should i seek professional help to improve self-esteem?

@mazdakid (347)
Philippines
January 11, 2009 10:22pm CST
hi all! i've always had a bad case of ultra-low self-esteem since i was young. i've always thought of myself as inferior and unattractive. however, after several years of success and a lot of dates (not that i'm bragging. hehe), i still feel inferior about myself. i mean, when i used to work as a bank teller, all the clients were very nice to me and even gave me gifts during the holidays. when i resigned there, the clients expressed their sadness when i was about to leave. when i moved to a new company, my team was happy with the changes that i made and were literally crying when i left on my last day when i resigned after two years. people say that i do not look bad and i am fortunate to have attracted quite a few people for dates. but, still, i feel very inferior about myself? i think something's very wrong with me because i am still not convinced about my capabilities despite all the overwhelming evidences. should i start seeking professional advice? or is it just a phase? thanks in advance!
2 people like this
13 responses
• United States
12 Jan 09
I do not think it is a phase if you have felt like that most or all of your life. I will tell you a lot of people feel the same way you do. There was almost not a day goes by that I do not feel inferior or not a good person. It is almost like a tape playing that says "You are fat, ugly, and a bad person." Well it has been going on since I was very young. My psychologist says it is major depression. with me and I am on antidepressant medications. Now I have bouts of depression but not everyday. I worked 20 years at the same hospital where I started as an nurses aid and them worked myself up to an RN supervisor of a sleep lab. I hired and fired people, I wrote policies and trained people. I did have doubts and fears that some day I would wake up and people would know what a fake I was. Well I was not a fake I knew my stuff I just did not have faith in myself. I think counseling would help you. I will tell you most people do not feel they are good enough and feel they are not doing a good enough job. Good luck to you
2 people like this
@raynejasper (2326)
• Philippines
12 Jan 09
..I'm just wondering why you still feel that way when you are already exposed to facing different people.. maybe, you need to take sometime for yourself and realize or analyze why you feel that way.. when you discover the reason why you're feeling that way, then maybe you could also think of how you could overcome that.. you may not need to consult a professional one regarding your feelings.. you could overcome that alone.. it is just a phase that you really need to look into and overcome it..
2 people like this
• India
12 Jan 09
my advice to you is take a break from everything... drink so much you cant take anymore... puke ../ laugh and sleep./.. i guess you will feel better.. i know it sounds totally stupid and silly.. but sometimes silly things may cure serious problems... thank you
1 person likes this
@Frederick42 (2020)
• Canada
12 Jan 09
You might need pofessional help.Maybe there is some event in your childhood that has made you feel inferior. A professional might help you out of it. Another option would be meditation. When one goes into silence and total relaxation, then one's mind will be very free and that might help increase one's self-esteem.
1 person likes this
@jammyt (2824)
• Philippines
12 Jan 09
I don't think you need to seek professional help YET. I recommend you to attend self help seminars. At least you'll be in groups and you'll see that you are not alone in this predicament.There are a lot of seminars for these kinds of situations so don't worry.
1 person likes this
• Australia
12 Jan 09
Well you said since you were young you had very low self-esteem, so i don't think it's a phase. If you think professional help will benefit you why not give it a try. You can always stop if it does not help. Sounds like you're doing well in your social life, but you still feel inadequate? Do you feel you were just showing a facade to be able to perform socially but lacking your true self? Go seek help because it seems this has been bothering you.
1 person likes this
@infogood (44)
• United States
12 Jan 09
YES, YOU MUST!!! If this has been happening to you for more than a few weeks, then you have to get proffecional help. This means this is somewhat seroius. I've seen a couple of cases and I've been through hard situations. It's almost impossible to improve your self-esteem by yourself, you'll always (most of the times) end up feeling the same way. Start a new life by seeking professional help, I'm sure you won't regret it. Your case might not be so serious and it might not go more than just feeling bad, but other people might hurt themselves... there is no need to go that far. There is hope... SEEK A PROFFESSIONAL!!!
@checapricorn (16072)
• United States
12 Jan 09
[i]Hi maz, I guess you need to just hang out with friends and have fun. Go out with them and have a regular activity like play your favorite sport, in that way, you have divertion from your busy life or whatever it is! You've been exposed already a lot and proven yourself so, what you need to do is to start the confidence within you! Just start it and be positive in life all the time![/i]
@cesarbc (22)
• United States
12 Jan 09
something that is good to improve your self-esteen is doing something like a jobby or an activity to help you feel better for Exaple you should practice different kind of sports until you get the one, i mean a sport that you will feel that you are good at it, in my case i practice soccer, when i feel kind of sad and then i play soccer after i play soccer i feel much better because i know that i am good at it.I don`t know if i made myself clear i`m not good at explaining but basically thiis elps to me to inprove my self-esteen
• United States
12 Jan 09
I wouldn't rush into seeking professional help to improve your self-esteem. I don't have a problem with self-esteem, and one of the reasons is because I don't take myself too seriously. I like to play games that require a bit of skill like Scrabble, but I enjoy it when anybody plays a good word, and whether I win or somebody else. If you can grow in your ability to enjoy it you or somebody else makes others happy or successful, you won't have to be so concerned about self-esteem. Low self-esteem is not the source of as many problems as many think. Most of the folks in prison today do no suffer from low self-esteem...they are there because they got caught doing what they thought they had a right to do regardless of what it did to others. Maybe you try doing nice little things for others for no reason. Just to bless people. If you find you like it, maybe you'll get so happy you'll forget about where your self-esteem is.
@FDBrister (115)
• United States
12 Jan 09
Speaking from a psychologist's point of view, the fact that you believe you may need to seek help is an indicator that you should. Even in this discussion, you've shown some level of confidence, intelligence, and knowledge of self-worth. It sounds to me like there's something else going on, something deeper. Your self esteem doesn't seem that low to me. I think you may have something underlying going on. Go see someone, they can help you figure out what's going on and how to make it better.
@thedaddym (1737)
• United States
12 Jan 09
If it has been many years and you still feel this way then maybe. It sounds like you are playing with your own mind because it sounds to me like you know you are attraced and well liked because you see evidence of it in other people, but you don't see it yourself. It sounds like you have a small desire to keep yourself down because you feel safe that way. Embrace what you have been given, take pride in yourself, be happy for yourself and your accomplishments. Stop trying to hold yourself down, and start being proud of yourself. You would be proud of a friend, your child, your siblings, or your parents for achieving what you have, now it is time to be proud of yourself.
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
12 Jan 09
I can understand where you are coming from. I suffer with some low self esteem. It is not easy to feel that way. Sometimes when you have felt this way for a long time it can be very hard to surmount it. Some people suffer with inferiority and I have a tendency to feel like that from time to time. I feel like I could be doing something more productive in my life. You shouldn't feel down about yourself. Think about the things you do that help other people and there are friends that do care about you. Good luck to you.