What would it take for you to be truly happy?

@shamsta19 (3225)
United States
December 1, 2008 1:46am CST
I ask not for lack of a better discussion to post but because I find myself at a difficult crux in my life right now. I find myself asking what would it take for me to be happy? Is it money? I know money would solve a lot of problems right now but would it make me happy? Would it make you truly happy? I will be rich one day and I plan on enjoying my life and doing the things I enjoy. Only thing is I want to enjoy them while I am still relatively young. So would a lot of money in the long run make me truly happy? Would having family and friends around be your answer? Or just being alive and healthy enough for you? Are you happy now? Where do you think the answer for true happiness is? Take some time with that and let me know what you think...
11 people like this
53 responses
@eynjel05 (444)
• Philippines
1 Dec 08
Well, in my personal opinion, there are many reasons for someone to be happy in life. In my case I can say that I am happy because I do have my loving family with me. They are my priority in life. Second, I am happy because at last, I manage to successfully finished my studies and got a degree, actually I just passed my board exam three weeks ago and furtunately I will just be working for my license this thursday. And hopefully next year i'll be having my job and earn money to help my parents. Money is just a material reason for a person to be happy. :-)
3 people like this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
1 Dec 08
This is true, but when you are broke and starving money can be your personal savior. Some people would not feel the same way about money. I do feel it is material and not the answer to real happiness but I could always use some extra cash, who couldn't? People are losing their homes, their jobs and their families right now and I am sure some money would help.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Dec 08
I am happy that my family is all alive and well..that we have food to eat, a house to live in, clothes...Happiness depends on how you see life...Money is not the answer to happiness but it can take part in it. Since money can give you anything you want. I will be truly happy if we are stable. We are not poor but we are not rich either. I have a good paying job but my salary wont fit our needs. I am happy when others are happy as well..I am happy when I see a face of a child or a baby..For now my life is burdened with so many problems yet I don't feel sad. I try not to think much of it. When I am sad I look for ways for me to be happy. Even at my crying moments I learned to shove it away.
3 people like this
@coolsid2007 (1030)
• India
30 Dec 08
I would ask What would you give away to be truly happy.... i mean what exactly does it mean "happiness"... if we put it into a mathematical equation.... it means the lesser we are worried about something the more we are happy... in other words the less we care about something going wrong the more we be happy... Instead of drawing onto too many things and expecting them to be perfect and all...what one can do is stay away from majority of things in life or atleast try to expect less or nothing from people connected or related to us...this helps us to stay free of all worries and probably will make us happy thanks Sid
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
30 Dec 08
So do you feel someone could be happy with nothing? No family or friends? No money or shelter? I struggle to imagine how I could do this though I'd envy the man who could.
1 person likes this
• India
1 Jan 09
you said it mate. the one who does is happy...but these days who around you is happy, truly happy not momentarily happy....no one does it...no one gets it (happiness). happy new year
1 person likes this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
1 Jan 09
Happy New Year! Lets hope for a better year!
@brew2x (3096)
• Philippines
1 Dec 08
I'm really happy now. I have someone that truly cares for me and of course I feel the same for him. I also have my friends and family around me.
2 people like this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
1 Dec 08
That is wonderful. How your finances looking right now? Not trying to be sarcastic but we be happy without money? I do believe at least being financially stable has an effect on our happiness. It is a part of that contentment we are all speaking of here. Thanks for posting.
@brew2x (3096)
• Philippines
2 Dec 08
I do understand what you mean. Money is really important in today's world. We are doing pretty well financially, so right now everything seems to be okay :)
1 person likes this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
2 Dec 08
That makes one of us.
@linsond (33)
• China
30 Dec 08
In my opinion,the true happiness is doing the work you like and living the life you enjoy!
2 people like this
• United States
30 Dec 08
I think you have put it very well!
1 person likes this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
30 Dec 08
Very well put indeed!
1 person likes this
@kaui_808 (191)
• United States
11 Dec 08
god!
2 people like this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
11 Dec 08
Trust me I have been praying a lot harder these days. I try to keep the Creator in my life always. Whether times are good or bad I have always kept the faith. It is sometimes all that keeps you going.
1 person likes this
@robert19ph (4584)
• Philippines
11 Dec 08
[i]Hello shamsta19, It makes me happy if I have a secure job and some money in the banks. With the current world wide economic crisis my job is not secure and my livelihood is in peril. I don't know what will happen next year and tried to be optimistic. If I can reach that certain stability, I think I will be happy. Money still hold a part of happiness. Maybe if you are single and without family, happiness will be much more different because even if you don't have money I think you can still be happy. Regards.[/i]
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
11 Dec 08
Don't believe that. I am single. I still have a family though and a child. I feel as if I am in the same situation as you. Things do not seem to be getting any better. It is very hard to find any happiness in this situation. I feel this whole discussion has been about that stability you are speaking of. That's all I could ask for. I don't know what will happen this year. Yes it is almost over but things seem to get worse everyday. I hope things start looking up soon...
