possessive grandmother

India
January 6, 2009 1:55pm CST
I am in the middle on a very confusing situation. My husband' s mom is a great grandmother, but completely obsessed with and possesive about our 3 yr old daughter. we stay in a different country and she came and stayed 6 months with us to spend time with her grandchild. And that was just last year. Now we are going for a vacation to our country and byth his parents and my parents stay in the same city. I haven't seen my parents since 2 years and they are also keen to see their grandchild, so I was planning to go to my parents home first. Now my mother-in law has huge problem with that. She wants her grandchild to come to her own home FIRST, and she keeps crying for that. Also keeps telling us it is not customary to for a daughter-in -law to go to her mother's home first. She also keeps telling me to leave my daughter with her and return, so that she can raise her. For our vacation also, she wants me to leave my daughter with her and go wherever I want to. I understand her love and affection for her only son's only child, but wouldn't my parents also want to bond with my daughter? I am so confused. If i don't go to visit her first, there is bound to be tension between us and if i do, I act against my own wish, not to mention disappoint my parents. Also, i give in this once, means she will expect the same everytime. How do i make her explain, my daughter is a toddler, she will stay where i stay and that after not seeing my parents for 2 years, there is no other place i want to go.
1 person likes this
1 response
@jillhill (37384)
• United States
6 Jan 09
Tell her just the way you just told us....that your dauighter is a toddler and will stay where you stay.....and that after not seeing your parents for two years they come first....you must be a saint to have your mother in law stay with you for six months!!!!!!
• India
8 Jan 09
Yea, it was a test of my patience !! She is very nice but i think once her grandchild was born, we have ceased to exist for her !! That I haven't seen my parents for so long doesn't even matter because, I don't matter anymore. I am totally depressed about the whole vacation because one way or the other she is going to be very disappointed and mad at me because she wants ALL the time with my daughter and thats not gonna happen.