how to forget someone?grrrrr need help

@piya84 (2591)
India
December 8, 2008 8:23am CST
hello guys there is this guy...i came across few months ago...n i felt tremendous attraction towards him.. i literally felt like i hav got my soul mate...after some interaction .. after 1-2 months i realised he was total player [thnk god!!!]....n i wanna forget him... and move on in life..but something is wrong...although i know he is bad guy...i am nt able to forget him...please tell me what to do...its not possible to cut contacts completely...as we belong to same bizness...everytime he come across..n start feeling tremendous attraction :P..oh god how to overcome this situation? have u faced such a situation in ur life...what ya did?
1 person likes this
21 responses
@stella1989 (2274)
• India
9 Dec 08
I WAS in that same situation, the only thing is he is never around and never was.. We had a distance relationship though we lived in the same city.. I felt exactly the same thing.. He is my one any only soul mate!! Believe me I didn't get carried away or something.. I really liked the way he used to pull my leg while I am talking and the way we used to fight like anything.. yes I even loved him for fighting with me and not just agreeing to each and every thing I say. His voice, his personality and the person he was, his Honesty as well. He was very honest. (or that's what he made me to believe..) He even said that he do want to make love to me (screw up).. he also said he doesn't want "only" that .. and he loves me so obviously he wanted to make love to me.. (blah blah..) And Me in front of the person who is clearly stating his feelings or "wants" like this.. I clearly told him that its good that you are honest about it but I can't just hook with some one just in my first meeting (I am virgin) and I must tell you we were in talks with each other since 5 years.. (Ok that's still not an excuse) I tried to convince him to at least meet in public first .. let us take this relationship step by step.. But he never changed.. This made me sick!!! Though I really felt like he was my soul mate.. I never trusted him ..I don't know why ..something never felt right about hooking up.. So I didn't go for it. Do not wanted to get carried away. And gave him a nice Goodbye!! That was 7 months ago. During these 7 months I tried a hell lot to forget him but its just not possible.. (all things written above clearly says that he was an expert player). Even this word "player" came to my mind because of you only.. You reminded me of this.. Last month I failed due to my feelings for him ..so I finally made a move and tried to contact him. 4-5 times I am sure he WAS getting all those messages from me .. but he never replied.. never .. You know the wired thing is ... I got over him only after trying to make him come back to me.. My advice is you are probably trying to hard.. In fact Don't try at all. Have a thought of him in your own time, enjoy and that's it.. Be indifferent towards him.. talk to him like any another colleague of yours.. (it is hard but you have to get over it) Its kind a like getting over of a fear .. by actually facing it!! Try it.. There's no harm in it... And just don't try that much to forget him.. it will take its own time.. And DO NOT go for another relation because of him.. at least not the serious one.. go for some dates.. Keep your self occupied!! And cheer up girl!!
@piya84 (2591)
• India
11 Dec 08
i simply cant believe this....i mean how come these guys do dat :O..Its a art realy...yah they make you believe that they are ur soulmate and many qualities wich actualy they dont have..I have learn a lot from this experiance...whenever in my life i will meet a guy who seems to be a perfect match...i will think 100 of time before making any move..O_o one has to keep ur eye open widely..:P..becoming blind is sure way to fall in trap. thnx for sharing your experiance...yeh i am facing him daily here...few days it was very hard...but now i ma learning to control my own feeling and my heart :P
• India
12 Dec 08
Exactly.. Some guys are really good at this art.. I wonder where they do their schooling for this.. huh.. And see... You have finally started getting over him.. Don't worry and don't rush .. time will heal!! Take care piya!!
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
9 Dec 08
Piya, it is simple answer is - "where there is a will, there is a way". If you are determined to forget him, you will have take a strong approach. You just cannot be emotional just on seeing him, once you allow yourself to be guided by your emotions (and heart) you cannot ignore him. It is you who has to take a bold decision and it you continue to remind your mind that you have to 'ignore' that guy, you can do it. You have to believe in yourself and also no need to think too much about that guy, just try to divert your energies somewhere else, which could be productive for you. Best of Luck!