1 person likes this
@thanujad (405)
• Sri Lanka
2 Dec 08
Many people believe they can solve all their problems by just having money. They however fail to realize that money itself has its attendant problems. Money cannot solve all problems. Most people never think properly. All through their lives they are like race-track greyhounds running after a rabbit decoy. When the chase ends, all excitement disappears. This is very much like the nature of sensual happiness in the wonderland of materialism. As soon as the desired object is attained, the happiness ends and new desires arise. Getting the object appears not quite as satisfying as the chase itself. Or when we lose something, remember the following advice:- " Say not that this is yours and that is mine, Just say, this came to you and that to me, So we may not regret the fading shine, Of all the glorious things which ceased to be" Wealth is not something for you to accumilate for craving's sake. It is intended for your welfare as well as of others. Try to make the world around you abetter place to live in. Use your wealth wisely to reduce the sufferings of the poor, the sick and the aged. Fulfill your duties to your people, your country and your religion. When the time comes for you to leave, imagine what peace and bliss they could bring as you recall the past good and selfless deeds you have done. To seek wealth through gambling is like expecting a passing cloud to shelter us from the sun. On the other hand, to aspire for prosperity through diligent work is as secure as building a permanent shelter against sun and rain. " Your prosperity will remain when you die. Your friends and relatives will follow you up to your grave. But only good or bad actions you have done during your life- time will follow you beyond the grave." Fulfilling dreams of riches may sound magical, but fear and worry always lie in wait for such magic to wear off. A rich lifestyle brings its share of mental disturbance. With an abundance of ill-used wealth, simple things in life like friendship, trust and confidence which are taken for granted in humbler circumstances become impossible to attain. When a lifestyle begins to create insecurity, it requires wisdom to put oneself on the right track again. Riches have their trade-offs; the happiness of owning them is diminished by as much fear and worry about losing them. For our personel happiness we should aquire wealth righteously. Happiness cannot be long-lived and meaningful if wealth leaves sorrow and suffering in its wake. Wealth flouted arouses envy; but wealth well-conducted earns respect. Ultimately, it is bliss to know that " happiness is perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself." The world may not be what you want it to be but you can tune your heart to find happiness within it. It is only when you have suffered for doing good that you can rise above others in understanding and personal happiness.
2 people like this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
2 Dec 08
This is all a beautiful sentiment. I had to read it twice. I am not saying money is the answer to everything, not even for me. Just it is a necessary catalyst in our happiness as citizens of the Earth. It is a shame it has to be like this, true, nut we do need money in order to afford the basic luxuries we need in order to function and survive. I do believe there are many people who are rich and suffering this mental anguish you speak of. I know they have a whole other set of issues to deal with being amongst that higher echelon, but I'd love to try it out as well. I have to admit to that. Though I feel I gain more by working hard and earning this fortune, rather than it being gifted to me or born with it. I believe I can still be grounded in reality and rich at the same time. That is just me. I am not fantasizing about money I may never have though. In fact like most here who have posted responses to this topic, I would just like to be stable, content in that I don't have to worry about finances and had money to get at least some of the "wants" as well as take care of the "needs." Thank you for posting this.
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
2 Dec 08
Hi! I am sorry for whatever difficulties you are facing now . here are my thoughts on the subject-as far as I am concerned having my members of my family hale and hearty and seeing them happy would make me happy.If I do not have anypainful, severe, health problems then I would be happy.As such I am happy and my answer to your question would be the following When a person has all the faculties right and there is no God given misfortune by way of illness to self or close members of the family then setting your expectations within your limitations , engaging yourself in some activity that gives you joy and would not require another person's resources or participation, having basic needs like food , clothing and shelter provided for, finding joy in the simplest beauties of nature around you , deriving pleasure out of small things would all make you happy.Most of it comes from within and depends on your mental make up[barring unforseen , unpredictable misfortunes cast upon you from above-say an accident or illness, abject poverty that deprives you of basic needs and inability to move your limbs etc[caused by illness],,, or something over which we do not have control.
2 people like this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
2 Dec 08
This seems to be the common belief here. Given all the above things, I'd have no complaints. I'd be happy. I really do not need anything more. It is a shame that right now we are living in this tumultuous times but it has to get better. I just pray it doesn't get worse before then!
