Sound relation between Cancer survivors and caregivers makes a huge difference..

I need you, you need me, let's live together... - A healthy relation between the Survivors and caregivers makes a difference.
@mimpi1911 (25464)
India
December 4, 2008 3:41am CST
Cancer is a social disease and I remember writing long essays as a child as a part of our curriculum. But, I only got to the feel of it recently when my uncle was diagnosed with lung cancer. I have great regards for this person who has been surviving it all! Kudos... Having said that, we as the caregivers have to show some patience with them as well. We must not overdo and say stuffs like you look healthy when they are not or tell stories about those who had cancer and died or even not tell them that we've never known anyone who was cured of cancer by using chemo... While dealing with a survivor, we must be wise and empathetic. And just think before we speak. And if we do not have anything good and optimistic we better not speak at all. Peace and good health.
5 people like this
6 responses
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
4 Dec 08
Empathy is definitely the key emotion to be expressed in situations like this in my opinion. Many people will fall into the mindset that it is sympathy that is required insetad and this is not productive. Any battle with any disease can be just as effectively fought with the mind as it can with treatment, medications and the body itself. A well balanced approach that embraces an empathetic stand coupled with motivating and positive encouragement can assist greatly to lift the person concerned. Sympathy can lead them in the completely opposite direction. Sympathy can cause a person to wallow in their own misgivings and become consumed by them rather than feel the desire to fight from within. The challenge though is of course in finding this balance. People that are suffering KNOW the potential of their disease already and the last thing they need is for others to consistently remind them of the same. A positive, patient and constructive empathetic approach made by any caregiver has a far greater chance of being absorbed by the person concerned in a beneficial manner. And yes, saying something for the sake of just saying something can do more harm than good. Sometimes just BEING there can be enough.
3 people like this
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
5 Dec 08
Thanks James. Dealing with a terminally ill patient is not an easy task. Many times a simple, HELLO works wonders and many times that boomerangs back. So, going by the psyche of the patient and acting accordingly would be the right kinda approach. It depends on how the patient is feeling on that particular day. They get very emotional and sensitive and sometimes - oh you are looking fine - or - you still have lovely hair - can make you feel guilty! It's a very sensitive issue and I am getting to the intricacies of it all.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
4 Dec 08
Yes, you are very much right, we should be very careful and sympathetic, while interacting with a patient suffering from Cancer like disease. Some of us, sometimes forget that we should not narrate negative experiences in front of a patient, specially when one is admitted in a hospital. I have faced the similar experience, like you are facing. One of my dear Uncles was diagnosed with the lung cancer few years ago and we just could not believe it. He remained in the hospital for around two months, before his end came. But whenever we used to see him, we always used to talk positive and interestingly, he being very jovial and positive in nature, would say - "You people please donot worry about me, I'll be alright after the proper treatment". Till his last days, he never gave up hope, he was always optimistic that he would survive and there is treatment available for every disease, he thought. On the other hand, once my boss's son was admitted in a hospital due to some cronic fever. We went to see him, the colleague who was with me was outspoken, though very nice. Instead of consoling my boss, he said - 'Sir, one of my relatives was also suffering from the same disease, however, he could not survive.". I was taken aback and shockingly surprised after listening to his experience. Later on, when we came out, I told him that he should not have told such experience in front of a patient, which may depress the patient further.
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
6 Dec 08
That's such a profound response, I really appreciate. You have shared a nice experience here. That's goes to show how much we lack common sense! We must be very careful and if situation demands better not speak at all. Just be being there we could be of so much help!
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
6 Dec 08
Thanks for your kind words about my response. Yes, we must be sensitive on such occasions and think twice-thrice before saying anything in fron of a patient. I feel people should be educated about it. Our physical presence along side a patient gives him/her a moral boost and belief that people are there to look after him/her.
@riyasam (16556)
• India
4 Dec 08
my mother is a b*east cancer survivor and i know some people can be very creul(rather undiplomatic)they already have weakened minds and to top it,some of well meaning friends,create more terror.they say,like they said to my mom.we have seen people who completely go bald after chemo(my mother had to undergo chemotherapy)but dont you worry,new hair will come later on.we did have a hurricance task of convincing our mom for asenting to chemo.better these people not speak at all.
@riyasam (16556)
• India
5 Dec 08
they sure are brave.more,i say,strong willed.
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
5 Dec 08
I am sorry to hear that. Cancer survivors are bravehearts and they have survive so many other social, emotional, economical things apart from the illness. God bless.
2 people like this
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
4 Dec 08
Good advice, as a positive attitude is healing whereas being a grumpy person just drags others down with us, which is not at all what a sick person needs.
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
5 Dec 08
Thanks hun.
1 person likes this
@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
4 Dec 08
Hi dear Its really sad to know about ur Uncle Hope he is at earliar stage and cant be cured U r very right that caregiver must be patience and should know what to talk, as some one who is sick, already become senstive and get irritated soon, its not easy job, they should work in way that that sick person feel happy, and major task of doct and caregivers must be ""provide quality of life as sure no one increase quantity of life"" this is what my younger brother says who is doc too wish u and ur uncle all the best
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
5 Dec 08
Hi Zass I really appreciate your thoughts there. Quality of life is what it takes to make us happy and that in a what heals a lot of hurts. We humans are full if it, isn't it! We must ensure empathy for each other. That would makes a whole lot of difference. Thanks.
1 person likes this
@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
6 Dec 08
Thanks for Liking it sure empathy for each other is essence of socirty and keep it strong and close Take care
• Philippines
5 Dec 08
Oh yeah I agree with you. Its not that easy to be in that situation of having such illness. Its the hardest. we just dont know how they feel. People should be nice to all those who have overcome and survive. May caregivers would be sooooooo just nice to them.
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
5 Dec 08
Thanks carmel. Empathy works wonders i all spheres of life and we must try to be closer to that.
1 person likes this