@piya84 (2591)
• India
9 Dec 08
we all face this situation at some stage of our life.....in my past i have encounter this situation more than one time..it wasnt dat much hard for me to move on...but this time its realy difficult ..its been 2-3 months i am trying to pulled out this guys out of my brain...my heart..but huh!!no use
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
10 Dec 08
Either you will have to listen to voice of your heart or voice your head (brain). You need to stick to either side. It is upto you, which way you wish to go, wherever you wish to go, please check, what is the best for you in present and in future. Best of Luck to you and best wishes!
• Philippines
8 Dec 08
You can begin by cutting the communication lines.. Find another business or come to work on a different schedule.. Then keep busy with other activities outside your line of work.. Start a new hobby, read a good book, make new friends.. Most importantly, I want to ask you this question: How's your relationship with God? Sometimes, we human beings get so wrapped up with our relationships with other people that we neglect our relationship with the One who loves us unconditionally and accepts us for who we are.. I've been into several relationships with guys before and I've never been happier when I've learned that the PRIMARY relationship that's worth having is that with the Lover of my soul: JESUS, who gave Himself up just so I could live.. :)
@piya84 (2591)
• India
8 Dec 08
hey thnx a lot for ur reply...i have tried everything..hobbies..keeping mind bizy with other things..but u know i cant cut contacts completely with him with him....
@piya84 (2591)
• India
8 Dec 08
n thnx for the realtionshp with god advice...i will keep in in mind
• India
11 Dec 08
There is a way but might be difficult. As you are in same business, you cant avoid contact. But what you can do is always keep thinking of all the bad situations you could have been in if you have been with him. Co-relate to him to an animal that you don't even like to see (for example, cockroach) Co-realate his features and actions to that animal and probably you can come out of this situation.
@piya84 (2591)
• India
11 Dec 08
thnx for sdvise...yah it may work..but i have deal with him daily due to my bizness...so i want to have my mind nuetral toward him n nt negative.:P
@zhengyu (61)
• China
9 Dec 08
yeah ,I have met the same trouble . There's one person I can't forget ,and I have tried many times and many ways to sweep her impression from my brain . At last , I found a method . I always think of her weakness and the mistake she made . After a several attempt, I feel it usefull . If you can't find a good method , why don't you have a try ?
@piya84 (2591)
• India
11 Dec 08
hmmm oki i will try this..thnx 4 advise :)
• China
9 Dec 08
I had the same situation with you before.The same college we stay in,it can not avoid that we come across everyday.I haven`t be attracted by a girl before,that feeling when i see her and stay with her is so beautiful.But she just want to be friend with me,when i knew what she was thinking,my heart was hurt badly,i can not accept the reality,because i literally want to be her boyfriend. The fact can not be changed easily,the only thing i can do was to forget her and find back myself.On the world,there are many things needed to be done by myself,and the love is just a not so important thing for me. Anyone wants a wonderful life,i admit that love a makes your life more wonderful,but love is not the only thing!
@piya84 (2591)
• India
9 Dec 08
yeh thnx a lot...ya there r other imp things!
• Indonesia
9 Dec 08
yeah ive been there done that..it was hard b4, but i decided to be strong n be tough with myself that i wont think bout him again, not as my man but just a friend..how i did it ? is just by facing it..coz that way, we can see n accept the fact that we do still care bout him, still have that passion, but it wont be the same again n that he wasnt meant for us..well yeah, thats how i did it but i dont know if it will work with u tho.. hope it helps u a bit..
@piya84 (2591)
• India
9 Dec 08
yup thnx for advise
• China
9 Dec 08
Hi, I have had same experience as you before. At that time, I just studied in junior high school. I liked a guy who looks handsome and had very good achievement on study. But I was very shy and never let him know this. Then soon after I found he was a playboy, there were many girls who liked him, and he didn't notice me at all. Although, it's still hard for me to forget him. So I just put him inside my heart, and no one knows. Now I have my own family, but very seldom think about this, and this is just a memory. But at that time, it's very bad feeling, just like you. I can't give you any help, but only can understand you. I think there must be some aspects on him to attract you, so it's hard for you to refuse these charm. But since you know he is not good, what you should do is to control yourself, although this is very hard, but you have to. Maybe someday you will suddenly be aware that he is not worth to like at all.