@mgmagana (3621)
• United States
2 Dec 08
i already have great family n friends, but our finances r what is making me very unhappy! i think that being financially stable would make me happy, i'm willing to work for it too, but with this bad economy no one is hiring and i can't seem to find a job.
2 people like this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
2 Dec 08
This seems to be everyone's problem at the moment. Situation the same everywhere. And these idiots have the nerve to announce on the news tonight, "We are officially in a recession." DUH! Stevie Wonder could see that with his back turned! We all pretty much agree to the same things here. No one is asking to be rich, just stable. Contentment keeps coming up a lot throughout this discussion. I truly hope things get better for you, for all of us. Thanks for posting
• United States
1 Dec 08
Well, for me I don't seek happiness anymore because I have reach inside of me, a place that can not be known a place where the deepest desires are. I would love to be rich and be able to travel the world and see all its wonderful beauty. But when people are hurting and starving and living worst then some animal and know if I were to have my greatest desire I could not enjoy it if other are suffering. For me I can't be happy if there someone sad
2 people like this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
1 Dec 08
Great response! I would probably feel some compassion for those less fortunate than myself. It probably would affect me too if I was rich. I'd be giving money away to the less fortunate.
@gracie04 (4555)
• Philippines
1 Dec 08
I must admit that i am not 100% happy.. i have dilemmas in life that i can't solve by myself.. if i could just turn back time, i'd like to change some things.. one thing that can make me happy would be complete healing/good health.. my health is restraining me to do things that i used to do before..i'd like to work and help my family, travel abroad, etc..
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
1 Dec 08
I am sorry you feel this way. We all feel this way sometime for some reason or another. I do hope it isn't anything to serious. Good health is definitely a catalyst to happiness. You are proof enough of that. I will pray for you and I hope your situation turns around. It's not health so much for me as financing. Things have been hard the past couple of years and are steadily declining. Job situation in shambles and I lost my studio last year. While things have been worse they have also been better.
@annierose (18023)
• Philippines
1 Dec 08
For me, happiness is the contentment one can have while he is living. Based on your post, indeed, money can make you happy. But money cannot make you happy for a long time.Having your family and friends can make you happy also as well as having a healthy body.All of them, definitely, can cause happiness. On my own opinion, I can say that true happiness can be found if you are with God. It can be found if in yourself, you finally found out what is the purpose of your existence. I believe that we are here on earth because of God. It is our purpose to serve and love Him.If God is within your heart, you will feel peace and contentment within you. You will follow Him and do with all your heart what He is asking of you.You will be filled with love for Him and for everyone around you.And with that, you will ask no more in life and will feel satisfaction on living.
@sumiirajj (1983)
• India
1 Dec 08
Hi friend,According to me there is nothing a person can be satisfied or happy with.Because our wishes are endless.When we think that it is money which would make us happy ,only after attaining that money we would be happy for sometime .Later in the long run again we would be thinking about something else which would make us happy.So it is endless if you think in that way.True happiness lies within us and not in money or something else.We only have to realise the happiness within us.If we want we can find true happiness in everything we do and from everything that happens to us.Attaining true happiness depends on our own mentality. thanks for sharing.happy mylotting.
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
1 Dec 08
Great response! Even after we get that material wealth, we still want more. We are still not happy. You see where this discussion is going? This is exactly why I wanted to post this, or one reason at least. "True happiness lies within us.." This is so true!
@idowrite72 (2214)
• United States
29 Dec 08
I think it is difficult to figure that one out! I will say that it would take enough money not to have to worry about it and at this point in my life I would like to have a life partner to share my life with . I have a family........children and grandchildren who make me happy and who I love being with and spending time with, but I would like to have someone to share time with on my own and I would like each of my children and grandchildren to have fulfilling lives in which ever way it would be the best for them.
• India
30 Dec 08
hi,,, this is all the expectations you have from life....expecting everything to be perfect....but the fact that life changes once we add one more number to it...be it relationships, or responsibilities.... i think this way we find one more way to be unhappy about....but we only realize it once we are on to it.
2 people like this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
30 Dec 08
Well idowrite72 this is a great sentiment. I think I'd be happy with that myself! I find I am happy when my daughter is happy so I could imagine with all you describe that would make me feel great.
1 person likes this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
30 Dec 08
And I don't think it is a "perfect" life we are searching for but, like I said earlier in this discussion, it is about being content and worry free. Life naturally brings ups and downs regardless so it could never be "perfect."
