How do I aks my best friend to return the money I lended to

China
December 3, 2008 8:51pm CST
I lended some money to one of my best friends half an years ago, and he promised he would give it back after three month. But he didn't pay me back on time either didn't explain why . He and me are best friends since childhood, how could I talk to him about this matter without harming our relationship.
1 person likes this
12 responses
@shonali (1288)
• India
4 Dec 08
if you call him your best friend then there should be absolutely no problem in just telling him that you needed the money back that you had lent him around sometime back...if he calls himself your best friend then he shouldnt have a problem in giving the money back to you...or he may also be having a genuine problem...he might not have the money with him thats why he might not have come up front and given you the money or he may have plain and simple forgotten about the money..... im not trying to say that he might have kept it off the conversation for a long time in case you finally forget about it so he wouldnt have to pay you back but i hardly think that this is the case as he isnt your friend he is your best friends and best friends dont do such things to their best friends so just go up to him and ask for the money which you had given him and see what he has to say....
• China
4 Dec 08
Talking about it with my friend directly is a kind of solution. But I will thhink aoubt it. thanks, my pal.
@shonali (1288)
• India
4 Dec 08
no problem...anytime... but in the future you will nkow what to expect
@praveenjena (1305)
• India
7 Dec 08
hello buddy, there are times when monetary issues get into friendship and make it sour. and make things that were good ..... worse. well you say that he is your best friend. so i think that if his returning money torments you then there is no problem in talking about that to him. well you may explain that with a reason and at the same time you may need that money for some thing. then after that he will certainly say that cause for which he as taken that money from you. also he may say why he is not returning that money now. i think that this is going to help you. have a good day and happy my lotting.
1 person likes this
• China
8 Dec 08
nice plan, very appreciate it.
@caskins (689)
• United States
5 Dec 08
hello garfield, personally i would just flat out ask him what's going on with repaying my money. if he was a true friend he would pay u back or give an explanation on why he hasn't paid you yet.
1 person likes this
• China
6 Dec 08
It's not big deal in your country if you ask your friend to pay your money back directly under the same circumstance. But in China, we cherish our "face" than anything......thanks my pal.
@piya84 (2591)
• India
5 Dec 08
hiii u tell him there is argent need...n if he can pay bak ur given money...he may come with resons..u listen those reasons n think about it...if u cud give some solution ...like tell him to pay in small small parts each month..like 20% esch time n like dat
1 person likes this
• China
5 Dec 08
That is an idear, but sounds not too good. It seems like he had bought something from me and pay it by installment, thanks anyway.
@yokhon48 (93)
• Malaysia
4 Dec 08
I had the same experience too. Many years ago (which I have lost count), my childhood friend came to ask money from me. Without hesitation, I lend the money to her. So it was then like a monthly thing, for 5 months. I stopped this nonsense, it was enough, however, I did not tell her when to repay all. It took years later, only half of the sum was repaid. She did not mention anything about repayment, when asked, she wasn't happy. Finally, the friendship was broken.
• China
5 Dec 08
I am sorry to hear that, that's what I am worry about it if I ask him to pay back my money directly.
@SaintAnne (5454)
• United States
4 Dec 08
You have to talk to him about it and no beating around the bush. As best friends, then I think you both have to talk. He may not have the money right now to pay you but still, as someone who borrowed money, he has that obligation to pay you back and let you at least know what is going on. I am sorry that he is putting you in such a situation but if you need the money or expect him to pay it back then you guys have to talk. Either you let it go and not think about it anymore or let it go and have it affect your friendship.
1 person likes this
• China
5 Dec 08
I will talk about it with him. thanks for responding.
@specific (156)
• South Korea
4 Dec 08
Well,i has also experienced the same situation .It is really very difficult to cope with these incident ,for nobody want to harm each other.A few days ago,one of my friend want to borrow money from me ,i did not know how to refuse to her request ,so i agreed her.But i was in korea ,not in china.If i lend her money ,she can not return me the money on time ,how can i live in a alien country.Apparently,it is a very complex problem.It cornered me for a few days,then i called my mom to ask for advice.My mother told me that i can not lend money to my friend ,for the money is enough for a year's fees.So ,i told my fiend that i was in trouble ,my mother do not allow me to lend money to others.I hold the view that you can interact with your friend in gentle voice.If your friend is really a trustworthy person ,he must promise his words .As a result , you shoud talk to your friend natully.If you feel that you are shy to talk about money with your friend ,that means you are not close friend.It is a fault that you lend money to him .But it is also a good lesson which guide you do with money matter more experienced.
1 person likes this
• China
4 Dec 08
I am not a student. I live on my own. So I can't take your advice from your mother. But maybe you are right, I could take a lesson from it at least.
@chabawel (330)
• Philippines
4 Dec 08
When money is owed, payment is expected out of the person whom you lend the money to. But, if your friend is avoiding you even to apologize for not paying on time, then there's something wrong. You need to confront your friend and ask what's going on in his life,why he's not paying. If he's the one who made the promise that he'll pay you back but unable to do so AGAIN, then you need to explain to him that he will not able to ask money from you again once he won't be able to pay the money he owed to you. Just take this as a LESSON learned in life to be very careful in lending your money especially if it's to a friend. Hope you'll get your money back.Happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
• China
4 Dec 08
I don't think I could ask him to pay me back again and again. That's not we chinese way of doing it. thanks anyway
@catgirl9 (17)
• United States
4 Dec 08
Just because he didn't pay you back yet that doesn't mean he's not a good friend. He may have just forgotten about it or he may be in a tough spot where he hasn't had the ability to pay you back yet. Bring it up to him politely and let him know that you really do need to be paid back as soon as possible. If it's a large amount of money maybe you two can set up some sort of payment plan if necessary. If it is a very small amount of money you may be better off just letting it go because friends help each other out all the time. Hope this helps!
• China
4 Dec 08
It's a large amount of money, at least for me. Maybe just like you said he is short of money, can't pay me back. Yet at least I think he could told me that, I can understand.
@silverglint (2001)
• Philippines
4 Dec 08
Maybe you can try to breeze thru the topic lightly while the two of you are together. You can go like, "hey, were you able to pay me back that money you borrowed?, it just passed my mind". But of course, there is the risk of him ignoring your question. Some people say that it is better to give than to lend money to friends, less it harms the friendship. I guess that is what they meant by that. Your friend should know enough to keep his word. If he gave his word that he will pay you back then he should have and if by any reason, he can't, he should have at least talked to you about it. I don't know, but isn't that an issue to respect? like if he respects you enough to at least exert the effort of talking to you? or maybe he is just too ashamed to bring up the issue..
• China
4 Dec 08
That's better an idear, talking about it accidently, which would be fine for both of us. thanks, pal.
@gracie04 (4555)
• Philippines
4 Dec 08
if he's really your bestfriend, then there's no problem asking him to pay the money you lent him.. ask him nicely about it.
• China
5 Dec 08
thanks my pal.
@samijo719 (1054)
• United States
4 Dec 08
Just be honest and upfront without seeming angry and offensive. Just say "I really hate to bring this up but I really need you to pay me back the money I loaned you because now I need it" And just tell them that you need the money back to pay for expenses and be honest. If they are a good friend as you say they should completely understand.
• China
5 Dec 08
sounds reasonable, I will try it. thanks, my pal.