@piya84 (2591)
• India
9 Dec 08
yeh u are right..these playboy kinda guys have some unusual charm..they know how to talk with ladies...i got realy mad for him...my heart told me to go ahead with relationship...but thnx god my brain was working at dat time..so i pulled bak myself.. ya thnx for sharing ur feelings yao ..i feel little relax knowing this happen with other pople also...n i am nt the only odd dunbo emotional creature here on earth.:P
@ericzl (9)
9 Dec 08
He or she was your lover,at one time he maybe give you some impressive scenes.now you were finished with her or him.If you want to forget him/her,you should try to blend in an new environment and do things that is nothing with her/him.I think that isn't a wise idea to think of him a bad guy.
@piya84 (2591)
• India
9 Dec 08
he wasnt my lover at all...it was just begining...we were just looking for each other...but few common frends warn me on correct time..so fewww i amsafe :P
@allen0187 (33857)
• Philippines
9 Dec 08
never ever try to forget someone, it simply doesn't work that way. instead of trying to forget the guy try to get even. i'm sure you'll feel a lot better. cheers!!!
@piya84 (2591)
• India
9 Dec 08
forget i mean to say..i wanna get rid of feeling of attraction..i wanna become nutral..but u know everytime i came around and my heart start beating faster .:P grrrr...latter i get angry on myself dat i am nt able to control myself..
• Philippines
9 Dec 08
Keep yourself busy. And maybe you can go on with dates and meet other guys. U know, you can't stay in that place where you will always see him and feel the "feeling" all over again. Maybe if you could find a guy who is worthy, not a "total player" for that matter... You will definitely be more happy. Meet up with friends. ^___^ Be inlove with the right one. Haha. Cheers!
@myskina (182)
• China
9 Dec 08
so sorry to hear that something wrong with you , sometimes maybe you met the bad luck , i know , perhaps you even can not be a friend now .... but i want to you know , time will forget all , include .... next one you will meet a better , trust me best wishes for you , friend ``
@mz2981 (36)
• Qatar
9 Dec 08
Try to reschedule your time so that you will not see him. Add some work or activities to occupy your vacant time, so you will be too busy to the extend that you don't have time to think of him. When you see him just make sure you will have a short interaction. Time will come you will get rid of your felling for him.
@becnh83 (806)
• Philippines
9 Dec 08
girl, always be with your friedns and have some outings so that u will forget him abd meet some other guys too, make yourself busy too bith work and fun...i know someone out there waited you and will loved you more than you do... happy mylotting friend and advance merry christmas...
• Philippines
9 Dec 08
i think it would help if you go out and have fun. not totally hooking up with another guy, but just try to enjoy your time being single. indulge yourself with thing you didn't do before coz your restricted by your relationship. try to find a hobby or a sport.
• India
9 Dec 08
try to friendship with other one.
@gracie04 (4555)
• Philippines
9 Dec 08
it's tough to see the person you really like everyday.. you said he's a player so it's better if just forget about him.. you'll just end up hurting if you pursue a relationship with a player.. it's best if you divert your attention to someone else or make yourself busy.. go out with your friends and have fun!
• Philippines
9 Dec 08
That is not good. I think you really have to move on. I know that would be difficult thing to do especially if he really means a lot to you. Well, I think you really have to pray. Pray for god that you will forget him. Have friends to share with and expose yourself to the world and have more fun. Make yourself more glooming ever so there will be more men who will date you. And find another men who is worthy for your love.
• India
8 Dec 08
i faced a situation like this...i wanted to forget a person...wat i did was i didnt see the person for a long time...i took a long peaceful vacation for 2-3 weeks....totally shifted my place to another location...it takes time but you can leave him...wt ever happens life has to go on....
@sirrob (4112)
• Philippines
8 Dec 08
It might just be like breaking up with the your boyfriend. It is not that easy but it's not that hard either. The only hard thing is to make the first step towards letting go and time will follow that you can move on. You need activities that will divert your attention to something else and away from the guy. Just remember that this won't happen overnight and it takes time and all you have to do is make the first step. Start erasing those things that would remind you of him.