1 person likes this
@walkthetalk (1307)
• United States
2 Dec 08
Two weeks ago I was truly unhappy. I was at a point in my life where I didn't know which way to turn. I was unhappy in my marriage. I desperately wanted to leave. My kids helped me make the decision. I am almost at happiness. I have to get my kids at the point where they know I truly did the right thing. And I did it for our happiness. I wish you luck in you quest.
1 person likes this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
2 Dec 08
Relationships can cause either a lot of happiness or anguish. Check some of my old posts. I recently broke up with my girlfriend, who I really felt strongly about. Our relationship was heading downhill and had to end. In your case it is good that you made the right decision for your children and ultimately, your happiness. I hope we all find that happiness we are seeking. Thanks for the encouragement.
• United States
3 Dec 08
I know sometimes it seems that what we're looking for is so far out of reach. I think that when someone makes a decision as we have made, for our own happiness, that we will some day be able to reach our goals. I have been married for 17 years. I now realize that my husband isn't going to make me happy, or treat me the way a wife should be treated. It is time for me to move on in life. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
3 Dec 08
Good luck to you as well. (You know your last post here was a small part of the reason I posted those 50 questions too! Among some other things as well.
@lvaldean (1612)
• United States
1 Dec 08
Great question...I don't believe anyone can answer this with complete accuracy because happiness is a moving target. What makes us happy today may not fulfill us tomorrow. As we mature and grow wiser we may find that we need different things in our lives, different models of contentment. So what does it take to make me happy, long term? 1. Wisdom to know when I am happy and fulfilled 2. The ability to make "good" choices for myself 3. Inner peace and the ability to accept lifes little bumps in the road 4. That those I love are settled and well loved and love themselves 5. More time to do things that are meaningful to me, like writing and volunteering 6. Enough money to achieve #5, don't need to be rich just enough 7. Debt freedom, yes this is a big one for me been on the other side and it sucked 8. The ability to travel and explore the world, happiness is wanderlust 9. Drama free life, friends and family who keep the drama at a minimum 10. To teach, this is a big one for me. Long term goal and one that I value 11. To mentor and grow the next generation - see #10 12. To be surrounded by those I love and who love me long into my twightlight years I have some smaller shorter term happiness goals, some on the list above I am close to achieving even. #7 I am three months from achieving 70% of and 3 years from achieving 100% of if I stay on plan. I would really be estatic, over the moon on this one. When I say debt free I mean mortgage, staggering student loans, everything. #10 & #11 I do some of now but I want to return to school (without loans) for my Ph.D and then retire from what I do now and teach at a university level. Then when we are ready to really retire we will return to the Bahamas. The real dream is to open a Magnet School that will partially fund itself and partially provide scholarship focused on technology and business skills, something sadly lacking in that part of the world. The goal will be to provide education and trade skills to Bahamian natives to start getting them in the market rather than having all the "good" non-service jobs going to expats. My real short term goal? Wow, what would make me really happy right now. Declutter my house! Finish painting some rooms. Get my house really clean, it doesn't seem like it ever is by the way because of my travel schedule. So that is my happiness list.
1 person likes this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
1 Dec 08
I too have a long term list of things I want to accomplish, that in doing so, I think I would derive great pleasure. I think these getting those things done will make me happy. Such as becoming a successful musician/producer, setting up a foundation for my daughter and any future generations of family, saving enough money to be financially free, travel the world, etc. Having these things in the back of my mind keeps me focused and accomplishing them would also make me feel as if I achieved a lot. I'd be happy about that. That number seven is busting my butt right now! I have achieved -200% of that goal.It was a month ago (not even) I was talking about opening a restaurant, a short term goal that I'd be happy to accomplish. I can already see how finances are going to push back this decision by a few months (as of yet). I guess I know what makes me unhappy and if I solve those problems I guess I'd be happy too. I think we stumbled on a theme with this discussion about being content. I don't feel contentment and happiness are one in the same, but I think contentment brings happiness.
@lvaldean (1612)
• United States
1 Dec 08
Yeah debt freedom is a hard one. It was a real life lesson for me to learn believe me. But a really bad divorce taught me part of it and then having to learn about myself and selfishness / greed and what it ultimately buys you taught me the rest. Now, as I grow into my own maturity it is easier to say "no" to all the incidentals of Life, the "wants" instead of "needs" that is. Such as I want the latest pair of hot stiletos, but really I don't need another pair of 4" heels in my closet (but dammmm they are hot). I have busted my proverbial to pull myself out of debt. Put every spare penny, nickle, dime, and dollar I have into debt pay down. Shorted my retirement to do it. I will do this some more because I know that with debt paydown I will actually make retirement up. No debt is huge for me, it means I will actually need far less for retirement. The rest, yeah it is important. Contentment, vital to happiness. Being happy with right now - priceless. Knowing that I am the best I can be right now - priceless.
