Mommy or Daddy, such and such hit me!

@hdjohnson (2981)
United States
January 15, 2009 10:56am CST
How many times a day do you hear statements like this? It has been more frequent with our three year old, hitting her older brother who is 5 now. It used to be that the three year old would bite her older siblings, until we told them to bite her back. Well that was sort of a bitter sweet ending to the biting, one that my son and three year old will never forget I'm sure. My son after getting bitten, bit his younger sister so hard it left an almost ugly scar. Needless to day he had gotten in trouble for that one. But it has been happening more frequently and not, that our three year old will hit her brother, until last night. I overheard her fussing and screaming at him and low and behold, he was playing with her birthday balloon, so she was about to get upset enough to hit him, until I called him on the carpet about it. I didn't grow up with any of my siblings, my youngest brother was 11 years older than me, so as a child everyone was pretty much grown. How about you and your children? Any advise on how to get them to stop that? We've told my son that he is not to bite, or hit his sisters or any other woman for that matter. So he hasn't tried doing that in a while.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@asgtswife04 (2482)
• United States
15 Jan 09
It's always tough with more than one child when it comes to how they act towards one another. I have three children myself, ages 10..9..and almost 3. Very tough! My 10 and 9 year olds act just like my 3 year old most of the time. The two older ones are boys and then my 3 year old is a girl. They have never hit her, but they do tell on her a lot and now that she's in daycare she likes to tell on them to...usually just to say they've done something even when they haven't. Children closer in age though, you just have to tough it out and seperate them from one another. The more you seperate them and they realize they don't want to not be around the other person they usually do better towards one another. Find stuff for them to do together, with you, that way you can watch how things are going. Do stuff with them seperately as well. Children need to know that they are special in their own way and that no matter what you always have time for just them. It gets easier as they get older, but it's still key to keep these things up. good luck and God bless
2 people like this
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
18 Jan 09
I spend time with them separately as much as possible. I take my son with me to a all games day for men, at least once a month! Then I take my daughters to the store and other places with me. They love for me to take them to the park as well. We always have lots of fun doing that.
@Margajoe (4718)
• Germany
15 Jan 09
I was brought up as an only child myself. I have two children, a girl and a boy. I could never understand why they were the way they were. I thought it was suppose to be fun to have a brother or a sister. My daughter was about 9 years old and was beating up her brother, he was 7 at the time. They have a difference of 1 and a half years. He was not aloud to tell anyone that she was beating him. I accidentally heard them , when something did not sound right. I had heard that a couple times before, but they always let me now nothing was wrong. This time I heard him cry so sadly, I picked around the corner and saw my daughter hitting my son.She was beating him! This time I new what was going on. I asked my daughter to come to me alone. She came, and told me they were only playing. I send her away and asked my son what was going on. He said, nothing. There was nothing going on , we were just playing. I looked at him and stared at his eyes and he started to cry. Asked my daughter to come back and she thought her brother had told on her and said: He was not aloud to say anything!!! Oh my, I was shocked! And angry, I smashed the door with my fist and almost went through it. I did not look at my daughter anymore, because I did not want to lose control. I told her to pack up some things, and go to grandma and grandpa. They only lived 5 minutes away, not even 5 min. I called my Mom and told her, I have to calm down. It was better for my daughter to leave the house. Two weeks later she came back home. After this she never did that again. I now it sounds drastic, but it is better than losing my temper on my daughter. I was really angry, she could have killed him. I still don't understand how she could act like that. She is now 23 and my son is 21. When we talk about it now, she does not remember. She only remembers the bad mommy who send her to live with Grandma and Grandpa. Of course. hahaha! But, they get along great now. Take care.
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
18 Jan 09
I'm sure that as she starts having children one day how much it really means that you loved her and didn't want to express your anger toward for her mischievous behavior. Just tonight, my son was turning the lights out and laughing, my daughter came upstairs and told that he was turning the lights out. I called him upstairs and asked him was he turning the lights out on his sister. I then asked him why was he doing it. He stated he didn't know. I told him he was probably laughing while he was turning the lights out. I asked him how did I know that he was laughing, because my daughter only told me that he was turning the lights out on her. I told him, I used to be your age, that is how I know what you were thinking at the time of your misbehavior. I told him to get downstairs to help his sister to finish doing the jobs they were assigned to do. It was a hilarious situation, really!
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4718)
• Germany
18 Jan 09
Yes, I think your right. My daughter will one day understand. For everything you need a diploma, or a study,schooling. But, no one per pairs you to become a Mother. There are no real rules, and I think being a good Mom is very important. Yet to be a cleaning lady, you need papers of education. It is so weird. Being a Mom is natural people say. But in this day and age it is not easy. You are expected to work, bring home the money and have all time left over for the children. A lot of Mothers are alone. It is hard. Take care.
1 person likes this
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
18 Jan 09
Interesting, I hope you didn't mistake me for my wife writing this discussion, as I am the father of the three tike's in the photo of my avatar. Some of us fathers and mothers should absolutely write books because there isn't one out there that properly prepares us for the unknown antics that our children will attempt to cause us to want to pull our hair out. But some of them are so obvious that we know that we attempted that as a child ourselves, and sometimes that is enough to lead and guide us in knowing exactly what to do. Thanks so your participation.
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
15 Jan 09
My almost 2 year old is always beating up on her older brother who is 9. I am always hearing him yelling because she is hitting him, biting him, scratching him, or throwing toys at him. I usually make her say she is sorry and then keep them separated for awhile.
1 person likes this
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
18 Jan 09
We always make them say their sorry to one another, we also make the victim say they forgive the offender.