Love over friendship. What would you choose?
By Unah08
@Unah08 (671)
Philippines
December 4, 2008 9:03pm CST
Do you agree that love between friends would break their friendship apart? I have this guy friend who confesses his liking for me in a not so obvious manner, but I can feel what he's up to, however I keep on blocking him up every time he would bring such topic to one of our conversation and change the flow of our discussion as possibly as I can. Its not that I don't like him but I'm just afraid it would ruin what we have right now, he is my best guy pal and I don't want to think that if it wouldn't work out for us we will end up hating each other. What do you think about this? Help.
2 people like this
19 responses
@steelwater (132)
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
i think if you truly like him and romantically love him enough that seeing him just as friends breaks your heart, then better take the relationship above the 'just friends' level and take a chance on love. otherwise keep him as your best buddy :)
1 person likes this
@steelwater (132)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
you are welcome, i am just sharing what i think i know, i am a very bad advice giver hehehehe belated happy valentines day
1 person likes this
@Albee22 (41)
• Malaysia
5 Dec 08
For my opinion,i think before you fall in love with someone ..must be confidence your feeling toward the relationship.Is it really your long lasting true love or just a fate good friend? After you confirm yourself feeling just go ahead.No confusing ,No regret anymore..And always pray for your ralationship.God will guide your way^-^.Gambatea ya!!
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (37968)
• Philippines
5 Dec 08
It would really depend on how you want it. There are people who is much more comfortable taking both as they already know each other well already and taking it into the next level is just as exciting as it is with friendship. But, there are other people who are just like you where they prefer to maintain what they have right now and taking it the next level is just not an option. I know many friends that turn into lovers and went well in their relationship. I think it is just a matter of how you handle things that would matter.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (37968)
• Philippines
5 Dec 08
Well try to think it over. You have all the time to evaluate how he is to you and validate if you're feelings really does deserved to be on the next level or not. I am not saying that what you are believing in is wrong in any way. Just be aware of what you feel about it and if its not meant to be then maybe you should try staying in that belief. Exploring is okay it would open up many things in life for you to learn.
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
21 Jan 09
[i]Hi Unah,
In a way there are changes...We don't know the flow of relationship but if you will be both successful, I am sure the friendship will enhanced by your love but as I've said, a lot of things might happen!
If I am in the situation and I love the guy, I will not choose our friendship. I will give my love to him if that is what I want and will try to enhance and cultivate it each day![/i]
1 person likes this
@mercuryman3a (2477)
• India
6 Dec 08
I think you are doing the right thing. I believe that friendship is greater than love because of teh simple reason that a friend ship which has stood the test of time can slowly turn into love, but love which has started blindly, when gone sour can not revert to friendship. Friendship is a more lasting relationship and if you do not want to spoil that, let it stay that way and don't let love take wings.
1 person likes this
@sinnedsejatnom (1311)
• Philippines
24 Dec 08
I do experience this one also. I courted my bestfriend. We do have a love relationship for two weeks but after few months, our friendship was affected. We no longer communcicate until now.Sigh
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
5 Dec 08
It certainly changes the relationship, I guess once two people become involved it puts the friendship on a different level which means if for some reason it doesn't last then the feelings can be hard to maintain that friendship you had before especially if one gets a new love in their life, getting involved can ruin a good friendship..
1 person likes this
@Unah08 (671)
• Philippines
5 Dec 08
yeah, that is what I'm afraid of actually, I don't want to lose him if ever things don't go the way he wanted them to be. I've had my relationship before and I know that I'm the type of a person who have a hard time accepting my ex-boyfriend to be my friends again, well at least I'm over them and the pain is gone which normally took a long time for me. I mean for me when something is over it's really over. Well thanks for your thoughts on this, I really appreciate it. Take care.
@p3halliwel2005 (3156)
• Philippines
5 Dec 08
If you want me to choose I will choose friendship over love...love sometimes ruins good friendship and once you fall inlove with a friend and have a bad break up you can never be good friends again. The love for him I will keep yes but I would just make it as love for a friend. I wouldn't want to lose him forever and in keeping opur friendship atleast I can keep him for a long time.
1 person likes this
@balacancer22 (1148)
• India
5 Dec 08
I think he really loves you and want you to be more than his friend..thats why he is stressing this thing everytime when you bring up this topic..i advice that you better think about his issue really soon because you may be losing a good friend or making him your best enemy...happy mylotting..
1 person likes this
@n30wing (4767)
• Philippines
5 Dec 08
Friendship is a good foundation for relationship. Usually it really last long. But unfortunately their is also the negative side on it. You said it right what if the relationship doesn't work out even the friendship is ruin. That is the scar y part of it. Would you take the consequences? It's your ball! But if I want the friendship that will last I will just rather be his best pal or a confidante. Have a nice day to you!
1 person likes this
@Unah08 (671)
• Philippines
6 Dec 08
Yeah I've been thinking about it if it's worth to try, I'm weighing my options at the moment, but if you ask me I really want our friendship to last, but if I turn him down when he ask me to be you know his partner or if he is allowed to court me, would he hate me, I mean how you do guys take such situation like that. I don't want to hurt his feelings. What a dilemma...
@jonnyspirit (66)
• Puerto Rico
5 Dec 08
Well it will result only if you know that you can treat him like an boyfriend and a friend too. Also it depends on your age.
1 person likes this
@jessi0887 (2788)
• United States
5 Dec 08
It changed my friendship. I told a guy friend once about my feelings towards him. We were never friends after that. He started ignoring a lot of people after that. I don't know what got into him, but I don't regret it.
@zhangfzoe (432)
• China
5 Dec 08
Every coins has two sides. Since you're the best friend and know each other well, the friendship is very good. But think over it , you know him so well , if his love bring you somthing different and move you deeply, why not give him a chance? You should not rush to a conclusion,time will tell you how to react. If the friend consist his love for you, he may be a good boyfriend.And your relationship will change dramtically.Good luck!
1 person likes this
@lumenmom (1986)
• United States
5 Dec 08
I can see the possibility of that happening or at least the relationship would change in such a way that you could not return back to being friends once you cross that line. There seems to be a level of tolerance and security in the friendship that is lost when you become lovers. The emotions can get more raw and intense and can be very stressful especially when things go wrong.
1 person likes this
@forceflow (17)
• United States
5 Dec 08
it does change the relation ship (a lot)but if you guys got together or watever
and break up it possibly could not hurt your friendship or it could so if you (do)get together it will change what you have or if you (dont)get together he could say
well okay i guss we can remain just friends (or)
if were not gonna get together that were no longer friends you *****
now good day or good night der der der now im sure he wouldent swear but he could
........thats my thought for you....................:)
1 person likes this
@littlevv29 (20)
•
5 Dec 08
thats a hard one if you dont think you could still be friends with him afterwards if it dont work out. i guess you just have to decide if you want to take that chance to see where it will go. or just keep him as a close friend. but if he keeps bringing it up i guess that would mean he wants it so just think about your feelings and if you want and go from there! hoped i helped but thats a hard decision good luck
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