Does It Irritate You?

United States
December 28, 2008 11:31am CST
I emailed a friend of mine yesterday. He even came online on my messenger and I sent him a message and he didn't respond back. I know he has told me that sometimes if he gets online on his cell phone that messenger automatically logs him in even if he isn't on messenger and any messages sent he doesn't receive. I'm assuming this could have happened, but it irritates me that he hasn't gotten back to me. Maybe he hasn't gotten the email yet or the messages, I don't know. But I guess it just kills me that he hasn't gotten back to me yet. I guess I'm just kind of ranting here, but how would it make you feel? Do you get impatient when you are waiting for someone to call you back, email you, or message you? I know I do and I'm really really impatient right now.
4 people like this
17 responses
• United States
28 Dec 08
Yeah that would bug the heck out of me that's why I don't e-mail too much. I get tired of waiting for people to find the time to e-mail you. The one that bugs me is a friend who can send you a half dozen forwards but can't even say HI! Same with some of the folks on IM,,,, I understand I have more time than others but would it kill them to talk to a person for 5-10min rather than ignore them? I can see if they'd say Oh I'm just checking this, I'll be back on later... that's fine but completly ignored....GRRR. The sad thing is people are so busy they don't always take the time to slow down and say HI even if it's thru an e-mail or IM.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
That's true. Sometimes people do need to just slow down and take a breather. Say hi to a friend and maybe let out a little stress by talking to someone about their problems. I know this certain friend is always on the go, always busy. I wish I could get him to take a slow down for a few minutes just for himself. Thanks for the comment! Happy MyLotting, SingleMommy
• United States
29 Dec 08
The friend who sends me fwd's constantly is employed full time and goes to school full time and has a rather large family to contend with. I'm glad she just graduated school but I'm going to hate to see how little I talk to her once she does start her own family. As I've thought about writing her off for a while now because she doesn't feel like she's that much a part of my life anymore.
1 person likes this
@syeryn (574)
• United States
28 Dec 08
No I don't get impatient. They will get in touch with me when they have the time and if they don't so be it. On the otherhand, I get irritated with the ones who want to no nothing more than IM all day long... Personally, I rarely asnwer emails. If one requires a response, I do it within a day or two of receiving it and I have uninstalled all of the instant messengers I had because you can waste an entire day responding to people who want to IM you. At first I tried to be polite and say nice talking to you but I am working here and cannot talk all day. However they just kept on rambling so I cut off the IM phone line and now no one can contact me that way.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
I suppose if you don't want to be bothered then getting rid of your messengers would be a good thing. If I'm in the mood that I don't want to be then I just don't turn mine on. Thanks for the comment. Happy MyLotting, SingleMommy
@syeryn (574)
• United States
29 Dec 08
Everything is good in moderation. I did enjoy IM for a while but when friends became demanding about their need for me to respond to them immediately regardless of how busy I was -- well it ticked me off. I have needs too and my job in life is not to see that their needs are met. If they were really my friends they would understand that I could not always drop everything to reply to them instantly. Their refusal to respect the fact crossed the line into an invasion of my right to enjoy my time the way I saw fit and not the way my friends dictated. So, I axed the IM program and limit who I can receive email from.
1 person likes this
@munhozmib (3853)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
28 Dec 08
Hello, singlemommy. I cannot stand when people do that. I have a female friend that, some weeks before the vacation, I sent her a message on our social network website. She did not answer me. I asked her, later (and personally), if she received it, and she said she did. But still, she didn't answer my question. I entered on MSN and she was online sometimes. Of course I did not expect her to just hit my name in there and start typing with me. But I sent her a message, and she did not answer. This really made me sad, because I like her so much, our friendship is so strong, but she still does that. Then I told her, in a good way, not angry nor mad: "I am not going to send you anymore messages, nor anything. After all, you never answer them. I'm not going to call you anymore either." It was the last day of class, so I said: "Knowing that, I'll see ya again in March.". She sent me scraps, sent me mails, sent me everything now that we are on vacation. But I'm not like responding to them. I do respond, but not like I would like to. In fact, I'm just afraid of writing her a great response, and start a conversation, and she just do not answer me anymore. Therefore, in the few messages she has sent me, I did answer, but not with a very enthusiastic response. Respectfully, Munhozmib.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
I'm sorry that your friend treats you this way. That is terrible of her. Maybe she will realize what she did and try to treat you better in the future. Thanks for sharing your story. Happy MyLotting, SingleMommy
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
28 Dec 08
I used to get very impatient and it used to wind me up, but then I was hurting myself, in getting yourself stressed, wound up and irritated you are making yourself feel bad and mentally drained, it it not a healthy process, some people are very slow in responding, some people don't have the etiquette to respond, and because we have our principles about certain things, when people don't come up to our standards we do get annoyed with them and irritated. I have learnt to shrug it off and accept that they may be busy or something else has cropped up. But it's also good to rant too get it out of your system, the worst thing you can do is bottle things up, have a good rant, when he responds he will but you could always let him know 'nicely' that you were put out because he didn't respond!
@jenrl17 (420)
• United States
29 Dec 08
Lol Im still trying to deal with being impatient. I know getting all worked up about things wont change anything, that, like you said, Im just unnecessarily stressing myself out, hurting my health, so Im still trying to teach myself to calm down lol. I do have a habit of expecting people to have the same standards I do, to be courteous etc, like how I grew up and when theyre not, I think its rude and inconsiderate, but youre right. People get busy and theyll get around to responding to you when they can, and thats fine, as long as its in a reasonable amount of time, not months later. You made some very good points.