1 person likes this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
2 Dec 08
I usually have no problem going without the "wants" and lately it's the "needs" that are suffering. I cannot believe things have turned around so fast. I am now waiting on a check that may never come. Was supposed to be a business investment and now it may turn into bill money. It hadn't arrived when it was due and now things are getting out of hand. Certainly making it hard to be happy at all.
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
2 Dec 08
Yes I am. I used to work full time and earning good. the job was fine but the people and office politics was draining me. When I quit we had over $ 18,000 in the bank and the only debts we had was car and mortgage. Then I started my own small business, I have it for over 2 years now. I always have to struggle to make ends meet. What we have in the bank is only enough to pay monthly bills and loans payment. I grab any chance for p/t work to earn something for holidays. I will not trade my small business for some kind of full time job anymore. there is no office politics in my small business. I know what I do and nobody else can undermine it or ruin it behind my back. Relationship wise I am blessed with a loving and responsible husband. In my darkest time he is my rock. There is no amount of money in this world can replace my small business and my husband. Nothing and nobody else can make me happier. I was born poor and came from a poor country, so those who didn't go through what I went through may not understand how I can be happy with less money. Do you think rich people don't work or worry? They do. they are not immune to rising prices, they have to maintain image and 'friends at the top' - all of this means they have to keep earning money. Relationship wise it's also unsure if they are loved or their money is loved. I wouldn't mind being rich, but if it will cost me the two things in my life that make me complete, then it's not worth it. It won't make me complete anyway.
1 person likes this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
2 Dec 08
I do understand how you feel being in business for yourself. It's liberating at the least and you never want to return to being a full time employee after that. I find happiness in that as well. I ran my own businesses since 2000. I started a painting business when I moved to North Carolina from New York and did pretty good for myself for a little while. I moved to Myrtle Beach in 02 and my brother and I opened a recording studio, produced two full length albums and several mix tapes. I was responsible for nearly 100% of the music production for ourselves and other artists. I also engineered studio sessions and made a nice profit doing this and enjoyed doing it as music is my passion. We "lost" the studio so to speak and going to work in someone else's kitchen or mail room doesn't excite me in the least. We all have to bite the bullet sometimes and do we we must but there's nothing like the freedom of running your own business. Even if you are stressed at work, it's yours at the end of the day!
1 person likes this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
2 Dec 08
And rich people don't have to maintain appearances for their rich friends, they choose to. I'd love a chance to be rich but I don't need that in life to be happy. Not saying I don't need money, just enough is good I don't need it all.
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
2 Dec 08
music recording, now that sounds like something I should try someday maybe more to playing it, not recording other people playing it one day if I have enough capital I guess
1 person likes this
@glords (2615)
• United States
3 Dec 08
I used to wait for something to come along and make me happy. I expected it to be some type of wealth or success at work, but interestingly enough it was the birth of my son. I was working on getting my masters degree and I was teaching school, and I had other plans for my life. When I got pregnant, I was heartbroken, but funny thing... my son turned out to be my winning lottery ticket. He has brought me more joy and peace than I could have ever hoped for. He gives my life meaning. I have never been so happy! I even love my husband more, after all he helped make my little angel.
1 person likes this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
3 Dec 08
Feel the same about my daughter. She doesn't live with me and that tears me up not seeing her like I want to. When I do, that is a very happy time for me.
@glords (2615)
• United States
4 Dec 08
That makes me tear up to. I'm so sorry that you don't get see your darling little girl everyday, but what a miracle and blessing that you've found that joy and love in your life. You are a wealthy man to have known love like that.
1 person likes this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
4 Dec 08
My baby - Kaya
Love my lil girl!
@lilisor (205)
• Hungary
3 Dec 08
We (my hubby and me) would be very happy if we had our own house. We love small houses, with 2-3 rooms and big gardens. Also, we're crazy about Beagles, we'd love to have a beagle and a Scottish Fold cat. If we had all these, we'd be very happy.
1 person likes this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
3 Dec 08
I'd be happy with that myself,sans the Beagles anyway. Instead of Beagles a lil extra cash and I'd be satisfied.
@lilisor (205)
• Hungary
3 Dec 08
No money could bring the joy in our family a Beagle could bring.
1 person likes this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
3 Dec 08
I hear you and completely understand where you are coming from. I just don't like dogs.