Do you think flirting with another person is being disloyal or...

@cryw0lf (1302)
United Kingdom
January 2, 2009 10:55pm CST
Do you think flirting with another person is being disloyal or classed as cheating on your partner? (Obviously if you're IN a relationship). Recently a friend of mine has been trying to get me to flirt with him. I see it as disloyal but he says it's just some 'harmless fun'. I'm sure my partner wouldn't see it that way! And anyway, i think it is being rather disloyal, and I'd POSSIBLY class it as a sort of emotional cheating so theres no way in hell i would flirt with him. But what about you? And what do you think i should do in this situation too... (other then flirt with him -.-), do you think i should ditch him as a friend or just ignore his 'flirty' manners? I dont want it to ruin my relationship with my partner. What do you class it as? Disloyal? Cheating? Unacceptable? Or just some harmless fun?
2 people like this
13 responses
@fwidman (11515)
• United States
3 Jan 09
Flirting is harmless fun. It only becomes a problem if the person you are flirting with and you go farther and do something one or both of you may regret later. I cannot see where flirting would be considered as cheating.
@nanayangel (7839)
• Philippines
3 Jan 09
Hi there Crywolf! I believe that it is being disloyal, unfaithful and is a form of cheating. I always tell people who doesn't think so to put theirselves in their significant other's shoes and if they would like their SO to flirt with another person. I believe in the principle of Karma too.
@chiyosan (29405)
• Philippines
4 Jan 09
i agree with you that this is being disloyal. i mean if you are already committed with someone why do you have to flirt with someone else?
@kprofgames (3018)
• United States
4 Jan 09
I admire you for stating your case with your friend. I too, think it is disloyal to "flirt" with another person. In all reality, the innocent flirt can be the start to something that you never intended. Worse yet, the other party takes it more serious then you're intending and then you've got yourself into a situation. There can be a fine line between joking around and flirting. The key is knowing the other person enough that they don't get confused at the horse play and it doesn't get carried away. If it's uncomfortable for you, then that's telling you it shouldn't be happening. I don't think flirting is harmless fun because it DOES open more doors for other behavior. I don't think you should just ditch a friend because you have a difference in opinion; however, if this person were really your friend? They'd understand your discomfort and respect you for standing on what you believe in.
• United States
4 Jan 09
I think each relationship is different. Some people have open relationships and do things that others would never consider doing and it works for them. If you are in a relationship and it doesn't feel right to you or your partner to flirt with someone else then don't do it.
@ajrox1810 (992)
• India
3 Jan 09
Hi, Your problem is a rare one, but as far as I know, if you do that, not only your partner will get angry with you, he may even cheat you, and you will be very guilty of your actions. So, the best reaction currently is to either clearly deny your friend from having any "Harmless Fun". Or you can talk to your partner about this and make him believe that you are not cheating him.
• United States
3 Jan 09
i see it as cheating. i think even if some do see it as harmless fun...if your spouse walked up on it how would they feel? if it was the other way around and you walked up on your spouse filirtign with someone how would you feel? i know i would be hurt nad i know my fiance would be too so its cheating..either way. cheating is not just a physical thing, it can be emotional as well.
• Philippines
3 Jan 09
I don't think that flirting is being disloyal as long as both you and your partner knows that this is just some harmless fun. Another is that you would not lead this flirting into something much deeper. If you don't want it to get in the way of your relationship, just let your partner know that someone is flirting with you or that you are flirting with someone else but assure him/her that it won't lead to anything more. Here's the but... but if your partner says that he/she finds it unacceptable to have you flirting with another and finds it as cheating, then maybe you should just stay away from flirting.
@angemac23 (2005)
• Canada
3 Jan 09
Flirting is not cheating but I think it is disloyal to your partner to flirt with another person.
• China
3 Jan 09
Disloyal,I think. I will tell the person(who want to flirt with me)to stop doing some stupid things Seriously.If he go on do it,i will keep the distance with him.I believe it will be a bad result if it does something wrong.
• United States
3 Jan 09
I think it depends on the nature of the person. Some people are naturally flirtatious and to tell them that they can't "be themselves" just because they are in an exclusive relationship is kind of like trying to change them. Now, me, I am not flirty. I am actually very clumsy and uncomfortable in the whole flirting process so if I were in a relationship, flirting with another person might be worthy of some concern. Because it's not a natural part of my personality. As for your situation... if this guy is really your friend (blah blah blah how many times have we heard that phrase throughout our lifetimes?) he will respect the fact that you don't want to flirt. Be upfront with him and if he's cool with it, great, if not, ditch him. A "friend" wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable.
@babyania (161)
• Philippines
3 Jan 09
i think it's being disloyal. because if you flirt, it means that you are not yet satisfied with your partner.
• Singapore
3 Jan 09
Hmm I don't think its disloyal or cheating but its an unacceptable behaviour. By doing this, one might create tension to the relationship and misunderstandings may occur if you were caught flirting. It is best to avoid flirting. What more if you have found your soulmate already, I don't see a need to flirt around anymore.