1 person likes this
• Taiwan
29 Dec 08
yes , it sometimes irritate me especially when its impostant or i want to talk something from him/her or its been a long time i havent seen him/her and just wanna hang out. well,i just make a reasonable doubt out of myself, and theres a lot of maybe's and keep myself distracted in other things..
1 person likes this
• India
29 Dec 08
Even I get tensed and irritated when I come across such incidents. Some people go offline when I enter online. Even when they stay online they do not reply to the message sent.
1 person likes this
• China
29 Dec 08
I could't agree more with you!Because i usually in a same situation like you,i almost send him messages everyday,but i never get a respond back.Once I called him 20 times in half an hour,and he just..well,all i get is a auto respond"Sorry!The subscriber you dialed can not be connected for the moment,plz redial later"...I've already get used to it!
1 person likes this
@callarse1 (4791)
• United States
29 Dec 08
Yea, I understand you! I don't understand with people's messengers they are always logged on BUT their messenger doesn't change their status to "idle"/"away" when they aren't in front of the computer? WTF?! My friends tell me the messenger doesn't do that...well perhaps it's not set up in the options but my ALWAYS does that, if I'm not active on the computer it will set all my messengers to away. Umf! Then you have those friends that log in & then they log out. That's annoying too. Or you have those that stay "invisible" all the time. It can be annoying with messenger. Take care. Pablo
1 person likes this
• India
29 Dec 08
yeah i also get irritated when some one is online nd responding to me i just wait for their ans if they say some convencing ans than i say its ok otherwise i just say to them that u should respond i u r there
1 person likes this
@jenrl17 (420)
• United States
29 Dec 08
I can relate to what youre saying. Ill be chatting with someone online, Ill say something or ask them something and sometimes they dont answer. My brother is notorious for that. Hes usually on his cell phone (but still does this when hes on the computer) and if he goes to ask me something, Ill answer it, ask him something back and end up waiting forever for a response probably cause hes not paying attention to see if I responded yet. That drives me nuts. Ive even complained to him about that, but it doesnt do any good lol. Another thing that aggrevates the crap out of me is when I go to email my sister. I hardly ever get a response anymore. In the beginning we emailed very frequently since she doesnt know how to call me and I thought it was the coolest thing to be able to talk to her like that, but now, not anymore. I emailed her 2 weeks ago about my b/f's dad passing away and she never even replied. I thought that perhaps she didnt get the email, just like you thought in your case, so I sent her another one. Still to this day, no response. Even though she may be very busy with her 2 boys and at the time Christmas stuff going on, I think its very rude and inconsiderate for her to not reply anything at all. What makes it worse is, she took the time to email spam to me, a fwd'd email of a Christmas joke that she emailed to all of her friends, included me in it and all it said was, 'merry christmas everyone'. I mean she was at the computer already sending that, so I know she saw my 2 messages but did nothing. I am so tempted to reply back to that email, telling her off, but that wont make things better, so I can relate to what youre saying. Its a shame people can be rude like that, but to not respond to that kind of topic is over the line, I think.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
A year ago the messenger was always our way of communication with me and my husband. Half the world away we have have constantly communicated well with this device. So far we never had problems even if we were very far away from each other. In some case when the messenger is on its maintenance we call each other on the phone and inform about it or if we have problems with work or anything. Communication between two people no matter what way, form or shape is always important. When his messenger is on then for sure he is aware of that. I do not believe you will not be aware of that if you are the owner. One will know if it goes to the cellphone because it will say at the right side of the person's name that he/she is on SMS. Did you see that beside his name? And how impossible would it be that he can't read his cell phone? The more that he will right away be notified that you sent a message and be able to read it at hand. Oh well, maybe he is busy with some other things. It would make me feel bad too. The more I would demand for a reason.
@hildas (3031)
29 Dec 08
My husbands messenger irrates everyone. He is contstantly signed in all the time but he is seldom near his computer. Everyone always comments to him that he never replies to their messages. I always tell him to sign out when he is not on his computer as everyone must think he is online constantly and must think him ignorant when he does not reply. Well as for your friend if he appears online or signs in he must know you are sending him an instant message. Maybe he is busy though or doing other things. I would say to him about this appearing rude as maybe he is unaware that he is doing it also. Yes that really would irrate me also and I would feel like someone was ignoring me as well. I hope you do say to him and get his explanation of him doing this though.
@apples99 (6562)
• United States
28 Dec 08
Well yea I do kind of get impatient especially if someone told me they were gonna email or phone me and they didnt, or if they had me waiting a long time and didnt call me back that really lame, but maybe in your case he might still call maybe something is going on right now, and he couldnt call back yet. well I hope he calls soon. happy posting.
1 person likes this
@bfarrier1 (2082)
• United States
28 Dec 08
Sorry your friend hasnt return your message.My daughter logs on to messenger sometimes and when I try to talk with her she logs out,she says she was just checking her e-mails and didnt stay long enough to get my message so maybe that is what is happening to you.Good luck and have a great evening.
1 person likes this
@lovesummer (1162)
• Malaysia
28 Dec 08
no, don't think I will get impatient. haha unless I am in love with the patient I could get a bit of anxious. :P But stay positive he will get back to you as soon as he get the message. cheers :)
1 person likes this
• India
28 Dec 08
i too get irritated thn even i start ignoring that person
1 person likes this
@aakay4u (799)
• India
28 Dec 08
yes it definitely irritates when the other person whom we are seeing as online doesn't respond.but maybe that person is either not viewing that site or messages due to other preoccupations.however if we are close we should buy their line when they give the reason for not responding.just wait for a minute or two and then also if that person it should be understood.however in my case i get very angry on the other person.
1 person likes this