The panda did it!!!!!!
By wanderer086
@wanderer086 (759)
December 27, 2008 5:33am CST
Well I gave my panda the bamboo furniture for his birthday and he did not even try to sit on it. He just gobbled it all up. Now he is so fat he could not run away from a spanking if he wanted to. The only trouble is he has got such terrible wind I cannot stand do get near enough to him to give him a spanking. He deserves one. What can I do? I have thought about getting a long handled spanker but it is not long enough.
3 people like this
7 responses
@sconibear (8016)
• United States
27 Dec 08
you need a heat seeking, laser guided, remotely operated, self leveling, armor piercing, all terrain, multi function, glow in the dark, amphibious, voice recognition, telescopic, four wheel drive, diesel powered, high velocity panda spanker,
2 people like this
@sconibear (8016)
• United States
27 Dec 08
thanks for answering the call Lash.
*puts clothes pin on Lash's nose*
NOW GET IN THERE!!!
1 person likes this
@wanderer086 (759)
•
27 Dec 08
Wow! if you can do it lash I will keep you in mind. I just hope you can stand the smell as it permeates for about 100 metres.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
27 Dec 08
Fat panda = big arsed panda wanderer..... In panda spanking terms, this is like winning the lottery! 
There is only one thing for it and that is to engage the panda using the double handed spank action. This is a rare move for very unique occasions, but given that the panda has eaten ALL the furniture and the long-handled spanker isn't long enough, then there is no other choice. He's got it comin' and lucky you for being the one that's gonna give it to him! The wind is an issue though I must admit. My advice on this front is move him tpo a very well ventilated area, warm up both hands to ensure you don't pull any tendons and spank away! You are one lucky person wanderer as the double handed, fat arsed panda spank is a goal of many, yet realized by only a few. 
There is only one thing for it and that is to engage the panda using the double handed spank action. This is a rare move for very unique occasions, but given that the panda has eaten ALL the furniture and the long-handled spanker isn't long enough, then there is no other choice. He's got it comin' and lucky you for being the one that's gonna give it to him! The wind is an issue though I must admit. My advice on this front is move him tpo a very well ventilated area, warm up both hands to ensure you don't pull any tendons and spank away! You are one lucky person wanderer as the double handed, fat arsed panda spank is a goal of many, yet realized by only a few. 2 people like this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
29 Dec 08
Oh, the indescribable joys of anticipation Lash! HE knows he's gonna get it..... I know I'm gonna give it to him...... The hairs are standing up on my arms just thinking about those seconds ticking down to the moment of spanking! Tick, tock, tick, tock.....
@wanderer086 (759)
•
27 Dec 08
I have told him what I am going to do James and he is shaking in his boots but I am going to give him a day to think about it and hope the smell will go away. I am practising the two handed spank. I am really looking forward to it.
1 person likes this
@grandpa_lash (5225)
• Australia
27 Dec 08
Yes, I should have mentioned, the delay is not just for the anticipation, it is also to allow the odour to go, and doing it yourself will incidentally relieve me of the necessity for an unscheduled spanking trip.
Lash
2 people like this
@grandpa_lash (5225)
• Australia
27 Dec 08
Anticipation is all the beter. Make sure your panda knows he is going to be spanked in the near future, describe his punishment to him, lovingly, and in great detail. And when the time comes, have him bend over with no help from you, and stand absolutely still until you have chastised him.
And one other thing: don't, for heaven's sake, buy any more bamboo furniture. You should really spank yourself for your short-sightedness. Or find someone to do the spanking for you, but not the panda, that is a sure way to confuse him.
Lash
2 people like this
@wanderer086 (759)
•
27 Dec 08
I thought it was a good standby in case I forgot to feed him. He had just had a big meal before I gave it to him and I thought he would like a lie down. Instead of that he ate it all. I know I need a spanking but I am not going to do it to myself especially as I had good intentions. The best laid plans....
@sixclix (677)
• Philippines
27 Dec 08
the fact alone that you have a real, live panda, is cool and I don't think he deserves a spanking.
I want a panda.
If I had one, I'll consruct a house of bamboo so it can gobble it up and be as fat as it wants.
You are talking about a real, live panda right, or am I just not getting it?, which in this case would mean I deserve the spanking!
and I don't think he deserves a spanking.
I want a panda. If I had one, I'll consruct a house of bamboo so it can gobble it up and be as fat as it wants.
You are talking about a real, live panda right, or am I just not getting it?, which in this case would mean I deserve the spanking!
Belated Christmas present Lash? 
@grandpa_lash (5225)
• Australia
27 Dec 08
You definitely deserve a spanking. To understand why, check out:
http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1784989.aspx
Lash
2 people like this
@michel_sun (219)
• China
22 Jan 09
It's surprsing that you have a panda. Owning pandas privately in China is illegal. But, yeah, pandas are very cute. I like them very much.
@sharra1 (6340)
• Australia
28 Dec 08
Hmmm that was a bad choice of birthday present. I think a nice paddle or cane is a much better birthday present. Then both you and your panda get to have fun playing with it.
You will need to wait for the smell to die down of course. But since you have described the new present that you are going to give your panda I am sure he will make every effort to get rid of that problem as fast as possible.
