She "coded" yesterday morning...
By Ravenladyj
@Ravenladyj (22904)
United States
January 17, 2009 12:29pm CST
so my best friends mom died yesterday morning....they managed to revive her but doubt she'll make it through the weekend....She has pnemonia which apparently is the final stage of lung cancer adn she's not well at all..Her daughter (my best friend) called me last night at 1am but I didnt hear the phone and my hubby didnt get it in time..I talked to a dear friend of ours this earlier who filled me in...it doesnt look good at all....IF she survives the weekend...its just a matter of days before she passes...
this is goin to be so hard...Like I said in my other thread about this..."Nanny" has ALWYAS been wonderful to me and my kids when they came along....this is a woman who cared about me the way my mother SHOULD have...she put up with the retarded antics of her daughter and I when we were teens and again in our 20s...Her daughter is my best friend, her grandkids (my gfs kids) are like my kids and this is goin to be hell....
For those of you who pray..please pray for her and the family...for those of you who dont pray...please do what you do whatever it may be...Strength and positive thoughts, vibes etc is REALLY whats needed right now..Thanks ahead of time..
to make this a discussion - when the life of someone you love is coming to the very end...do you find relief in it if they've been in pain etc...do you break down..are you all over the place emotionally??
6 people like this
8 responses
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
18 Jan 09
did she die as you said in the first sentence here or is she dying, I don't know what you mean, either way the family has my prayers.
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
18 Jan 09
Hi raven~ It is a very difficult thing to know that someone
who you have truly cared for and loved deeply is going to
die and there is nothing that you can do for them but pray.
But, knowing that they have been in pain and have suffered
sometimes makes it just a bit easier to know that they will
soon be at peace and no longer have to suffer. It may not
be the perfect answer, but it does sometimes help to console
if only a little bit. I will pray for all those who love this
friend of yours and for you that all of you will be able to
get through this very difficult time. And that this woman will
be able to rest peacefully knowing that she is so loved and
will no longer have to suffer the pain of her horrible disease
any longer. God Bless You All, Opal
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45939)
• United States
19 Jan 09
In November, when my ex-husband was very ill, I prayed that if it was God's will, I would like for him to be healed. If it wasn't God's will for him to recover from the illness I prayed that he would take him home quickly and not let him linger in pain and suffering. He answered my prayers 2 days later when he crossed over. His pain ended and ours began. Despite the fact that we all knew that one day he would no longer be with us, the grief struck us like a bolt of lightening. One day the grief we suffer will subside. We will one day be reunited. My faith tells me this.
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
17 Jan 09
Well, I think that I am the one that finds relief once a loved one does pass. I don't have to worry anymore because the loved one is is in God's hands now, and isn't suffering. When my Great-Great-Grandmother became sick before she passed, who for all intensive purposes was my mother, that is when I broke down and cried for her, in solitude. I don't know if I felt she was hurting, or I knew that she would be leaving soon that made me cry, but I did when I heard that she was in a coma from a stroke. However, when she finally passed a week later, I was the comfort for everyone else. I felt like, being the oldest of my mother's four kids, I had to be the support, the shoulder to cry on. So I guess I was getting my grief out of the way when she fell ill, so that I could be there for everyone else when she finally passed.
Yes, this will be a hard time for you and your friend, no matter how your friend takes the finality of it all. But I send my condolences, my sincere apologies, and my prayers to you and your friend, that you get through this in the smoothest way possible.
1 person likes this
@Amberina (1541)
• United States
17 Jan 09
I had this happen to my Grandmother on my dad's side, I wasn't really close to her like you are with your freinds mom. When she was dying of old age I went and seen her in the hospital and she wasn't able to talk but I knew she could hear me and I told her I loved her and I held her hand for awhile and then I said good-bye for the last time. It's never easy to see someone you love, coming to the end of their life. They have lived a full rish life full of love and like everyone they have to die, but you can live on and remember her life and the joys she had watching her daughter and you have fun you two gave her a lot of joys with having your children and laughter of watching them grow. I'm sure she will always have your love and she will be missed greatly. May she always be in your hearts in an the smiles of the people who love her.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159318)
• Boise, Idaho
17 Jan 09
This is a very emotional time. All over the place would definitely describe it at times. Joy in having had them in your lives and hopefully plenty of memories. Enough to last. It is never easy to lose someone you love and that has loved you. But, isn't it selfish to want them to stick around and be in pain and agony. For what? The essense is gone but the person will live on forever. Give this to the children. Help them to understand. With time they will.
1 person likes this
@TrinityRose (462)
• United States
18 Jan 09
Well I know from personal experience that it is the worst hell I have ever been through. I lost both of my parents to cancer, six months apart. I watched them die in the same hospice and there was nothing I could do for them which was horrible for me. All I could do if I thought they were in pain was press a button on their pain medication pump to give them an extra dose of pain medicine. I would have gladly changed places with them if I could have! That is why I am a firm believer in medical euthanasia!
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
18 Jan 09
Ravenladyj,
It was once written:
Life is but a stopping place,
A pause in what's to be,
A resting place along the road,
to sweet eternity.
We all have different journeys,
Different paths along the way,
We all were meant to learn some things,
but never meant to stay...
Our destination is a place,
Far greater than we know.
For some the journey's quicker,
For some the journey's slow.
And when the journey finally ends,
We'll claim a great reward,
And find an everlasting peace,
Together with the Lord.
Like a bird singing in the rain, let grateful memories survive in time of sorrow.
Take care.
