most important, give the child another chance to grow up in a healthy family. here I just hope my advice can convince you to re-think what you should do.
@moondancer (7434)
• United States
1 Dec 08
It sounds to me as if your husband just doesn't want the resposibility of caring for his childs needs. He wants all of that put on you. He doesn't want to give "you" money for you to speed how you see fit. He wants the visits with the child with no resposibility for his needs. It does not work that way. Don't stop him from seeing his child. But make sure that when you get your divorce that it is in writing that he provide any money needed for the childs needs and don't forget about childcare expenses that will go up without you two together. He has an obigation to help with that and preschool expenses when they start too. Many women forget about the main expenses when they divorce and wind up paying out the wazoo for everything and the father reaping the rewards of seeing the child and hardly if paying anything of the day to day expenses. You need to bring it up that they down you to your child. They can not do that for the sake of the childs mental health. They do not need to use the child against you because they disagree with what you do. It takes 2 to make or break a relationship. Your husband did just as much as you to not help the marriage work. He likewise needs to be there for his child in all ways and that includes money for his needs. Use the judge to help you get what you need fro your hild. It's not up to your husband to say what he will do or not do and make sure that you are not stuck with all bills you two have as well. Any hospital bills, loans, and all. Think realistically, because what you do in the divorce is what you are stuck with. He may not have a good job now, but later he will make more and you can go back to court for more money. It is for your child, do not deprive your child from all of his needs. Make the father pay his share.
2 people like this
@Stephanie5 (2947)
• United States
6 Dec 08
You are not wrong for asking him for help. He helped make him, he can help take care of him! Whether he will actually step up or not probably depends on what mommy tells him to do. As far as your son goes.... I have been through just about everything you can imagine when it comes to divorce and custody issues. Do NOT talk ill about the father or in-laws. Your son is still young and you need to NOT fight with anyone, especially the father. This will damage your son for life! If you can't get along with him, or he won't stop fighting with you, then arrange for someone else to do the pick-ups and drop-offs. Please trust me when I say... "It's not worth it!" No matter what you say to him,if he isn't going to help, then he just isn't going to help. NOone but a judge can MAKE him pay. Don't waste your time, energy or breath trying to talk sense into him! Good LUck!