Friendship turns to love ! Pros & Cons
By VernO420
@VernO420 (6)
United States
January 9, 2009 6:09pm CST
This is a personal sounding board for me so PLEASE!!!!!!! help me out with some advice!! Ive known this girl for almost 3 years now
she has a child which I dont mind but we all have issues and she
has lived a very rough life from a very young age ! I cant begin to tell you how bad its been for her but Im a man and it brings me to cry every time!! So it need not be said that shes very untrusting Ive been her friend and seen so much that I didnt realize that she had stole my heart Now Ive let her know this as a friend and out of respect for her ! the only set back is Even though it shouldnt be this way its just life She has a child and if I cant stand up and be a man and help them out I shouldnt
even be in there lives! She says she loves me too but with the ditrust she has and its bad Im the only male friend she even lets around her child!!I know its gonna take time but what are some of the ways to gain trust in this situation!
3 responses
@LaurenInLA (2270)
• United States
10 Jan 09
Be kind patient and make sure that she always has a reason to trust you. Treat her with respect and make sure that you always communicate with her. Just a personal note. I had a very good friend for three years. We started to date and six months later, we got married. That was thirty six years ago. Friendship is a great catalyst for a more meaninful relationship. Best of luck to you.
@mysticmaggie (2498)
• United States
10 Jan 09
If you want to gain her trust, go slow, never lie to her, and listen. It sounds as though she's had enough in her life to make her distrust everyone around her. Rushing her into anything is almost certain to prove disasterous. If you ever lie or even fib a tiny bit and she finds out, you will lose any chance of gaining her trust. Listening is the hardest thing to do. We all have the urge to talk and solve problems with cliche answers. Let her talk and if you truly listen, what she says will tell you what she needs to trust you and move from friend to a more serious relationship. Right now, it sounds like she needs a friend more than a lover. Be patient.
